Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
A student of mine shared with me a situation he was in with an HB9 he was Sarging. He found she had many qualities that appealed to him. The “diamond in the rough”, the “needle in the haystack.”
One thing: she had a ‘borefriend’ and, so she claimed, she had never been “in love.”
His initial approach was to explore with her the values she needs to see in herself in order to be in love, and among these she listed “vulnerability.”
Now, one of the mistakes in his thinking was he was going to try to give her an experience she never had before…being in love…in order to get her away from her current “borefriend”.
I asked him…
What if he just had to be a bit more tempting… a bit more exciting… a bit more tasty… a bit more aggressive than her borefriend?
I took an approach counter-intuitive to what my student was thinking… and that is, first focus on turning her on, opening her to a place where she could have feelings and responses she’d never had before.
Thing is, “vulnerability” is not an end value. VULNERABILITY is only valuable in that it would allow her to experience emotions and BODY FEELINGS she wasn’t having with her borefriend.
She THOUGHT she had to have that experience in the context of being “in love” and in going along, my student was buying into HER limit.
Bad thing.
Instead, I suggested he say this… “If you could imagine being totally vulnerable to this person… because for whatever reasons you knew that this person had all the qualities that let you FEEL THAT WAY… what do you imagine being vulnerable would allow you to experience and feel… that you know you’ve always wanted?”
And once he said that, to be ready to anchor the responses and feed back her words.
So, let’s say she would reply, “Swept away… enraptured… totally taken and out of my own self”.
My student would need to be sure he anchored this… do something… tap on a packet of sugar or on the table with the intent he was anchoring the state.
Then say to her, “Wow… so if you could have THESE feelings… where do you imagine you’d first recognize on the inside… what is the first signal on the inside that would let you know… these feelings of swept away… enraptured… totally taken…are even now… beginning to flow through you?”
Get what I told him?
You want to be able to produce the feelings, anchor them and not get caught up in HER limited view that she has to be in love first.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. One of the things I’m teaching in the “Hyper-Response” model of Speed Seduction® is that 80% of the seduction is going to be powered by the information and responses SHE gives you. To learn more and delve deeper, click here.
Ross that’s an awesome piece of work. It would probably take me 100 words to set that up. Question though I can anchor in other ways somewhat, tonality, gestures, but in this example of tapping on the table or sugar packet would I do this immediately after she makes the statement, immediately before or during ????
Wow, awesome
i just wanted to tell that some of the thing that you say have helped me heal better from a broken heart, and have helped me learn from my mistakes. you say some things that get this weigh off from my shoulders
in nlp terms my maps expand (English is not my native language sorry)
i am not as successful with women but it has helped me live with more peace which i think is more important, one good thing you say is that is not about being alpha or be the life of the party but be comfortable about just being, and learn how to make women feel. and i now some guys that are like that and they do very well. i was thinking about this; if your teaching give women pleasure then if i want women i should practice this stuff with them, and just enjoy the women that respond and from them the ones i like. do it just as a gift unattached from the out come.
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