Dear Seeker of Success,
Ever asked a woman out, to have her say “Sure, I’ll go with you, as friends”?
For those of you who meet women on “dating” sites, have you ever messaged a woman for the very first time, only to have her respond (without any conversation with you): “I’ll let you know upfront that I’m not interested, but we can talk as friends.”
Recently, a student of mine asked a woman, “I have two tickets to the game this weekend. If I were to ask you to be my date, what would your response be?”
Her response, “I would accept, just as friends though.”
Wha…Wha…WHAT? Huh?
Run That By Me Again?
So how did this potential ride on the baloney pony turn into a “friendly” “date”?
What did she mean when she said “… just as friends?”
It all starts with that word… the “D” word… date.
As Speed Seducers, don’t we want to AVOID all the “dating” terminology and thought patterns?
All the auto-pilot responses that “dating” triggers in her mind?
Rather than ask what she “means” I would ask:
What Thought Process Did It Spark Inside Her?
What autopilot ways of thinking went off in her head in response to “date”?
Probably she thought,
“Oh oh…date means he EXPECTS I’ll f@@k him. Well, I WANT to f@@k him, I HOPE I f@@k him, but I don’t want to feel PRESSURED to f@@k him. Am I really ready to f@@k ANYONE? Jeremy hurt me so bad last time. Why are men such jerks? I wonder what Tanya will think…I should text her right now and get HER opinion. Oh wait a minute, she just went to visit her boyfriend in rehab after he beat her up and got arrested by the cops. That cop who is always at Starbucks in the morning is hot. I bet he f@@ks good. Dad said never to date a cop, I bet it would be fun…”
Etc etc etc.
Are you getting my point?
Are you catching my drift?
Stop playing dumb and stop being afraid to take a bold step forward. Breathe into the image of you who GETS IT and DOES IT.
And then DO IT.
With her.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Like how I get right to the bottom of it and lay it out there? Want to see me do that 175+ times on video and hear me do it 48 times on recorded audio?
Crack open the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection and all of that plus more is yours.
Including my bonus course, “From Buddy To Bedmate” with the formula that gets you out of the “friend” zone once and for all.
GO for it!
I would of framed it differently. I would of said you know what you are a great lady, you deserve to spend some time with me and see what you’re missing. I agree with rj to stay away from that checklist part of her mind.
Keep in mind, every situation with every woman is a unique situation. There are cases where your phraseology will work perfectly. Calibration and vibe my friend, calibration and vibe.
Well, I pretty much avoid any kind of future plans. I can’t think of a single time in the last decade that a woman I was genuinely interested in kept plans more than 24 hours into the future – regardless of how I framed it.
Then again, I’ve never had much problem finding dates when I’ve had any kind of “social proof” whatsoever and the only issues I used have around sex were 100% due to having deeply internalized religious teachings.
Nowadays my biggest challenge is conserving enough energy to get out there and deal with how receptive they can actually be.
Reading your share, I am reminded of this: “How many women will say yes, once you actually ask!”
What if you said something like “OK good because I’m so tired of women chasing me all the time, I think going as friends would be refreshing for me.”
Or some way of trying to deny her so she would want it.
Every situation with every woman is unique and different. Calibration and vibe.
I do like how you “switch the game” with the phrase you have created. Good luck, let us know how it plays out.
Sometimes, just being casual about it and accepting the “just friends” and then actually getting together and doing the right things can change. Most important however I feel is to not get freaked out about the “friend” word. This is something I have observed in the community. Its almost as if there is a stigma attached to it, when there is none really! I read a book once where there was this guy and girl who had met and things had progressed quite well. They made good conversation and were in a resturant when the waiter asked them, if they were a couple. Without missing a beat the woman said, “No we are just friends”. The guy agreed too (very casually) and yet on the ride back home they made out in the taxi and then when the woman was dropped she, ïmagined the guy fucking her and caem quickly”. While this was fiction, I do think it can happen for real too. Composure is the key I suppose.
Like, when people shut down the moment the hear the “F” word. It’s not a closing statement, just a reaction to the moment. The world rotates clear round daily.
Excellent share – thank you!