Desperate Supplication Vs. The Desire Of The Guy Who Just Goes For It

Well said and again the picture of social conditioning comes to our mind time and again how can a habit nourished from childhood change in a matter of moment huge task ahead of Speed Seduction 3.0 and later for reconditioning the belief for the price we paid by losing in life which we were ignorant load of applause to Ross who welds the torch of hope on the grounds of regaining our alpha status.

O mighty Ross! It just ocurred (sp?) to me that before your most excellent material, I had NEVER talked intimately with a woman. Yes, have had many. Many. Never begged nor supplicated, never talked much either. When I was “on” I usually knew it, made a move, and that was that.

but DAMN! I missed a lot. Now that I CAN talk, thank you, Ross, and do, every connection with anybody is more fun, although sometimes I wake up old and remembering “Wham bam thank you m’am” and how much I didn’t think in those days. Pre-Ross I just had a good time and rolled around not thinking about it much. Just get me a drink and get me laid and nobody gets hurt, you know that one.

Thanks for the on-going wake up. Still booming around some…Leslie

That nicely sums up the funk I was in last weekend and gave me a filter to see some better options today.

I don’t know if I would call it expressing my desire, but a simple, matter-of-fact expression of her desirability. Had all the non-verbals down pat and saw the chance she offered me to say something. Didn’t occur to me what to say until this evening.

Programming it in piece by peace by taking the time to journal every detail, really building it up in my mind so I’m seeing more and more in real-time and responding more and more in the moment to opportunities as they unfold.

Thanks Paul, for helping me re-adjust and fine tune my girl getting experience and helping me connect with my desires as a man. If it wasn’t for your in depth knowledge and experience in blasting through “stuck points” I don’t know where the PUA community would be right now.

I agree guys RJ is so insightful in his blogs. It’s like- an aha! moment the way he words it all for us.

One thing iv’e learned from his teachings is that despite my gender role programming I actually do now desire a connection with a woman and want to talk about connection, adventure, escape, etc.

It’s the irony of this material-learn to seduce women but learn to desire deeper things than solely superficial experiences.

A Rabbi once wrote about how when you bang someone you connect with their energy, and I don’t want to connect with a chick who has a vibe I don’t like, and a person who isn’t open to handwriting analysis, the cube, and even stuff like the Myers Briggs personality test because, Iv’e learned that I like women who like to learn about themselves. A person who isn’t into learning is gruesome to me.

Dear Ross,

I have a question which I hope you will answer. You say that focus on the emotions you want to create instead of behaviours. Now I met this German girl about 3 weeks ago in my country. We spent about 3 hours over a pizza and a drink and I didn’t really conciously do any language patterns. I only focused on the vibe I came from – understanding and vulnerable. I mean to say I got really curious about the things she had to say and told her about some experiences of my own. Then we left and she invited me out to dinner the next day saying “Please accept”. To cut a long story short the dinner didn’t happen as she had to work longer that evening at office and I was feeling feverish, so she asked me if we could reschedule it for the next day. But the dinner still didn’t happen as my phone connection was lost and I couldn’t contact her. And that evening I returned back to my city and in the meantime she texted my friend asking him to pass on her email to me. So I contacted her once I got back home and she seemed very happy to hear from me. She said that she was even thinking about coming over to my city to see me. When my cellphone was okay I texted her asking how she was doing, my phone was allright now and I was just chilling at home listening to music and watching the sunset. To which she replied “Fine, thks. Enjoy Home. regards!” I felt weird that it was such a short text and why she didnt ask me how I was or didn’t comment anything about what I said nor did she describe anything about her life. So I texted her back saying, “Are u missing home? Why such a short text of just 5 words? Was my text that boring to read”? No reply for 2 weeks. So I called after 2 weeks and did the metacomment pattern, “hey it seems like you’re not giving me any response. Did I say something to offend you? Do you want to tell me whats going on”? Apparently her mother was come from Germany to visit her and she was at a party that night and asked me to call her after 2 days but anyway we eneded up discussing the matter that day itself. So she told me that she didnt mean to be cold in her text and said that since I didnt like her reply she had nothing to say and thats why she didnt text back. She said her first text was short because there was nothing important going on. But she said she was glad I called to which I asked “Are u really glad I called?” to which she said “Yes” She said that we will definitely meet when I come to her city next or when she visits me in my city. She said she usually sends out very short texts to all her friends and maybe this is a cultural misunderstanding. She said “Now I understand you and you understand me”. And I suggested to her that replying to my text was a matter of courtesy for me and it certainly was better than saying nothing at all and even if she wasn’t able to text me she could just say something like “Really busy, will call u later or something like that”, to which she said “I dunno. I’m doing my internship and I don’t have time to text all day”! (Now I never asked her to text me all day and wonder why she said that) Anyway overall I felt it was a lukewarm response. Sure she said some nice things but she seemed to busy and eager to get back to the party and she didnt seem all that eager or grateful that I called and the last 2 minutes of our converstation I couldn’t hear anything she was saying due to the noise which other people were making besides me in the phone booth and all I heard was her saying “Bye” 2 or 3 times. Now my confusion is over this: Clearly she is probably interested only a little bit right now. To make her more interested I have to call her and actually do some patterns to get her fascinated and aroused and intrigued so that giving me what I want seems natural to her. But if I call her wouldn’t I be making the fatal mistake of pushing forward all the time? I really don’t want to be a hi tech beggar! Should I take on the attitude of “If a woman wants me a little bit she will want me a lot more if she has to work to get me?” and wait for her to call and end of story. If she calls we move forward or else just exit stage left. I’m really confused about this Ross, I’m doing the detangling also but I find when I’m out of the meditation the conusion seems to come back again after an hour or so and then again I detangle! Seems like I have to keep detangling all day. Would be grateful if you gave me some insight. Thank you.

PS I just forgot to add. This girl wants me to “call her” when I’m in her city next. She wants me to call and “invite her to a party or something in my city”. I don’t really want to be the one calling all the time!

It’s a good distinction. I’ve struggled recently with losing all desire to continue plowing myself into “learning experiences” that always seem to get me a little closer, but never quite up to the door, let alone through it.

I’ve been doing Inner Game work since this time of year 2010 and the process has become internalized and automatic. I’m close to tracking what I’m doing in real-time and the post-analysis generally follows quickly and simply. Any yet…

Reading the Tao of Badass has plugged a few holes in my foundational understanding of social dynamic, especially about body language and gender roles. It seems to be geared for the club scene, so I might not get much more out of it, but it did give me a boost about a month ago.

Following some of that more basic approach methodology, combined with I.G. work I did on a recent sarge, I worked up a prototype approach scenario yesterday morning.

A couple weeks ago I was walking into the mall and there’s a nice looking prospect just standing by the isle, stylishly dressed. As I walk by, I’m thinking, “Are they using live models in here like the olden days? – Hey wait! What woman doesn’t want to be mistaken for a model!!”

So I stop, turn back and ask if she’s waiting for someone. She says in fact yes. I just nod and stand there like I’m waiting for her to say more. She asks why. I say I thought she was a model at first. She says, “Shucks, Happy Sunday to me”.

Ok, that’s that, but I did think as I was walking away, “Are you waiting for your boyfriend or are you free to enjoy discovering something new about yourself while you wait?”

So yesterday I had that developed into a whole learning framework that didn’t even get close to “closing” but did give me a lot of natural (my own) language to use in the initial “slow the fuck down and give yourself a chance to meet a really great guy” stage.

After some Alpha-state rehearsal and then duly forgetting about it, I found myself out and about and in need of a cup of coffee, so I sat down and just played on phone until stumbling onto a article about being present in space you are in, so I look up to see one prospect leaving and decide it’s time for me to do the same.

Just as I’m standing up, second prospect walks in and another guy at the same time. That’s enough to throw me (thinking they MIGHT be together) and I proceed with my preparation to leave, but not not until he left first and she sat at table next to me.

There was still plenty of time to pretend I got a text message, sit back down and tap out a new strategy based on her not in modeling pose, but I can still casually ask if she’s waiting for someone and if not, I can just proceed to the rest of what I’d prepared.

Alas, I was already in motion and that is not the first time that sort of thing has happened. It’s like my brain is saying, ‘hey wait’ and this other part is all, “shhhhhh!!! We have to go quickly right now!!!”

I don’t feel any of the emotional muddle that I used to use the Inner Game process on. I’m crystal clear. Another part just took over for a moment and mustering massive amounts of willpower to stop it would not have been an attractive vibe.

That part has been given a name and I’m about to break open Phillip Farber’s Brain Magick and have a go at recruiting that very talented part to play for team grown-up.

I knew there was a reason I was posting online before working with it. Different way of communicating opens different circuits. Just from reading what I wrote I see something I wasn’t sure about before – i.e. how to redirect that skill of running away. We all on this blog know what, “He who hesitates,” does.

That part is all about urgent movement. It just need a new compass! Poor thing…