Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
To begin, let’s make a distinction between jealousy and envy.
Envy is when someone has something that you want and you don’t have it. Jealousy is when you have something, you feel that someone is going to take it away, and you feel threatened by it.
Which one is it, envy or jealousy? They’re commonly confused.
Let me explain, or remind you, jealousy is a biological function.
When it’s the kind of jealousy that emerges when your woman shows interest toward another man, or another dude hits on your chick, jealousy boosts your sexual arousal so you become more, shall we say, competitive in nature’s own formula for propagating the human species.
This is why you might feel “anger” in these scenarios – your biological reactions are all amped up. It’s why jealousy can be all-consuming and make you unable to focus. This also explains why some guys get excited when their woman messes around with other guys.
Regardless of the biological basis, in society you still have to deal with jealousy in a non-biological way.
As my teacher Shinzen Young explains, it’s not the type of emotion. It’s the way in which you relate to the emotion that makes the difference. Whether it’s envy, jealousy, hatred, anger, lust or rage, the important thing is how you relate to it. What do you do with it:
- Do you get locked into it?
- Do you allow it to drive your behavior and distort your perception?
- Can you relate to it in a different way?
- Do you understand it?
A Different Way Of Thinking About Jealousy
There are all kinds of airplanes. There are propeller planes, jet planes, and fighter and bomber aircraft. All of those aircraft still operate on the same laws of aerodynamics: Lift, drag, thrust and reaction.
Again: it doesn’t matter what kind of emotion. What matters is the way in which you relate to it, what you do with it, and how you experience it.
Even to ask the question, “How do I deal with jealousy?” shows a need to understand the distinction between the content of the emotion and the way in which it’s experienced.
Peace and piece,
PR (aka RJ)
P.S. Inside Speed Seduction® 3.0, you will learn how to use everyday emotional alchemy to transmute stuck emotions into informed enthusiasm and intelligent motivation. Plus much. much more.
I usually look at why a girl would want to flirt with other men if she says she wants to be with me.
I get the ramping up of the sexual feelings thing, but really? why do that when there are better ways to do it?
If my girl flirts elsewhere with any kind of intent, she’s on her own.
Guruji (teacher),
As far as “Maha Bharata & The Gita” teaches I consider you my guru “Dronacharya”. Though I never let you know that fact earlier and expect your kindself accommodating. My process of obtaining your teachings may be questionable and I know you won’t really mind. I feel other than the affluent disciples of your, there are lot of people like me who seek your blessings, who are suffering from social disorders like Parkinson’s disease.
Your pioneering attitude has gifted us with your conviction and discretion about how women respond to and guide them to the desired mental, emotional and spiritual state. I have suffered from a failed marriage and a couple of unsuccessful relationship with women due to my ignorance after which I discovered how pathetically incorrect and immature I was in regards to who women really are and the culprit is Ross teachings which has salvaged me from seeking death as my final refuge. I feel those women of 1980’s who grossly disagreed with your truth about them were under profound spell of the new found freedom and vulnerability. I think if Charls Darvin is right then civil society should not preach what is against human instinct and instead of controversial sex education proficiency in “Speed Seduction” should be the criteria for marriage at Registrar of court marriage. Ample statistics and surveys indicate true survival of human is not governed by any rules laid down by any authority rather we are programmed to follow our instincts coded down in our genetics.
Well may I take liberty of asking why you mention Peace and piece, then u sign at the end of your articles? Hope my gesture is not intrusive & unsolicited.
With warm regards
Sujit Sarkar (In)
Can you give some examples as to how you would deal with a situation where you might feel jealousy? I think it takes discipline to find a helpful way of thinking about it. In my case I usually say to myself, well even if another guy is competition, all I know is that there is a seaload of beautiful woman out there that would be willing to ride my baloney pony.
Girls use jealousy to challenge and get you to do more, I think it is a weak point, it’s a way to establish scarcity using the craving principle. There won’t be scarcity of horny women untill the human race will exist.
I suppose an enlighted monk never experience jealousy. Just equanimity toward his desires and other people behaviour.
Hi Ross,
I have been trying to get with this really cute Thai chick who doesn’t speak much English. The problem is, I don’t see her very often and even when I do, she doesn’t understand most of the things I say to her. I was just wondering if you have any ideas as to what I might be able to do in this situation to steer things in the right direction? I do have her on Facebook and I also have her number.
Your input would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Shyan
@Shyan
Just use vibes, simple sentences and keep intent strong
Allow me to be sincere, if she doesn’t speak english she can’t understand your culture, so be careful
I usually screen them after the f-close ’cause I never trust them
I met my girlfriend (who I never actually formally broke up with) after many years. She took her ride on my baloney pony and then later she started saying how ‘cool’ one of my friends was. She went on a motorcycle ride with him. I didn’t even intend to continue seeing this girl. It’s just that I happened to be in her city for a week. Then I just started to ignore her completely, not as a strategy but genuinely as in why the fuck would I want a girl who is trying to make me feel jealous? After a while she addressed the issue and said why was I ignoring her. I just said well she should be with my friend. Why was she with me? And then I just left. It hurt a lot. A LOT! But I walked away anyway. To hell with it. I’ve had her many times and I’m still the best choice that any woman can make, and if she can’t see it, her loss. Later on she came crying back, after some sappy texts and never tried to make me jealous after that. I’ve slept with a even hotter women after that incident and made out with many more and I don’t really even care who she is involved with. But I do know if I go to her city and call her, things may lead to cape carousel once again! But my strategy was just to be detached from the outcome and when she was trying to make me jealous I guess the attitude that determined my behavior was, “When I don’t know what to do I take a bold step forward”.
@Harsh
“I’m still the best choice that any woman can make”
The women you need to be with will agree. That’s what you need to concern yourself with.