Dear Seeker of Success,
I once knew a guy who, for a short while, was so nutty, he thought he was a fish!
Really!
Because he constantly thought HE was a fish, he began to think others saw him that way.
But not ONE of them saw fins or scales when they looked at him!
Now hold that thought, and check out this “confidence” problem shared by a student:
> I have been working for confidence for over a year now and its going nowhere. I’m starting to think that no matter how much I rehearse confidence its not going to overcome this feeling of worthlessness or just not being worthy of meeting good women.
The problem here – the same problem with the guy who thought he was a fish, is having too much of an “inward focus“.
That is, this student lives un-usefully in his head, evaluating himself, instead of turning his curious attention outward toward others.
Now, what if here were to realize now that it isn’t so much about your judging himself as being worthless, but instead about him PRE-JUDGING the responses of others before giving them a chance?
I’d say he is ASSUMING/PROJECTING that others are judgmental, critical, mean and rejecting.
STOP all the programming – both positive and negative.
Even positive programming is INWARD.
Instead, take more of an outward focus that gives OTHER people a fair chance, without prejudging them, to show you that they MIGHT be kind, accepting, warm and non-judgmental-that THEY might not be engaging in the same constant comparing of you to others that YOU do to yourself.
Look: you can only feel “worthless” if you have some internal judgment about how you SHOULD be.
You then take that judgment and PROJECT it, in advance, into others, and ASSUME they will be as harsh on you as you have been on yourself.
In other words, if you think you’re a fish, you’ll think others see you as a fish without giving them a chance to see you for who you really are.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Nail Your Inner Game is the best, most systematic, fool proof, breakthrough system for untangling the confusion and “re-infection” that keeps guys stuck entirely, or stuck at a very underachieving level, and I’ve created it in a way where anyone can use it.
I’ve been seeing for the last 3 years that how people respond to me is almost entirely dependent on what I’m projecting and I still find it challenging to control. I keep finding these deep-seated drives to prove that certain presuppositions about the world are true and…time to focus outward again! Good post.
Exactly!
Amazing Ross, clear and simple.
Honored to be of service.
This is funny because I play poker and we call bad poker players “fish”. A fish only concentrates on his cards. A shark focuses on his opponents. No one wants to be a fish, especially with women. Outward focus is the key in more than one area of life. Great post PR! Student for life.
Amazing how many negative feelings exist only in the person’s own mind.
Ross , you are by far the best in this field , i am new to your products and i already start to see results taking place , compared to other BS programs that mad me lost my time and my money , and i wanted to thank you for that 🙂 , you are making my life better 😀
Wow … that fish story hit me hard for some reason.
Thank you Ross.
Great fish story Ross .. really hit home for some reason,.
Thank you for being there!
Isn’t it true that if you “act unworthy” around people long enough, they will start to view you that way, and therefore confirm your original idea that you are unworthy?
100% true