“I Couldn’t Look In The Mirror”

Hey RJ

Thank you for your last two posts. As a person who has had a life long struggle with weight I still have some of that negative image self talk go on in my head. Still have to watch out for those thoughts that say, ‘she’s a nine, and I am older and fat, why would she want to be with me.’ And yet, amazingly, while I still grow in speed seduction, it fascinates me how many women don’t care about how big my body is, compared to how I can make them feel, and the energies that I give off. And I now observe, how many guys are with ‘big’ women, and I know a few who specifically choose and are attracted to bigger women tho they could easily make other choices, and I now believe (my new map of the world) that first there are some women who prefer bigger men, and that most women care less about how a man looks as how they make them feel.

double t

Thank you Ross for your authenticity.

Xavier

video cuts off abruptly at perhaps 1 minute or 2.

I get this to some extent.In spite of major progress, I still struggle with the looks issue, every time I look around, the women I like are 95% of the time with taller, bigger guys. It seems like my skills only work with 4s and 5s. It happened the other day, in fact I used SRT for the first time successfully and she was very into me, but I often doubt it will work with more attractive women. looking forward to the 20th…

every post you make help me so much in going on life that you can’t imagine.

this in particular.

Thanks Ross. Maybe a day i will see you…

Thanks for being so honest Ross. I feel this way about myself from time to time. I can be pretty difficult, but I still have to remind myself that if I’m not happy with me for me, then who else could be. I’m just a beginner at ss by the way and having a little difficulty with just trying to figure out where to start.

@Ross. I completely hear you and while I have not seen them I am aware that they’re hot and of course, I have seen how you look on video many, many times, it’s one of the reasons I am a fan of SS. I get it intellectually, have tried some of your inner game techniques but can’t seem to get unstuck. It’s part of the reason this is the first seminar about success with women in the community I am attending in a few weeks. Thanks

I d have loved to hear the full speech. It really is getting to me. You ve been really sincere there. I m really into that approach. Watch some of your old tapes on youtube where you are totally coming across as an asshole – a really competent asshole, yet an asshole. I m more into the approach of this video. And although I got no chance of hearing the full message I am getting it I guess and it is so true since I and maybe everyone who started off with “pick up” was put through this. You gotta be this and that and act like this and that. Achieving all this is very difficult when having issues anyway. Being the big bad alpha dog, the sophisticated charmer… being all that when having some sort of inner issues is almost impossible. It is just more pressure. Thats the wrong way. It was definitely more pressure for me before I came across You. SS offers a way of reaching goals within a frame work that bypasses all the shitty rules that our society is based on. And knowing that there is SS really is giving me a moment of relieve now after I watched a recap of the royal wedding. I ve really thought I was immune to this whole romantic shit but… It is really getting to me. The whole ceremony and how happy they looked the whole time. And I mean Kate looked so fucking beautiful. Yes, I m saying beautiful – not hot or sexy or whatever term there is for describing a “ordinary hot chick”. She was above that. Just beautiful… damn I m totally wasted. Now without SS I maybe would have just jumped out of the fucking window thinking that without being an upper class posh dude I d be never ever getting a chance of getting a woman like that but with SS… maybe not Kate – and that fact alone right now is totally fucking me up – but at least SS is giving me a kind of a security blanket and some kind of relieve now knowing that with SS anything is possible – except Kate. fuck! : (

I ve had this bad feeling inside when I woke up. Lots of stuff was rushing through my mind and it struck me right in the grocery store that this bad feeling was among other things caused by that stuff that I posted on your blog yesterday.

“Watch some of your old tapes on youtube where you are totally coming across as an asshole – a really competent asshole, yet an asshole.”

I suddenly just remembered that I ve wrote something like that. Sorry for posting this line. I m feeling bad about it. I m the asshole here for coming up with stupid shit like that after getting so much out of your teachings. I m feeling shady right now – and thats just right. I apologize. Sorry.

Right now my post from yesterday says it is still awaiting moderation. So if there is a chance of just getting rid of it then maybe thats the best thing to do. Same is true for that post. Thanks and Sorry, Markus

Due to a tight time schedule I unfortunately mostly are just getting the chance of checking out your blog over the weekend anyway – so the fact that I m posting this today is due to time constraints mainly – yet I felt like not even checking this particular blog entry again.

And that is only because of the unpleasant feeling I was getting from the idea of how you might have reacted to what I ve said.

I m totally aware of the fact that this LOGICALLY is totally pathetic. We ve never met each other, maybe never will. And although I maybe am having more of a clue of you, than you of me – since you are putting yourself out there to the world – we simply are somewhat strangers to each other communicating via the internet while I m even totally anonymous. In addition to this the actual consequences of however you would have actually reacted, actually are zero to my real life – absolutely zero. YET how you might have reacted to a simple actually meaningless blog post somewhat gave me feelings that I interpreted as being totally unpleasant.

There is zero logic behind those feelings since as I said the consequences to my real life are zero no matter how you d have reacted. Yet the feelings are there. They are real no matter what. And the thing is, it somehow felt like the exact fear/ anxiety I was/ am having before approaching a girl. The unknown… it is fucking people up. As you once said… Becoming fine with the unknown is more than just a break through in approaching girls.

Of course very true what you actually said.

Playing around with various egos surly is an enriching experience while at the same time being true to ones real self and accepting the way one already is.

And looking back to last week I definitely saw my programming. It surly somewhat is a societal programming but underneath that there also is a genetic programming. And thats where it is getting hard. Behind the obvious societal spectacle of a prince and princess marrying in a unique setting lies so much more.

Speaking about genetics in the area of “pick up” always runs the risk of sounding Mystery Method who surly is/ was putting some emphasis on that. On the other hand he was just echoing general science so skipping that part just because he was talking about it means skipping well known facts which is senseless thus I m using the genetic approach.

What I m saying is that princess Kate is just a symbol for the best girl in the tribe. Getting the best girl in the tribe is the best way of securing having the best children and thus securing survival. And thats what my genetics wanted from me. Obviously getting her is impossible. But thats logical thinking. Urges are anything but logic. And what is happening if there are two kinds of thoughts at the same time somewhat pulling into different directions I ve learned from you.

The love William & Kate have been displaying is the love anyone of us truly is seeking – yes because Hollywood tells us so but so does our genetics. Love is a very good foundation for securing survival. Thats genetics. Hollywood is just echoing that what is within us anyway. If they were selling us shit like real shit/ poo/ excrements as being something pleasant and desirable they were having slim to zero success. They just echoing our genetics.

And genetic programming is making us wanting someone even more when looking into a face that somewhat resembles our own face the most. Yes, we as men are always attracted to big tits, a J Lo ass and a cute face in general but what I ve been getting out of the literature I ve been reading is that man and woman are even more attracted to faces that are resembling their own ones. (Lots of man and woman in a relationship are having the same kind of facial shape.) So thats another point where my genetic programming forced me going crazy last week.

Of course there is more to life than just genetics. It s said that looking into people s eyes means looking into their soul… I definitely loved looking into Kates eyes. More than I ve been enjoying looking into other girls eyes… But whatever that is becoming just pure metaphysics now which surly is even less tangible than the genetic aspect of our programming.

Speaking of this whole genetic programming… is it having any meaning once it had been recognized? Is it having any meaning like when actually being out in the field once we are grasping its meaning? If I m getting your right you are saying no. And I guess thats true. Once it had been recognized its influence when actually sarging is neglectable. It maybe is still there but the actual influence when being in the field is relatively slim once the programming had been recognized as what it is. I mean despite feeling pretty bad about that whole wedding thing my SS performance still was somewhat okay last week although I was feeling that strange urge of wanting the lovely princess.

P. S. I m based in Germany being all over Western Europe a lot and less frequently to the US too – mainly East Coast then.

I can actually relate, I went through a period in my life where I avoided mirrors and didn’t even wash myself because of that, I went through a time where I doubted my own mental health, my sanity.
I used to be ashamed that I even existed and spent my teens and early 20s trying to escape reality with videogames and later pickup forums.
I’m still struggling with some of my old habits.

Your help made a difference for me, while I am not where I want to be at the moment I still am further along than where I was.

[…] post: “I Couldn’t Look In The Mirror” No […]

Looks have nothing to do with it. I’m six two and lean muscular and fit, playing soccer three times a week….and I can remember the fear coming over me in waves when I even dared to imagine talking to an attractive women.

now i’m merely curious about her as a person and let her carry her own stuff.

And by the way Ross, I saw your Dr.Phil interview and was very surprised to see Dr.Phil smooth up to the other two guys, even though they were clearly rapists, and dis you to the point where the women were ready to attack you too.
it is a rare woman that can get the SS methods and see them as helping men…but of course they themselves want to intimidate any way they can, and don’t want a man with choices and flexibility.

Ross,
At what age did you start to really do well with women?

I’m hitting 30, hate myself, and feel like giving up. Like an old guy no fine 22 y/o wants. I find younger chicks annoy me with their naive, ignorant puppy-like ways but, a hot 22 y/o is something I never had in college and why I’m drawn to them. I respect you being so open and public about your own emotional turmoil-that’s bold and admirable. I loved you on Dr. Phil-I said this dude is a rockstar, hes making the environment frame up to his perception rather than caving into their social programming-Savoy and them were lame ass, bovine brains.

Do I need to know patterns word for word?

Thanks.

“To me, it’s about flexibility: if you want to, as a fun experiment, take on the role of the charmer or the bad boy, as a fun romp, go for it. But to make that part of who you are or, even worse, to say that it’s required to do well with women-well, that is where it gets destructive.”

That seems to address some of my more recent awareness. I’ve noticed that when I “get in the mood” to go out sarging – i.e. get myself in a state of mind that is not my usual self and takes a lot of energy to maintain, women are basically just out to destroy it, but having done a lot of the work cleaning up the old garbage, it’s when I’m just out minding my own business that the opportunites seems to be everwhere and I’m begining to interact from that place, even when I’m not “In State.”

Scary. This reminds me of exactly where I was at. I would not look at myself in the mirror, ever. I realize how I turned inward, as was mentioned in the video, and how much psychological waste and introversion this causes…..that crap is still with me. I was even at a point where I was afraid to go to the mall or wherever with friends due to my appearance. 6-4 and 150 pounds tops! It really does mess with the head when all your friends are out meeting women and getting laid and your at laying there confused.

Alistar,
I thought RJ really handled Dr. Phil well. Dr. Phil was trying to pin RJ into a corner and he flipped the conversation on them all, and had them looking at it through RJ’s lens not those pop culture programmed jerks. Dr. Phil is so Southern-the accent is tacky, and reaks of ignorance, ass backwardness, repression, and misery. I’m from this thing called the South and believe me it sucks. I don’t like the North either. Out West away from all these jerks with all this baggage to a new frontier with Libertarian values instead of the Republi-Demo tard way of viewing things on the East Coast. There’s my rant-RJ could have a better talk show than Bubba Ray Goy Moron Phil.

Hi Ross,

I saw myself in the mirror once…!

[EXIT STAGE LEFT]

THIS…Is why you learn this stuff…

All The Very Best,

Bush

@heretolearn haha great rant! i didn’t know rj was on doctor phil. i’d love to see that episode.

Hey Ross,
I just really wanted to say thanks for this. As odd as it might sound it is good to know you are human. Now my weight issues go the other direction. But, I have to say your system has had such a profound impact on my life I can’t describe the ways it has helped me. I am not quite where I want to be with women, yet. But I thinks are 10000% better, and I mean that.