Dear Seeker of Success,
Not too long ago, I received the following.
My answers to this guy’s challenges could be crucial for your success with women, so read on to the end.
Here is his post:
Ok I have a bit of a problem here that’s similar to this I guess.
I met a woman online and we went out and there WAS chemistry. I could have kissed her many times but I didn’t have the balls to. We parted ways and that was that. Whatever we had ended there.
My problem is that for some reason whenever I see this woman negative feelings stir up inside of me. I feel like I’m not good enough anymore, that I’m a failure, a loser. Seeing her reminds me of how I failed, reminds me of how I was a chump around her. I also see how she’s changed and I’ve stayed the same. The feeling is hard to describe.
It’s something that’s holding me back and I have no idea what to do. Meditation and bringing myself into the moment works but whenever I bump into her again the negative feelings stir up. If anyone can help a brother out it would be really appreciated, I figure this is the only place I can turn to for solid advice.
Ok. RJ here again.
The first problem this guy has is that he has the wrong orientation to understanding what happened.
He’s so focused on what he did wrong, or what he left out, that he is not paying attention to what he did right.
Let me make a point that is very important to your success with women: in an area of life that has been very frustrating and difficult…..
It Takes Training To Recognize Progress!
Of course it is important to see where you need to improve.
It is equally important to see what you are doing correctly.
His second problem is even more serious: he views the “chemistry” between him and this woman to be an “event” that happened, rather than a result of a skill set which he can repeat over and over again, whenever he wishes.
Listen: we don’t obsess over losing that which we can easily recreate.
We only obsess over losing that which is rare (or perceived as being so).
So his real problem is he is relying on “luck” rather than ability.
Luck Is Rare And Undependable.
Skill Is Repeatable As Long As
You Choose To Invest In It.
Hope this makes sense, and that this guy reads this answer and gets it.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Want the skills to meet women anytime, anywhere, and use your language and vibe to get them interested, attracted, aroused and ready, with NO guess work ever? Here’s how.
Just what I needed to hear, thanks!!
Glad to help!
It is very interesting to see yourself growing up from one set of beliefs to a different, more useful, when you stop and see the patterns that once were ingrained deeply are just thoughts that you can laugh and smile about, just like clouds passing as they often teach about meditation.
Very interesting!