Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,
I’ve had several students ask me why the following happens:
You’ve connected with a woman and brought her to “that place” where she is ready to “go for it.” It started with her giving you a curious “uhhhh, can I help you?” glance when you first approached her, and in less time than you thought, she’s now naked and on your bed and…yes…it’s on.
Just NOW, for some reason, Private Wood stops standing at attention. He slouches on the job and can’t get back up. Even when she goes into “drill instructor mode” (don’t you love when she gets all dominatrix-like?), your Johnson insists on tripping you up.
HOWEVER…you don’t THINK it’s erectile dysfunction: after all, normally things are “functioning” correctly. You don’t have a problem “enjoying” fantasies or your favorite porno. You can close the deal with Rosie and her sisters on a moment’s notice, every time. So overall, you believe the machinery works.
“It” seems to happen ONLY when you’re actually boarding the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle with a live woman.
Let me get it out of the way: see your doctor anyway. Every day of “I really SHOULD see a doctor” is 1,440 minutes of self-imposed flaccidity that might not have to be. It’s YOUR life, only you can live it.
Now that we have that out of the way (made that appointment yet?), let me ask you three questions.
- Think back to your feelings when Private Wood went AWOL. What came up for you? Nervousness? Fear? Worry you might not “stand up” in the ranks of her previous lovers? Something in your head saying “I shouldn’t be doing this?”
- When it happened, how did you react? Did you give up? Seek her support in getting things back on track? Switch to pleasing her for a while until things started “looking up” for you?
- How did SHE react? Did she throw you out (or get up and leave)? Or did she say, with a sly grin and a cute gleam in her eye, “Hmmm, seems the ol’ hard drive is booting up a little slow. Where’s the CD-ROM for this, so we can stick it in and get it spinning?”
It’s called “performance anxiety” because you’re anxious, not because you’re a bad person or something’s necessarily wrong with you. (Though you still need to check with your doc – got that appointment booked? The receptionist and/or the nurse, not to mention the doctor herself, might be sizzling hot and looking for a man like you.)
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Need the mechanism that brings up whatever it is that’s keeping you down? For the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system that untangles the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys at an very underachieving level, click here to start finding your way to full-strength.
1/Everybody now uses Viagra, or the cheap generic variant, Kamagra, even my 20 yr old students (apparently!). So guys, stock some up: local saunas will sell you the stuff over the counter, dirt cheap, no questions asked: it helps with the first night blues..
2/If she is any good and you experience a problem of this kind (and everyone will sooner or later) she will persist.If she is a cheap whore who does not give a damn she will not.
3/Sometimes it happens if you are angry with her, or she’s just a lousy lay, or you discover after all the buildup that she has a loose pussy and a bedroom attitude problem…again if they are any good they will persevere.
4/In my experience the worst female bedroom performers are the mouthy ones who are always alluding to their sexual prowess and experience: usually, as with guys this is a defence mechanism cloaking their bedroom problems…and they are the least likely to be sympathetic if you are having an off night…
Yes Ross, it does happen. I’ve never had a girl get up and leave though. I have had two spend the night waiting for the morning woody! Most of the gals I have seen want to get off so they work their magic!
what is about seduction makes you feel totally passionate about? Is it some part of you isnt functioning as the way you want? lol
just copy some of ross’s language from his youtube and you can learn so much more
It helps to RESIST fantasizing about the sex with HER as much as possible. When you DO fantasies about sex with her, dont think about HER orgasms or HER good time. Instead focus on YOUR pleasure. Sounds selfish, and as a “pleaser” it’s a discipline for me, believe me.
Problems arise when you fantasize about the sex too much BEFORE you have it, and you imagining giving her the “performance of a lifetime”… with her having 30 explosive multiple “squirter” orgasms…screaming your name…and fireworks, and the whole deal etc etc. STOP THAT SHIT. You end up building too much pressure that you can’t live up to. Keep your sexual thoughts of her SIMPLE, “selfish” and not EGO based. Affirm to yourself “I don’t care what she thinks of me…this is for me”. Remind yourself that she’s transient, she isn’t going to be here forever, and there’s ten more behind her(or hundreds). If you have a problem telling yourself that…..then…..
YOU AREN’T APPROACHING ENOUGH WOMEN! PERIOD! The common “inner” bullshit answer your stupid brain will spit out is “Well..i’m not at that stage in the game yet, blah blah blah Im not ready yet blah blah blah”. NONSENSE. No one is born ready. You think because you’ve seduced ONE woman that you are getting good at what your doing. Its ONE pick up. Take it for what it is, feel good about it, but don’t let yourself feel too good about one pick-up, and don’t RELAX in it. You need a sense of urgency in this area of your life its too important. Shit, even make yourself anxious about not being good at. Honestly, the stress of anxiety sucks, i know because I have anxiety issues…but its really better than not being anxious enough because you won’t be pushing yourself. What are you waiting for? You think your going to get comfy with all this one day for some “magical reason”?
So remember…its ONE peice of ass…ONE…among MANY…It’s YOUR FRUITS for YOUR seduction efforts. Objectify it, enjoy it as you enjoy your porn you little pervert 🙂 YOUR sex life is about YOU…NOT the woman. Allow yourself to give her a LOUSY time. Your brain is saying “Well if i don’t do it RIGHT..she won’t come back for more”. Maybe, but if you can’t get a boner she wont be happy either. When its time for the deed…CASH IN..its about YOU. “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SHE THINKS”
oh..just to clear up. When i say its better to be “too anxious” than not enough, im talking about the “pick-up”/APPROACHING area of your life. If you’re get anxious about that, not the actual approach itself but the fact that your well into your 20s and still a virgin…then you will PUSH yourself to grow…then you will start ATTACKING. Then you will end up with experience…which leads to knowledge…which leads to power…with leads to CHOICE, with women. In CHOICE…you will enjoy everything more.
Its confusing because we are dealing with a few types of anxiety with this whole “seduction/pickup” thing.
If Private Wood, has spent a lot of time, dating your hand, he might have difficulty coming to attention without the usual props. So go ahead and pull them out. Screw what she thinks. You like to say stuff when you get off? Then go ahead and shout the same stuff, right in her face. Most girls love crazy talk, once they are in bed. It makes them feel like they can cut loose and do whatever.
So far the only time pvt. wood has gone AWOL on me if I’ve had too much to drink.
First of all this happens to everyone eventually. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, just wait. It’s on the way. What you have to do is figure out WHY it happened. In many cases you are tripping yourself up with guilt. If there is something you have to clear up before a good boink, take care of it first and your private will be back on duty! On the other hand, your subconscious may be telling you something about the girl your with…like even though her legs are spread, she’s really a man hatin bitch and the thought of sex with a woman with an asshole list as long as your arm is the last thing you truly want to do. After the sex if you don’t want anything to do with her, guess who’s next on the asshole list? Sometimes the fuckin you get isn’t worth the fuckin ya get! So Private Richard Johnson just goes AWOL.
I think it’s a bit like when they say that you are only as good as your last film. No matter how many great nights in the sack you’ve had your last performance is the one that’s in your mind particulary if it wasn’t a great one. I think that what Ross says makes a lot of sense, if you feel that she’s really into you then it will relax you but it can also add pressure of not wanting to disappoint her. It’s all kind of perverse logic, if she said that she didn’t want sex then you’d probably get a boner hard enough to knock out a pitbull. I she said give it to me hard, now, all night it may have the opposite effect.
This happened to me the other night!! Honestly I had a solid erection, then I had to leave the room to get a condom and my blood flow just went elsewhere… But then when I got back she was still wet as hell and READY TO F****! But I needed to be warmed up again and she was too rowdy for me to even get back to feeling comfortable…
I had to tell her to slow down a few times and tone her back to just kissing until I got my mind to reset. It’s happened to me millions of times in the past but its totally mental. You just have to get comfortable again and then warm back up to F*** status.
@Fabien
I don’t think “social proof” is necessary to be wildly successful with women. When you can lock her attention on to her and open up her mind and body to you, YOU are all the “proof’ she needs.
And if your employees are nagging on you, the real issue is establishing the proper respect and power relationship. Nagging on you? They need to respect you and do their jobs well, first and foremost, or fire their asses!
RJ