Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
A key signal that you have achieved a level of self-assurance and confidence that lets you fully show the world who you are and what you have to offer is boldly claiming your results with women without first getting absolute certainty that you’ll succeed on EVERY approach.
One source of uncertainty: does she have a boyfriend?
Second source: what if she acts single and receives what I have to give now, then LATER she suddenly sicks her boyfriend on me like a raging pit bull claiming I was bugging her?
One night, recently, a student of mine got a text from a woman he’d hooked up with recently, and at first it seemed like she was letting him know she wanted an encore, that night if he was available. BUT, after 3 or 4 back and forths, she all of a sudden comes out with this: “I want to talk to you but I can’t. My ex is riding me about me talking to you.”
He texted back: “I thought he was your EX. Once you get clear on your status, please let me know.” Then he said to himself, “Exit, stage left!” and went back to what he was doing at the time.
But, a minute later it raised a larger question in my student’s mind…
“What if that had actually been her so-called ‘ex’ writing that, and now he’s gonna come after me?”
Hey: boyfriend destroyer or no boyfriend destroyer, the next woman you Sarge might have a boyfriend, and just because kicking your ass because you approached his woman may seem childish and insecure to YOU, doesn’t mean he won’t kick your ass anyway.
Even if she did nothing but ENCOURAGE you to make a move at the time, regardless of the story she’s telling him now.
The only way to have certainty this will never happen is to take a vow of celibacy and solitude RIGHT NOW.
OR, you could take how another student handled this same situation as a guide:
Wednesday night, I called a woman I had “number closed” on Monday, who I met Monday when I was at a business meeting where she works. I asked for her. She says “speaking”. I introduced myself and said “we met on Monday at your office?” She says “yeah?”. It was 9:30 pm and I tell her I hope its not to late to call.
Her response was a cold, “I am with my boyfriend right now!” (In a tone to indicate, like, I should have known so). I say “Ok then, I’ll call back some other time.” and we hang up.
Within 30 seconds, my phone rings.
ME: Hello?
BF: Hello. Who is this?
ME: This is Rick, who is this?
BF: This is Angie’s boyfriend. I am calling to tell you that I don’t want you to call her anymore.
ME: Is this what Angie wants?
(I don’t know where I got the balls to turn this on them, but I am glad I did. At this point he puts me on hold and asks her if this is what she wants. I hear in the distance her voice saying that she doesn’t want me to call her again. He then comes back on the phone)
BF: Angie says that she doesn’t want you to call her again.
ME: Then why didn’t she just tell me that? Why did she give me her number?
BF: And what the hell are you thinking picking up somebody at work? You put her on the spot asking in front of everyone!
ME: We were ALONE when she gave me her number!
BF: (pause) You were alone?
ME: Of course! There was no one around. (raising my voice to match his) Why didn’t she tell me that she had a boyfriend? She never said that. She could have said No when I asked for the number.
BF: (backing off) Well, she’s shy.
ME: Even so, all she had to say was that she had a boyfriend. What are you thinking? Ask her! Ask her if she ever told me she had a boyfriend! Ask her now!
(Pause. I am guessing that he at this point doesn’t know where this is going. I hear him ask her, “Did you tell him that you have a boyfriend? To my happy surprise, she ADMITTED she didn’t. I think she was just as surprised by my hutzspa as I was.)
BF: Ok. She didn’t tell you.
ME: You see? She didn’t have to give me the number, she could have said, no, she could have told me that she had a boyfriend and she didn’t!
BF: Look, I am just telling you that if you plan to call her again…
ME: (cutting him off) Don’t you worry, I have no intentions of ever calling her again. This is stupid. Look you, I am not the type of guy that goes around starting trouble OK? I meant YOU no disrespect! And what she did here is disrespectful! She should’ve just said that she had a boyfriend, and she didn’t! (At this point, I am in control, but I am obviously pissed off in my tonality)
BF: (apologetically) Well, it’s OK.
ME: No it’s not! What she did is disrespectful to YOU, AND me! This is not acceptable at all.
At this point, he seems to be trying to calm me down, and by the time we get off the phone, I am still in control, and hang up after I say “bye”. In a weird sense, I got some rapport with him, and I really felt that near the end, he was actually on my side.
The study of seduction is more that just memorizing the next pick up line. It is a process that changes who you are inside and out. Three years ago, I would have freaked out, tried to figure out how I was to blame, and apologized like crazy. Today, I made no apologies for my desires as a man, and I called a woman on her bullshit. I know that I have still a ways to go. But by the universe as my witness, I will become a true Master Seducer.
Bottom line: this student has taken a HUGE step toward becoming a true Master Seducer. He had the balls to stand up to her shit and to give them BOTH a lesson. Chances are, her little game backfired on a BIG way and this boyfriend of hers will see the light and leave that trouble making cock teaser in the dust.
The best part? My student found out her little act before wasting any time or money.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. You know, Angie’s boyfriend might not be a total meathead after all. If he came to me and asked how Speed Seduction® might blast him past the stuck points that have had him, up until now, settling for these cock teases and letting them yank his chain instead of getting real results with top quality women who will treat him right, I would suggest he click here right now.
This has happned to me many times. Once I had a womens number, and some guy answered saying he was the husband, other times bf have answered. I always assume that if a women is hot, she is with SOMEBODY. Even just chatting with women and not wanting them makes bf s come out of the woodwork or getting dirty looks. This just comes with the territory, no way around it. The other problem is that some of the bfs male friends will tattle on you if they know him, buddy buddy at a bar. Women will also flirt with you too to piss off the bf and to test his manliness. Shit like that just makes me want to go monk sometimes
I like the guys response, no mincing words, he stands up for who he is.
But even if a women is attached, so fucking what? look at all the politicians and sports stars who blatantly got a fucking outside the “sanctity” of marriage, they all KNEW these guys were married.
A while ago I was talking with a hottie at a convention, and she dropped that her bf worked at his rich fathers company. I ignored it, said something like “I noticed something interesting about you” went into a pattern, got the “laugh of recognition” and she was intently focused on me. So now where is the boyfriend, may I ask?
wow pretentious lil'”nice woman”
Funny how the excuse was she is shy hahahaha.. poor guy that is her bf..any money that it was some kind of test he didnt pass from his gf.. (I could be wrong)
then again as a pathway to understanding this part of our lives, we should be understanding as to what drives these women, to avoid them or be intimate with them or if it fits the bill be their bf, not by default of course.
looking forward to your upcoming development Ross,with due respect, I do wonder if it includes topics like managing the situation with the girl, as in if trouble arises how to manage it, and even making the ‘comeback’ after you just had to cut ties with her for a few months or so.
I enjoy meeting new women and I’m curious to see your views and solutions on the girls that “want time/space”, “want to be chased” or the ones that were to for hot you then suddenly they ignore you despite showing the signs.
My solution thus far to throw them in the dustbin of my seduction history.
This made my morning teacher. Everything you tougch turns to gold. Your tools are the best teacher. Let me read that post again. Im enjoying it.
I loved how you answered, like a real man! I would probably freak out if that would have happened to me.