Dear Seeker of Success,
Has anyone ever offered to “hook you up” with a friend of theirs?
Have you ever asked someone to do this for you?
A student of mine’s cousin (let’s call her Bianca) wanted to “hook him up” with a “cute” co-worker of hers (we’ll call her… you guessed it… Debbie).
Bianca’s idea was this: “You and a couple of your friends come out and hang out with us one night, and you and Debbie can meet.”
Internally he knew that whole scene would zap his Sargy energy.
He’d be in a situational disadvantage with Debbie, since she’d feel under the microscope and would be putting up extra resistance.
In declining the offer, he told his cousin Bianca “I would not be comfortable in this scenario and this is just not how I meet women. I won’t put Debbie in this situation either.”
Bianca snorted and said, “Gee, too bad, how the hell do you expect to find a girlfriend? Your loss.”
But the way Bianca wanted to “hook him up” with Debbie was uncomfortable for him.
So if my student knew who Debbie was and thought she was hot and might be worth a shot, what would be a better way than having Bianca explicitly “hook him up” with her?
What could YOU do?
I would actually say that you have to
Add Some Value To Their Lives
If You Expect Them To Add Value To Yours
(eg, Introduce You To Women)
For example, let’s say you are friendly with the woman who sits next to you at work, and she is pretty damn hot.
Treat her like a friend, because you like her as a person, genuinely.
She’s a good person and you are friendly and are cool with and to each other.
(Since you’re smart enough to never, never, NEVER NEVER NEVER Sarge a co-worker, you won’t move it past that because you “don’t shit where you eat.”)
Anyway, you know she has cool, HOT female friends (you’ve seen her Facebook page); and sooner or later she might introduce you around to her social circle as a genuinely cool guy, if you know her well enough to pal around at the Friday after-work happy hour.
How Do You Provide This Value?
Don’t expect her to “hook you up”.
Instead, aim at having her introduce you/include you in her social circle – WITHOUT ANY EXPLICIT EXPECTATION OF ANYONE “HOOKING UP” (this is key).
Once she does, treat her social circle like a National Park.
You don’t go into Yellowstone and shoot the deer, dump beer cans in the river, piss on the trees, etc. etc.
Treat her friends well, don’t piss in the pool or you won’t be invited back.
Do it right, and her friends will talk about how great you are in bed and you’ll be in hot demand.
Get it?
You can be strong, hot, challenging, fun, outrageous and STILL respect the vaginal environment.
Play responsibly.
Replace and replenish as you go.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Once you meet her friends, it isn’t just suggestive language that will get them joining you on the Cape Carnal-Veral Shuttle.
It’s also the clever way in which it’s structured to seem like a perfectly ordinary conversation!
Nicely done. One of the goals has got to be to expand the hunting territory and include more targets, and what she tossed him was the key to joining a circle of targets and a seat in the blind.
And instead of being assigned directly to ONE chosen, to either stay put forever or to strike out and be discarded, he went for the “Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in…” because he just wants to join the group, look them over…and like the old Bull in the joke, take his time and fuck them ALL, not just one. Especially an assigned one.
Just had a friend complain to me about the local meet market, and I had to tell him about how the hotties there DON’T wait for him to have the third drink and toke and show up at 10…they’ve hooked up and gone home ‘way before nine, because they are smarter about their careers than he is about his…
Thanks again. You already have satraps who tell you how great you are, but none of them really know great, and I do, so…you’re pretty great. All the best, Yr Old Uncle leslie (‘slim’, because I’m NOT! but I got outside with the escrima sticks today. I’ll live… hope all’s well with you, and have you gotten any fishing in lately?)
Leslie, that’s the KEY difference. Instead of Bianca saying “I’d love you to meet Debbie”, Bianca should have said “Hey Leslie, a group of us are going to be at the carnival. Sandra, Nadia, Rachel, Ayesha, and Debbie. Want to meet us there?”
What I didn’t address in my article, because I’m not writing a book here, was “What if Bianca had thought of hooking Debbie up with Leslie, but it turns out Leslie actually hit it off with Rachel?”
Started a new job 2 years ago that was the first time in 15 years as a computer programmer working around a fair number of really attractive women. Kind of a major adjustment. I like the idea of, “Treat her like a friend, because you like her as a person, genuinely. She’s a good person and you are friendly and are cool with and to each other.” Just starting to figure that out lately. Good post. Good timing. Nice addition to my cognition (couldn’t help it).
Never dip your pen in the company inkwell.
Never shit where you eat.
Never pick up your meat the same place where you earn your bread.
If your co-worker is hot, she probably has hot friends who AREN’T your co-workers.
Win, win, win.
Good article. So many in the pickup community are so against the whole friendship thing. Some girls just are better off as friends, and can introduce you to her friends and provide tremendous social proof.
It’s not about any ONE woman.
It’s about honing and mastering the skills so you can get MANY women until you find the one(s) you truly desire, want to be with, and vice-versa.
If there are 5 hot women in a group, one is my co-worker but the other four aren’t…. that’s still four women for me. I call that a win.
Οr maybe he likes bowling.? Lee continueⅾ.
?I hesard somebody say that oncе you hear thunder, that
means that God is bowling in heaven. I guess he iis really
ɡood at it.
If you like bowling, and Debbie likes bowling, you have something in common.