Dear Seeker of Success,
A major theme that rears its ugly head in almost any discussion on seduction is the concern about looking “too eager” or approaching a woman with the vibe that how your day turns out depends on how she responds to you right now.
Act TOO eager and she’ll think you’re desperate and shoot you down.
Act too aloof and she’ll think you hate her and she won’t go to bed with you, much less agree to meet you later in a more intimate setting.
So it leaves you wondering…
Just Where The Hell Is
The “Middle Ground” Here?
I just got a question from a student who poses this issue from a slightly different angle:
Hi Ross, I have a question. If I am talking to a girl, I will be trying to get rapport with her. It seems however, that when I’m trying to get rapport with a chick, that she will detect this and then push me away.
What do you think I should do in order to obtain rapport without looking like I am “hungry for rapport” if you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Without looking like I’m “trying to get in with her?”
As Voltaire said, “If you are going to debate with me, first define your terms.”
So, what exactly do you mean by “rapport”…because I think your meaning is way off base.
I think YOU mean, “acceptance, welcoming, interest.”
That you are trying to get her to show you all of these things.
And that is NOT rapport at all, at least not a useful definition for Sarging.
There are plenty of useful definitions, but one I would aim at is,
An Unconscious Sense Of Connection,
Trust, Ease, A Sense Of Being On
A Similar Wavelength, A Relaxed Ease
In Each Other’s Presence
This is quite different from gaining acceptance or being welcomed into the person’s world.
Just because she accepts your tubesteak into her wet, willing love canal doesn’t mean you’ve become a part of her existence.
A student of mine got laid on the first “date” with a “super squirter chick.”
He had a great time with her that night, but their next meeting (three days later) was a bust… in which he didn’t get to see… her bust.
Then, she “dried up” and flaked with a bull%$@t excuse the day before what was supposed to be their third meeting. When he used an anti-flake pattern to get her to speak her truth about the matter, she told him she enjoyed their night together but didn’t feel anything in common and saw no future with him.
Funny Thing: When She Told Him
This, He Even Agreed!
During the times he was with her and they weren’t f@@king, it felt to him like he was working to make even basic conversation with her.
She wasn’t the kind of woman who responded to who he is and what he gives to the world.
None of the elements of MY definition of “rapport” were in place for him with her.
He chose to “exit, stage left” at this point and move on to women who were more receptive to his vibe.
In other words: despite all my student’s angst that whole week about whether she “accepted” him, it was a one-night stand. Period.
The irony is, if he had not worried so much about “building rapport” and becoming “part of her world” per se, and just focused on getting laid (since he had nothing else in common with her but the sex was awesome)…
He probably would have f@@ked her again…
And again…
And if that ran its course, possibly nailed one of her hottie friends next (he told me she liked girls too).
When deciding where any woman you meet fits in your world, first define your terms for approaching women and life.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Since enjoying damn near ridiculous levels of success, satisfaction and pleasure with the most amazing women around is something you are highly interested in, then investing in my Speed Seduction® Rapid and Total Success With Women System could be one of the best things you’ve ever done.
With what I teach you throughout the program, you’ll become the master of EVERY girl-getting / seduction situation with women, never too eager, never too aloof… equipped to constantly adjust your approach to claim your results.
Amen.
Sarge without end!