Dear Seeker of Success,
Once you’ve mastered even the tiniest portion of my material, getting women into bed will become relatively easy.
But what about when you get so good at it, it’s time to think about selection instead of seduction?
(By the way, one of the paradoxical principles of success with women is this: the more selective a man is, the greater the selection of women he’ll enjoy.)
I’ve got some quick tips today about how to
Tell If She Is Truly Girlfriend Material
As Opposed To Being A Bedwarmer
Or F-Buddy
Here are the things I look for:
1. Does she make your well being a priority?
In other words, does she show in her behavior that your happiness matters?
2. Is she a giver?
When you walk in the door from a long day and you are obviously tired, does she immediately begin to try to get your attention? Or does she come over and give you a shoulder rub (or BJ), snuggle up and rub your neck, etc etc?
3. Can she express her upset without making it about name calling?
It’s important to find a woman who can share what’s going on with how she feels, without her using personal attacks, name calling or make it about who you are as a person.
For example, there’s a big difference between her saying, “You are such an inconsiderate jerk!” and saying, “Hey….I really don’t like what you just did. I just felt ignored when you did that.”
4. Does she have a life/goals/passions outside of being with you?
Any woman who has her shit together won’t make her relationship with you the only thing going on in her life. Sure; she might make it top priority. But does she have other things that make her happy?
5. Does she finish what she starts?
Story: the very best sex of my life(and I’ve had lots of sex) was with a drop dead Danish woman.
I mean, the sex was so good, I could go 2 or 3 days without sleeping and still get it up multiple times.
In a word: it was insane.
However, this lady never finished what she started.
Ever.
As soon as something came up with one of her personal goals that sidetracked her, she just gave up and blamed someone else or the circumstances.
This went to such ridiculous extremes that she flunked her driver’s license test and rather than re-take it, she just let it go.
Oh yes – she was always broke because she quit ever job she ever took.
Look: everyone has setbacks, struggles and hardships.
Your woman will too.
But if she can’t keep moving forward SHE WILL HOLD YOU BACK.
I’d super-appreciate your feedback on this post.
So please comment below.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Should you find yourself deciding now is the time to take things to a new level, the “Buddy To Bedmate” course inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection can get you there much faster than anything you’ve seen up until now.
Being one of your former students and with a hot babe for the past year…I’m happy to see a post that’s focused on relationships…there’s a bit of a divide in your audience, Paul, between those who are looking and those that have found. Personally, I’d love to see more stuff on what to do when you’ve already found someone and in a relationship…
@S –
We’ve been discussing the possibility of a specific curriculum for guys already in relationships who want to apply Speed Seduction toward strengthening their existing relationship. Not sure if or when. Typically when folks ask this question I suggest the Secrets of Hyper-Response and Core Attraction program – elements like SRT, Participation Illusion, Constructs, Apposition of Opposites, and more.
Amen.
@Zara
Sarge without end!
Cool Post!
Thanks @Adi!
Any of this sound familiar?
You are so right! Men must select wisely to avoid pain and gain real happiness. It is easier for them to chose if they are empowered. Speed Seduction empowers men to attract many more women than the average male. The 5 questions are a good filter for men who want to use their attraction skills beyond the pure bodily experience.
@Henry
EXACTLY. Part of the “Speed” that “Speed Seduction” offers is helping men who are seeking an LTR or life partner cut through the mess and the maze, and find her faster!
You’ve perfectly described the last woman I ‘selected’. No idea how I was so naive in the first place.
I’m a long time SS customer/follower. I’ve been to your seminars and bought your products. I feel like finding and attracting women isn’t even a concern anymore… but making a decent, long-lasting relationship work, that’s proved to be a lot more difficult than I’d ever imagined. I’m convinced that this has more to do with selection than any lack of will to make things work, but I’m getting to the point where I’m doubting the whole monogamous relationship paradigm.
What do I really want? Who do I really want it with? Why?
Ross – have you given up on monogamy too?
@Anon
No, I have not given up. I think it’s a beautiful thing when it’s with a great woman you truly want to be with in every way.
Why did you not help your Danish girlfriend overcome her struggles, using your NLP skills?
Anon, it’s not my job to be someone’s therapist. And she didn’t just have blocks. It was a full blown personality disorder.
RJ
Thank you so much for your response. You have no idea how much I continue to appreciate your influence over the years.
You are welcome, Anon. You have no idea how much I continue to appreciate the honor of changing lives.
When the time comes that they click out my lights and my life passes before my eyes, I hope those memories of all I have helped flash the brightest.
RJ
Hey Ross,
These points are spot on, and obviously the girls who are able to make this happen are high self-esteem daddy’s girls, raised in a 2-parent loving, nurturing environment. I would add two other very important components to this list:
1. That the girl conducts herself as a lady when out with her girlfriends, so as not to draw attention, nor flirt with other guys, no matter what her other bffs do (if they happen to want to engage in let’s say, a “one night stand”, she would quickly excuse herself, and make her way home to her guy), or in the presence of his male buds, whether at home with the guys all watching a sporting event, or out on a couple’s date;
2. Would cease all contact with any other male friends she may have previously interacted with (I’m referring to a platonic, non-sexual relationship).
I personally, do not believe in men and women being “just friends” – as there will always be sexual tension between the opposite sexes as long as a man has a penis, and a woman a vagina.
My ex-wife was really great with this when we got married – she had maybe one good male friend, as well as an ex-boyfriend who she stopped all communication with, and told them that if they did call for whatever reason, that they would have to speak with me (we’re exes because I was immature at the time, and didn’t truly appreciate her value – I have since matured, but i digress) …
This trust in, and from your woman is astronomical, as this is something that is extremely rare these days. I believe a truly empowering relationship MUST consist of: 1. Honesty, 2. Integrity, 3. Loyalty, 4. Sincerity, and 5. Trustworthiness for it to THRIVE and PROSPER!
Great article ROSS!
Blessings Always,
Gene M.
@Gene
Thanks for the kind words!
I’d be cautious about expecting her to cut off her male friends, regardless of status or history, though, which is sort of how I read this. Would you let her make you cut off all communication with any friend of yours just because that friend has a vagina?
It’s a matter of trust.
Greetings Ross,
Yes, trust is the bottom-line foundation for any successful relationship, and just to clarify, my ex-wife did remain in contact with her good male friend (not her ex-boyfriend, though), and simply thought it best that he contact me first, as the male, and leader in our home. So as not to be hypocritical, I did the same with a good female friend of mine, and had her contact my wife first, before speaking to me. This did allow others to respect our relationship a great deal.
We’ve all either seen, heard, or read about (and are constantly surrounded by) stories where the husband and wife are going through some issues in their relationship, and “lean” on an opposite-sexed friend to get “advice” from, the two grow closer, and the next thing you know, they are involved in a full-blown affair – not intentionally meaning for this to happen.
Just to let you know, my ex-wife and I remained good friends, however if she were to get involved or even marry another chap, and wanted me to contact her new bloke first, before speaking to her, or to even cease contact altogether, I would respect that.
Hope I was able to clarify this better.
Good Stuff Ross!
Joy Abound,
Gene M.
Yes, that adds dimension and clarity. And stories abound of the one half of the couple “leaning on” a friend of the opposite gender during tough times in the relationship and then…… good point.
Excellent post. You pulled out five great qualities everyone should be looking for in a partner!
Experience is a GREAT teacher.
Hey RJ ,
Not sure if u remember me I was your student nicknamed dibz, sailor in the Navy..
I really enjoyed this article especially since I am in a serious relationship..I was your student during the Speed Seduction 3.0 timeframe and used those tools to enjoy my 20s and experience about 70 women… However I have been in a serious relationship, over the last year…And she fit evergthing you described above….I think that if u made a course for people trying to strengthen their relationships it would fit well with guys like myself who are trying to seduce the same woman
P.s. I have used ALL of teaching you taught me to bring success in every aspect of my life… Enjoying women and women enjoying me…Was just the tip of the iceberg
Your student
Dibz
Of course I remember you Dibz. Glad you are alive and kicking and that you’ve found love.
I don’t know more than boo about relationships and don’t teach what I don’t know.
RJ