Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,
It’s easy to say that women who are mean to you, or who act in ways that don’t hold up to logic, are mean, psycho bitches.
Have you considered the role self-esteem plays? Think about it.
Most women have dealt with some previous wanker boyfriend / husband / boss criticizing her, her friends backstabbing her, things not going her way, getting her heart broken, getting cheated on, etc. Or some of the above. Or ALL of the above, where her wanker boyfriend cheated on her with her backstabbing best friend, thus breaking her heart, which means things did not go her way.
The result? What do you THINK? Internal low self esteem. Externally, these wounded souls evolve into perpetrators of bitchiness.
They frequently have a bad attitude. The “drama” is trauma based – tantrums, making up stories that are obviously lies, being rude about others, etc etc. They are only happy if other people feel worse than they do, and often do all they can, including blatant manipulation, to create a situation that makes them feel better and puts them at the center of the universe.
You’re Not Out Of Luck, Though
Here’s how many girl-getting maestros will approach this:
Disarm her and show her you are unaffected. Turn it on her in a humorous fashion. Ignore her with a smile. But if you can’t, then it’s “Exit, Stage Left.”
Problem, though: this only works for a while. She’ll revert back to the drama/trauma frame over and over.
We Need A Direction Toward Something Better
Look: if you were to daily, ritually, synergistically and synchronistically be guided to and have guided to you, women who were happy, open-minded, grounded, loving life, contributing, supportive, who, when they receive love, welcome and return it…maybe, just maybe, after clearing up whatever of your OWN “stuff” might be drawing you to the drama/trauma crowd, you might start bumping into more and more such women.
Just like light can be measured as either a particle or a wave, depending on HOW you look for it and measure it, problems can be met at the level at which they come up, or you can go deeper, wider, or even “to the side”.
I want to suggest that BOTH approaches are required; train oneself to see the truth behind “bitchy” behavior and not to react to it, but also train oneself to expand the possibilities and to draw MUCH better where these “problems” will just not occur.
It IS possible.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Had enough of getting rejected, ignored, humiliated, overlooked, shut down or standing there frozen and speechless by beautiful women who unleash the trauma drama? Ready to turn it around and start getting the results YOU want? Then check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.
This is so true and so deep in many levels… and overall… Powerful 😉
If a guy nails this… such a powerful description and deep understanding of her reality can only make her succumb to your enchanting.
On the other hand, it is true in order to find something amazing, you have to work deep inside your own core to become amazing yourself… and that just means to improve yourself everyday.
You just extracted another pearl from an oyster Ross… 🙂
very insightful:)
the only problem is that I do not know where all those “loving” and “return love with love” congregate?!
well probably not in bars !
I tried yoga and meditation and healing course’ girls as I heard women there are healthier. To my great surprise, I found out that their problems and insecurities are far more worse than average club-girl as it is covered beneath multiple levels of bad self-esteem and boundaries.
Ross, I hope you can guide us where we can possibly find these girls or how to identify them?
I own SS 3.0 and do not recall you talking about it.
@Ali I’ve written several posts on this. Here’s a few that come to mind:
https://www.seduction.com/blog/meeting-women-when-alone/
https://www.seduction.com/blog/being-tongue-tied-around-a-woman/
https://www.seduction.com/blog/suggestions-and-commands/
You’ll also be interested in the soon-to-be-opened Vaginal Victory Vault. Get on the list http://www.rjtrainingvault.com/launch/ for announcements and sneak peeks.
@Ali
It’s not about location but where they are in their lives.
To get to this point, it takes intent and practice.
Here are some clues:
Does she listen? Is she willing to hear you out, without defending, when you are upset or unhappy? Can she enjoy you being successful? Do you feel welcomed
and special in her presence? Can she admit when she is wrong? Is it ok for her to not have the answers and to tolerate, even enjoy, uncertainty? Can she ask for what she wants without demanding it? Can she express her dissatisfaction without pointing the finger, slinging shit or calling names?
This is rare, but you CAN find it.
Thank you Ross for the links,
Especially the first one was what I was looking for.
All and all, you are truly the seduction godfather and I wonder why you do not do a program on relationships.
You know there are lots of BS “Mars supplicates Venues” stuff out there and it seems that seduction gurus are afraid to step into this realm. But above all, many guys are not trying to become PUA or to go that deep in seduction. they want a better relationship, more love, more fulfillment and peace.
But I feel there is still a big gap between seduction world and relationship. I’m sure if someone makes a program on this it will sell like crazy.
And if you are not qualified to do it, then I don’t know who else can?!
Ross,
Answering those questions is difficult, because in my case she is doing them and sometimes not, I could say 50-50
Here is the unresolved dilemma that I face:
If I only like her to the extent that I hold most of my feelings back, suppress my love and caring side, show more disinterest and unpredictability, she is digging me all.
When I just start to relax a little bit into my real self, showing my caring side, getting pissed-off when she is sabotaging herself or showing any sort of commitment, she acts more bitchy.
I am not saying I act like a wussy. I push her away the moment I feel she is not appreciating, but as a result I have to fake a semi-jerk persona in order to excite her. And deep inside it feels so bad and immature to me.
And it builds up to the point that I decide being lonely and true to my soul is way better than having a hot vagina around…
And that’s where she wakes up crying and I feel that maybe I’m not a good person having played with her feelings and not became a victim of her controlling moods.
@Ali
This is a deeply confused girl you are with.
Remember my wise saying, “Confused people act in a confusing fashion”.
Move on, or just enjoy her for what she is: a warm body/fuck buddy.
Do NOT give your emotions to a deeply confused human. Doing so is like putting your finger in an electric socket and expecting to get a nice massage instead of a nasty shock.
Your mileage WILL vary.
RJ
Ross,
Thanks for looking deeper into this. There are some people that see a girl with those sensetive eyes and fro time to time she would be negating and questioning your actions of generocity and spontenousness..
And this is better advice to what this old woman told me about getting a car and getting my own place that would get me independant and get girls to feel safe around me (what the *&%^?).
Would you care to cover the above from your experiences..? Because for me it sounds like attracting women who want to retire after they are all ‘partied out’ hint hint wink wink around the world.
Ali,
Ross’s advice is great, you need to deeply qualify a girl before getting into a long-term thing. If she’s not ready for it, it will not likely happen. Don’t use looking for ms-right as an excuse for oneitius.
As far as keeping a relationship like that fresh after years together, there’s all sorts of advice around, and most of it is involving holding together people whose closeness is reduced to a mild freindship at best with no passion remaining.
@Roy
Correct. So many guys are willing to put up with anything as long as the girl is hot and shares the pussy.
That beats being alone by a far cry, but there is a lot more out there.
RJ
Ross;
I came as a surprise to see in this article that you are actually talking about self-esteem when by contrast in your basic training course you clearly state that such thing does not exist.
You stated that self-esteem was something created in the 60’s and 70’s and asked the audience where it was before someone wrote about it. There is no such thing as self-esteem but there is the ongoing flow of where you choose to put your attention, your believes, and energetics that are behind them.
So, what’s going on here? This sounds as if you were contradicting yourself. Please clarify.
Ate.
O.
@Ostil
Strictly speaking, you are correct. I’m using the term as a short-hand description of an overall type of woman who has a poor ability to sort through her conflicting emotions, poor learning skills, a pattern of repeating mistakes, an inability to get perspective on how her actions are perceived by others, etc.
To spell all that out, long hand, in a short blog post, just wouldn’t make sense.
But nice catch….
RJ
Ross, man I love your insight pretty powerful stuff, as my time & lack of patience is limited I prefer to “duck” & continue.