Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Let’s talk about a fear of something that many might consider a tad ironic.
What happens when you do such a great job of mastering your girl-getting game, that you find yourself with a woman who you think may be “The One?”
On the one hand, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? Isn’t this why you took a bold step forward and committed to mastering the skills – to achieve ultimate success with the women (or woman) you truly desire?
On the other hand… do you want to risk missing out on someone even better by settling down with this one particular woman?
Let’s hear from a student who’s actually afraid to Sarge because he just might meet that special lady:
> I’m very aware of some conflicting “forces” inside of me that
> have kept me stuck about learning Speed Seduction®. I have been
> studying the courses for some months now, but I really haven’t
> given it true attention. Here are my issues (I know some may
> sound stupid
>
> I’m afraid of falling in love for the first girl who’s beautiful
> and likes me. Because that way I’ll never meet enough girls to find
> the one I really want. And, because I wanna have choice with women, I
> wanna become really good with Speed Seduction®. And if I get stuck on
> one girl I can’t do that. So, because of that, I’m afraid of sarging
> girls because I’m afraid of getting attached. As a consequence I end
> not sarging at all.
Instead of “conflicting” forces, maybe it is more useful and accurate to think of them as “conflated”, meaning they are jumbled up and mixed together and not clearly separated out.
What we have here is a conflation of:
1. A legitimate desire to keep focused on your outcome, which is lots of experience with lots of women…..
…with…
2. A neurotic level of desire to control and predict an outcome PRIOR to acting.
The assumption in all of this is that you are better off trying to work it all out in your head, rather than go out into the world, get your hands(and heart and dick) kinda messy, experience some confusion, and LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE.
Really, this isn’t just about women, but an approach to LIFE that says, “the best way to handle uncertainty is to try to game out every scenario in your head before you take a step.”
Intellectually, that is a formula for confusion and ignorance.
So I would encourage you to work out the difference between 1 and 2. 1 is legit, but 2 isn’t helping. And information wise, it has you stalemated.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. I want you to experience firsthand what it’s like to enjoy total success and personal satisfaction with the women you’ve always wanted… just like thousands of other guys who have already mastered the teachings inside my Speed Seduction® 3.0 Course!
I think this guy is using this as an excuse to stay home on his couch. (He’s putting the cart way before the horse.) It’s only natural that when you don’t have a lot of women in your life you’ll fall for the first cute girl that gives you attention, but you gotta push through that. (As they say in sports “play through the pain!”) If you have multiple options you’ll be less likely to fall head over heels for one of them. Look at that show The Bachelor. A guy will be dating 10 really attractive women and most of the time he doesn’t know who he’s going to pick until the very last moment. You’ll see him really struggle with his choices.
I think it’s because this is a very unnatural situation for most men, to have multiple attracive women all vying for your attention. It goes to show you that the idea of the “one” is a myth. If it was real life, the guy would be tripping over his dick to have any one of these chicks. But because he has so many great options, he’s looking at things from a very different perspective. (He doesn’t turn into a door mat like most men do when they get a beautiful woman to date them.) If you have quality options in your life you won’t be so eager to fall in love and settle down with one of them, I promise. Nothing wrong with eventually falling in love, but do it on your own terms.
I fell in love once it’s overated in my opinion
Fortune, ie the practical odd of success, will only increase with real world trial and error. Its the only way to conquer your Innermost fears. Those are the fears that squish your confidence. Women smell confidence like rats smell food. Besides, you will have fun playing out and making new friends 🙂 when u think about things like that, then you will get the sucess you desire. Women love to have fun with a confident man . . Get on with it my man
To stop (2) try Ross’s techniques for staying in the moment and just staying open to what may happen. You can also tell yourself that you really don’t know what will happen (because you really don’t). You may like the chick, you may hate her, you might love the sex, you might not, she may talk your ear off and you want to go and hide, she may give the worst bj in the history of the earth (which would rule out you falling in love with her). I would imagine that you have more criteria than just “beautiful” for falling in love . . . Anyway, you can talk to yourself to stay in the moment, over your conflation and out meeting chicks.
Ross you are the best PSYCH or Anything. I wish I could get access to your 1$ site.
*Rollz eyes*
Talk about jumping the gun. Do people really have these sorts of issues? I can understand approach anxiety and fear of rejection. Surely this isn’t actually anything different, only he’s justified his insecurities as such that he’s making excuses for his relationships before he’s even in one!! What a load. He even knows this!! Otherwise why would he admit that they “sound stupid”?? This guy just needs to quit lying to himself. He’s worse than the guy who openly admits he can’t approach a girl – atleast they’re not lying to themselves and can then do something about it. But this guy’s too busy deluding himself into thinking he can get some fictional girl, but he doesn’t want to coz then he couldnt’ get some other fictional girl. All the while getting no girls.
People who are too busy making excuses for their problems inevitably never find the time to solve them.
Just be honest with yourself, get out of your own way, go out into the world and just fucking go for it!! Start living your life!! Experience and learn!!
“Those who have never made a mistake have never tried anything new!”
– Albert Einstein
WOW. falling in love and really wanting to be exclusive is like going to heaven. Nothing to fear there. What IS to be feared is letting another person make you feel guilty for breaking promises you never made. Maybe you’re just afaid of having to look her straigt in the face and tell her that she didn’t make the cut. Man, you got every right in the world to fall in love and out again. Don’t flake on yourself here. You know what you really want.
I think it would help our friend to manage her expectations from the get go. I met a woman today for coffee that had never considered that its possible to have other relationships besides the standard Boyfriend-Girlfriend. When I explained to her that that doesn’t work for me, and oh by the way it apparently doesn’t work for you either or you wouldn’t be at this point in your life, her head LITERALLY cocked to one side. It was as if she was seeing new possibilities for the first time. Then she sort of smiled at me in an “I get it!” sort of way. Now she knows two things; I’m not like every other guy out there and I can’t be easily locked into a box. A box that I didn’t make. The AFC box! Guess what? She’s more turned on than ever.
I can sympathise a little with this guy. Sometimes because you find a woman who you would previously have considered to be “out of your league” you find yourself going back to the older less confident ways as your feelings for her begin to grow.
Interesting points for I know a guy who strongly believes one should “game out every scenario in your head before you take a step” and claims this is the reason why he never gets caught up in any drama and he sounds so wisely compelling and disses me for my trial and error ways of living..
I on the other hand believe one needs 30 percent scenario gaming and 70 percent trial and error(a little of both) because one thing I notice many extremely smart ppl do is over-analyze things to the point where they take no action but the truth is that you eventually have to engage at one level or another!
Another point that just occurred to me is that even if you do find THE ONE that doesn’t mean you have to stop using these techniques because this Speed Seduction stuff will only help you to keep that ONE, it will help to maintain the necessary level of spontaneity and rapport throughout the years 😉