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    John Mazola May 3, 2011, 3:08 pm

    Ross this is a great lesson. All PUA (or Ross Jefferies artists), should be aware of their emotions, and the necessity of accepting them when they occur. Your body knows better than you, how to react. If you don’t fight your feelings and accept them, approaching is overall easier (i.e. there is less bullshit involved). It’s an advanced skill, but a necessary one to master.

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    - May 3, 2011, 9:45 pm

    This was an interesting post!

    I myself have been in the described situation countless times, my heart beating, palms sweating, legs shaking and the girl waiting…..nope, I’m not gonna do it.

    But, sometimes, I have gone to talk to the girl no matter what.

    I don’t come across such girls too often (and I think such a strong emotional response on my side indicates something more to her than just the stunning looks). I’ve let my anxiety beat me too many times. Far too often I find myself beating myself for not having taken the opportunity, thinking later: “What if I had approached that girl…” At some point I just couldn’t tolerate it any more, I had to do something. I figured it’s better to give it a try. If nothing else, at least my heart gets a good physical and emotional exercise. And, it puts my mind at ease, if I get the approach done.

    An amazingly hot girl is probably so used to approaches that she knows how to handle the situation. And if she’s a cool girl, she’ll most likely handle it nicely. If not, well, what did I lose? If she was on a cranky mood, the chances were slim anyway. Maybe the anxiety was a sign of sensing that, go figure (literally).

    Sometimes I’ve even been in and between for up to a couple of minutes and still have had the chance to do the approach(even if usually the chance is gone quickly). At times I can’t get anything sensible out of my mouth. But who knows, maybe something happens that makes it work, or you just happen to blurt the most amazing thing totally out of nowhere. Like once I just found myself saying, “you look like such a nice person, so I came to talk to you”, and the girl’s eyes immediately lit up, and the first thing she told me was that I made her day (I think it was more about the delivery – straight from the deeper mind, totally sincere, with no hidden agenda – than the words)

    Maybe the girl really helps you out and makes it work.

    I’ve heard that some girls think it’s sooo cute, when a shy guy comes to talk. Even if he can’t say much. What matters is that he had the guts to do that, even if he is shy, making the effort, taking the risk of embarrassing himself (think about a shy young guy with his friends in a bar), just for the sake of that girl. I do know this post was not about the shy guy, but any guy freezing because of anxiety.

    Most surprisingly, when I’ve managed to approach, sometimes all the anxiety vanishes just a split second before I’m opening my mouth. That’s priceless! The sudden change in my mental state does leave me somewhat shaken, which is not ideal in terms of seduction. Having had the experience doesn’t mean I would have become immune to anxiety, but I’ve felt good about the small victory of beating my anxiety at that moment.

    I never figured out I could do what Ross suggests to be the first step, so it makes me think if I have kind of tried to ride the bike with no air in the tires. First things first. A good groundwork for the path to walk up to the girl shouldn’t do any harm.

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