Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
It happens to beginners… AND from time to time, even to skilled Speed Seduction® masters. (VERY rarely, but it can happen to ANYONE, so don’t beat yourself up, just keep reading).
You know the feeling. You see her. She’s hot. Real hot. You’ve seen her in your dreams, and now here she is. Sitting alone. Wearing that svelte dress that was sewn just for her scintillatingly salacious body. She might as well be wearing a sign that says “Come Hither” with your name on it. It’s “go” time. Time to take that bold step forward.
But then it hits you.
First it’s like a weight in the pit of your stomach. Then it grows, moving up your solar plexus through your chest and up to the back of your throat. Your notice that your face feels a little warm as well. Your heart beat increases, and your breathing becomes more rapid. Your feet also feel heavy, almost like they’re stuck to the floor.
You know how this story ends, right? MISSION ABORTED.
Well guess what…
…That’s all about to end!
Here’s the key: view this as an opportunity to learn HOW your body produces anxiety.
The next time this happens, just relax, and rather than trying to fight it or push through it, PAY ATTENTION.
Notice where IN YOUR BODY the feelings of anxiety first arise. Where do they start? Where do they spread to? What is the quality of the feeling… is it cold? Warm? Does it run only on the surface or deep inside?
What happens to the rest of your bodily awareness when this happens? What are you doing with your breathing? Just observe.
DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE ANY OF IT!
Just observe it, objectively and carefully. Don’t try to get into action or talk to any girl. Just observe your bodily response WITHOUT JUDGMENT.
That is the first step. Do this and see if you can find your way over to her now.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. In our live, 3-day seminars we do numerous interactive exercises just like these that blast you through stuck points and get you on the smooth street-way to Sargy success. Get your Seduction ass to Chicago (just 3 weeks away), London or Copenhagen (next month) or our other cities this year. Click here for our 3-day Speed Seduction® seminars now!
Ross this is a great lesson. All PUA (or Ross Jefferies artists), should be aware of their emotions, and the necessity of accepting them when they occur. Your body knows better than you, how to react. If you don’t fight your feelings and accept them, approaching is overall easier (i.e. there is less bullshit involved). It’s an advanced skill, but a necessary one to master.
This was an interesting post!
I myself have been in the described situation countless times, my heart beating, palms sweating, legs shaking and the girl waiting…..nope, I’m not gonna do it.
But, sometimes, I have gone to talk to the girl no matter what.
I don’t come across such girls too often (and I think such a strong emotional response on my side indicates something more to her than just the stunning looks). I’ve let my anxiety beat me too many times. Far too often I find myself beating myself for not having taken the opportunity, thinking later: “What if I had approached that girl…” At some point I just couldn’t tolerate it any more, I had to do something. I figured it’s better to give it a try. If nothing else, at least my heart gets a good physical and emotional exercise. And, it puts my mind at ease, if I get the approach done.
An amazingly hot girl is probably so used to approaches that she knows how to handle the situation. And if she’s a cool girl, she’ll most likely handle it nicely. If not, well, what did I lose? If she was on a cranky mood, the chances were slim anyway. Maybe the anxiety was a sign of sensing that, go figure (literally).
Sometimes I’ve even been in and between for up to a couple of minutes and still have had the chance to do the approach(even if usually the chance is gone quickly). At times I can’t get anything sensible out of my mouth. But who knows, maybe something happens that makes it work, or you just happen to blurt the most amazing thing totally out of nowhere. Like once I just found myself saying, “you look like such a nice person, so I came to talk to you”, and the girl’s eyes immediately lit up, and the first thing she told me was that I made her day (I think it was more about the delivery – straight from the deeper mind, totally sincere, with no hidden agenda – than the words)
Maybe the girl really helps you out and makes it work.
I’ve heard that some girls think it’s sooo cute, when a shy guy comes to talk. Even if he can’t say much. What matters is that he had the guts to do that, even if he is shy, making the effort, taking the risk of embarrassing himself (think about a shy young guy with his friends in a bar), just for the sake of that girl. I do know this post was not about the shy guy, but any guy freezing because of anxiety.
Most surprisingly, when I’ve managed to approach, sometimes all the anxiety vanishes just a split second before I’m opening my mouth. That’s priceless! The sudden change in my mental state does leave me somewhat shaken, which is not ideal in terms of seduction. Having had the experience doesn’t mean I would have become immune to anxiety, but I’ve felt good about the small victory of beating my anxiety at that moment.
I never figured out I could do what Ross suggests to be the first step, so it makes me think if I have kind of tried to ride the bike with no air in the tires. First things first. A good groundwork for the path to walk up to the girl shouldn’t do any harm.