Dear Seeker of Success,
Perhaps you’ve have heard me say a few very important things about the words “dating” and “friendship.”
Such as:
“Dating” is what you do with a woman AFTER you have slept with her.
Granted, when you’re in the “friend zone” you sometimes have what I call the “insider’s advantage” to Sarge your way right into her bed.
But the last thing you want to do is get F-bombs (as in, “we can talk as fr–n-s”) dropped on you by the women you want to get with.
I’m reminded of a note I got from a student in one of my discussion groups a few years back.
He said that, despite all of this, he had come to the “key realization” that it’s important to be a friend.
“Friends first” were his words.
According to this student, if he went in trying to be Don Juan, with the smoothest lines and the strongest male energy in the room, he’d blow them out (as in burn them out).
Rather, he wanted the woman to feel absolutely comfortable and safe talking to him about anything, and also for him to feel the same way about her.
My response?
No. NO. N-O!
The alternatives are NOT “strongest male energy in the place” and “blowing them out” OR this “friends first” crap.
Remember that one of the cornerstones of Speed Seduction® is using what she gives you in terms of the vibe she puts out there.
CALIBRATE to the woman in front of you.
You don’t need to blow ANYONE out if you CALIBRATE, use THEIR responses, etc.
Now, I understand gathering enough information about her and how sometimes you need a couple of meetings to get her in the sack.
That’s still Speed Seduction® in my book as long as you’re not playing the mastur-waiting game.
You know:
- Mastur-wait before calling her
- Mastur-wait before asking her out again
- Mastur-wait until Date No. 3 or 6 or 8 before hitting the mattress with her
- Etc. etc. etc. ad nauseate-um.
But don’t label it “FRIENDS”. THAT IS DANGEROUS AND DESTRUCTIVE.
And furthermore, when you do this
You Are Making HER Reluctance
(If She Even Has Any)
Into YOUR Reluctance.
Let me translate: when YOU don’t know how to feel comfortable patterning this girl, you project THIS discomfort onto her, rather than embracing the skills you need to learn.
You fall back on old ways (this whole “friends first” business).
What did that Rabbi say?
Some of the seeds fell on bad ground, and immediately the birds of the air came and ate them.
Now, I have more on this “friends first” topic, but I’ll save it for another day.
That day cometh soon, so keep your antennae and your browsers tuned into RJU.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Experienced Speed Seducers know how to turn 20 minute insta-date into hours of hot sex.
(You’ll never have to go on a date again, unless it’s what YOU want.)
Want to know what they use to make this happen?
This is a problem that lot of people, including me, have D: .
It will be great if you post more on this topic!
Your biggest fan. 😀
@Ektor
You’ll be glad to know there’s more coming in a post that’s going up soon.
Can you make it to London on September 8th and 9th?
G’day Ross,
I have a couple of lady friends that I want to enjoy and so I don’t act like a friend- for instance I said to one lady about 8 months( I only see this lady once a month): “ You know when I saw you with that new dress on and the way you were smiling I just knew that I was going to have a naughty dream about you tonight — how silly of me” And the next time I saw her I said – I had a really naughty dream about you – how silly of me but that was OK because as you think about it your realise it was only in your mind.
Her response was : you are a really worry.
I said: Yes it is a worry when you realise that you are desired and you have the feeling of being desired by a guy you see.
Now remember I am a friend in her mind and she knocks down every pattern or suggestion I have put to her for months — now advance a couple of months in which I did not pay her any attention except to smile at her.
I saw this lady on Saturday (21 May 2011) and I said to her: Wow that a new top and it really suits you and you know that I like what’s inside the dress and….. seeing you just make me want to starting kissing and licking you at the back of your neck all the way down to your…..
Her response: That sound like so much fun.
What I have found is that you never know when a pattern will begin to affect women – sometime straight away sometimes later. And I have learn to be careful in the application of patterns and language as I realise that:— some women you just do not want to sleep with now that you have choice — how silly of me to screen and reject women that want to sleep with me because I have found by using your training and developing my skills there can be no lady friends –
-and the choice of lady friends is now yours because no one woman can make that decision for you again —-after you develop your skills because of Ross’s Training.
See Ya
Grey
@Grey Amen, brother. How about sending me a testimonial about how you’ve used SS?
send to: ross@seduction.com
I’d be honored to add it to the Wall of Proof if you’d let me.
RJ
what when she labels it friends by mid first date
@Pedro Why are you still relying on “dates” to seduce women? Would you take a row boat across the ocean to get from Europe to the USA?
Sure, you can wait to get the insider info while trying to be friends, meantime, someone else is getting inside of her. How do I know? I no longer have relationships (long sad story) I now tell women straight out that I am on the catch and release program, I see them for a while strictly for sex, sure we have dates but always culminating in sex, most of them are looking for a man they can have a relationship with and do go on dates, often with NICE guys who befriend them first, meantime i am taking care of business in the bed.
Thanks Ross, yes, you don’t need to get them into the sack right this second…but you need to ALWAYS be planting seeds, and be willing to walk away.
Think about it this way, yes you are talking with a beautiful woman that you just met, you need to be building up rapport and be putting out the “vibe” of where you want things to go consistently. I can understand how you let the pressure off, and then take it even higher, but it’s up to you to set the outcome you desire.
Just my thoughts. Thanks again Ross!