Dear Seeker of Success,
There’s a song by Eddie Money that goes “I wanna go back, and do it all over…but I can’t go back…”
Actually, this raises a good question. CAN you go back?
Maybe there’s a hottie from your past whose “friend zone” you got caught in, or she’s that former classmate you didn’t (at the time) have the balls to pass a “love note” to.
Maybe she’s a former co-worker you seriously had the hots for, but you didn’t want to dip your ink pen in the company well.
You don’t work there anymore and she still writes on your Facebook wall from time to time… and (per her latest profile pic, anyway) she’s still as hot as she was back when you couldn’t focus on your work for an hour after she walked by your desk, with a current “status” of “Single” to boot.
Or maybe she’s someone who rejected you, and you totally blew it (or you rejected yourself by never making a move) and….ohhh…if ONLY she could experience the new, Sargy you….what could happen?
No matter what, she’s on your mind. A lot. So the question becomes…
Can You Bring This One Back To Life…
Or Is It Time To Move On?
Well you have two choices.
Choice one, stop fretting and make your move.
Or, you can CHOOSE to change your feelings about the girl.
Actually, as I look at this, the reason you think about her is you invested lots of feeling in the girl PRIOR to even making out with her, much less f@@king her.
Now listen, and listen up: Speed Seduction® isn’t just about the words you use to f@@k chicks, although, bless Sargy, that is a big part of it. It’s also about a different understanding about how the “feelings” process works.
In this case, your “feelings” for the girl didn’t just enter into your body like an arrow shot by Cupid in your ass.
No, you SELF-HYPNOTIZED yourself into the girl.
I’ll bet dollars to dildos you did this by daydreaming about her, fantasizing about this salacious co-worker throwing herself on your desk and cooing “Hey big guy, I thought we were scheduled for a ‘staff’ meeting…here it is… (looks at watch)…. about six after nine in the morning… we have some ‘hard topics’ to cover…”
In the case of the chick you “blew it” with… you replay it in your mind, except you imagine the version where you didn’t trip on your Johnson or whatever else happened that things didn’t progress.
Please use this as a lesson on what NOT to do, first and foremost.
Remember: you never know where you stand with a woman until you make that first serious physical pass, so you don’t consider a woman a serious prospect until AFTER you’ve taken a ride on the Baloney Pony and experienced “blast-off”.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. In my Holiday Healing For Mind, Body, And Soul series, we will get you on the pathway to peace, happiness that is not conditional, and a sense of connection to others regardless of how folks respond to you.
I’ve recently reconnected with a number of women from my past, both shorter and longer term, and while there has been some experience to be gained from it, here’s the bottom line. If you’re in the process of significant life change, someone who already has long ingrained expectations of who you “are” (or are not), is generally not going to speed you down your new path and you probably don’t have so much in common anymore anyway. There are so many more fish in the sea and fresh fish is much better than the other kind!
so simple but true, iv hypnotized myself many times before. Just knowing what your doing helps tho, thanx for putting this into words
I swear ross sometimes its like you are in my head and then I get an email from you about the very issue that i am having which then completely breaks my supplication state. Thx bro i love you LOL
It’s just not worth it. When there is so much more,better out there….
This post really hits home for me. I’ve been a devoted student of Speed Seduction for about five years now, and it has made my life better in so many ways I can hardly imagine. Last year, I fell hard for a girl–a model, highly intelligent, sweet as can be to everyone in the world but me (who turned out to be something of an immature head case, even at 30. I’m 40.). Harder than anyone ever and that’s saying something. She initially sent me tons of mixed signals, then rejected me for like six months, and then about a year after we had gotten to know each other, one night threw herself at me (an opportunity I did not take because she had just spent 20 minutes driving the porcelain bus). I tried for two more months to land her in the boat, without success. In spite of the fact that I have enjoyed awesome relationships with handfuls of amazing women throughout this time, one of whom I am now sleeping with, two or three others of whom I could be, this ONE still haunts me. The Great CouldaBeen. I can look back and point to all my mistakes, the kind Ross warns against, and I can enjoy the hell out of the women I DO have in my life, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about her sometimes.
I reconnected with a gf I hadn’t seen in 30+ years (thanks, Facebook!). A lot had changed in our lives but the sex was still great. I still felt something for her, but I had to change my feelings when I realized we weren’t really compatible anymore. She understood and I’m moving on, but we will still be friends and I can call her up when the need “arises”.
Theres a good chance that any girl in your past you were crushing on you self hypnotized yourself, so why would you want to go back and connect with her when there are 34,000 other HOT girls out there waiting for you!
Hearts.