Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,
The other day, someone left this comment on my blog as well as emailing it to me. I am going to reproduce it here for you to read and quite frankly do nothing other than ask you: what would YOU tell him?
I’d really like to encourage your participation here, so the person who leaves the best comment gets a 1/2 free Skype consult with me-winner to be announced on the blog. Here is his post; please read and answer him as best YOU can:
Hey Ross,
I have to say this is all really great stuff! I have been following your lessons (at least these updates and the older stuff I was able to get for free through link provided with the “Up To Speed with Speed Seduction” video series) for quite some time now- since the end of last Fall. However I can’t really seem to integrate any of this into my approaches to women very easily, and I can’t afford to buy any of your “premium” stuff (I’m a broke college student)…
I feel like I should be much better with women than I am- I’m smart, good-looking (women tell me this all the time, even though they say they’re not attracted to me), and fairly successful (I go to an Ivy League school and do pretty well academically). But I feel like a total failure with women- I’m 21 and I’ve never even had my first kiss! Girls my age have always told me they “don’t like my like that” (romantically/sexually), and it’s really caused some problems with my life. A while back, one girl even actually thought I was suicidal because I seemed so upset/depressed about this stuff, and caused some considerable trouble for me by reporting that concern to the authorities! (suicide on campus has been a really big issue here lately, after a recent string of successful student suicides)
I really need some kind of turn-around with my romantic/sexual life!
I know I’m capable of being really good with women because two or three times in my life something has just “clicked” in my head and for a brief moment I was really good at flirting with women- one time this got me a date with a really hot, smart, popular girl when I was in high school that I ended up having to miss because I ended up stuck on a car en route to Vermont with a dead cell phone (she ended up thinking I had stood her up, and spread word through the rest of the high school- killing any remaining chance I had of getting a date while in high school) Another time, here in college, I got a girl not-so-subtly inviting herself back to my place (for a hook-up), but I actually didn’t recognize what she was doing until it was too late and I said something really stupid that was a huge turn-off (she was really cold to me from then on and never brought up what had happened). So I know it’s possible for me to get the kind of results I want with women, or something even better! But I just can’t seem to do it and it’s destroying my life bit by bit…
I know I do a lot of stuff wrong with women, but I just don’t know how to go about fixing any of it… I know I also do some stuff very right with women, but it’s much harder for me to pick out what those things are… I’ve gotten really desperate to try and find something that works for me, and I’ve tried everything. I even created a profile on several dating websites (my profile on OK Cupid is Northstar1989 if anyone wants to take a look at how I present myself to the world and see what I do wrong…), but NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING seems to work for me….
Please help me Ross. If there’s anything you can do, any advice you could give me, I’d really appreciate it.
Regards,
Blake
P.S. I’ll also ‘CC this to the e-mail address I have for you from the Up to Speed videos, rj@seduction.com ,in case you don’t notice this comment.
hey pal, as an advice to keep thid message in short term i can say to you that dont close yourself to the college territory, there are plenty of places where you can go to meet hot women, i know it could be more difficult but it is what you need to do if you really want to get some girls. In addition i will be honest with you, the unstopable confidence audios are just great you should try them if you really want to talk to women anywhere ask ross about them! with this your problem should be solved … change your attitude and work to be better with this stuff… about some seduction techniques i cant give you any cause im just starting like you i hope that this speed seduction 3.0 package can help me . Good luck to you friend you can do it… by the way if you dont have money try the ross jeffries coaching program it is only 1 dollar the first month and you can chat with ross.
Hello mate,
Lets forget about the negative stuff for a minute and look at what you got going for you (You seem to be in a very similar place to myself around 3-4 years ago, which is what prompted me to try and give you some advice). Your young, smart and good looking…not a bad place to start off from! Its obvious from you post that you have the resources needed to start being successful with woman…You write;
“I know I’m capable of being really good with women because two or three times in my life something has just “clicked” in my head and for a brief moment I was really good…”
Now, to access these resource’s again you need to close your eye’s and vividly remember that time when things just ‘Clicked’ for you; Where are you?, what can you see/hear?, What kind of things are you saying in your head and to the woman? What are you feeling in your body? How is your body positioned?
If your not already there, see yourself from inside your own body as opposed to seeing ‘you’ flirt with that woman.
Once you have this resourceful state again, it’s time to ramp it up!! Make the pictures bigger and brighter, hear your internal voice say; she wants me! she’s wet for me 🙂 or whatever you want to hear. Give the good feeling in your body a colour and intentionally sweep then through your whole body from head to toe about 10 times, taking about 2 seconds each time. Now anchor it by pressing your thumb and middle finger together for about 30 seconds when the good feelings are at there peak. Finally, set off that anchor and imagine a future scenario when you are flirting with a woman. See her reacting positively to you, then imagine things from her perspective by seeing through her eye’s looking at you…saying to herself he’s hot!, he’s turning me on!, then jump back to yourself seeing things from this new perspective and watching her reactions (credit to RJ for this).
Now open your eye’s and release any expectation that this will change anything and get on with your life. Do this 3 times a day
You also seem to be in your head a little and not paying attention to what’s in front of you… THAT SEXY FOX! A Meditation practice and placing about 20% of your attention to your feet while taking to women will help you with this (credit to RJ again for this)
Below I’ve briefly outline what helped me through my anxiety around women…
I think You can deal with this on a few different levels. All of which can change your relationship to yourself and world. If applied correctly, usually always) the most profound changes will happen when working at level 3, then 2, then 1;
1. How you outwardly act. i.e starting conversations, social skills, the ‘game’ type stuff – This is working at the top level, which over weeks and months will permanently change your relationship to the word.
2. NLP techniques/Hypnosis/Magick (i.e stepping into a more resourceful self, mentally rehearsing future scenarios, shutting down negative self-talk, parts integration or even hypnosis. There is a shit-ton of NLP stuff on the internet, some of it good, but most of it shit. Some of the good guy’s are Richard Bandler, Paul McKenna and RJ of course) – I consider NLP/Hypnosis/Magick to be working at the middle level. When practised over and over again these techniques can provide deep and permanent change.
3. Insight/Vipassana meditation. You can’t really learn this from a book, although I highly recommend watching Shinzen Young’s youtube channel. The only way to learn meditation is by attending a retreat (some are free). I recommend the free 10 day Vipassana retreat taught by Goenka G (not sure how you spell it!). This will teach you how to release all that negative energy around women, improve your concentration and help you become more grounded in the here-and-now – I consider this working at the 3rd level where the most fundamental and profound changes occur.
I hope this helps mate, it’s all about improving and developing yourself.
P.S Ross, If I get the free skype call can you give it to Blake
@IMHO Wow. Brilliant answer. Ok YOU get the Skype consult for being so generous with being willing to give it to another.
Email me: ross@seduction.com subject: I won the skype consult.
Hey, Guy keep your head up, one thing you must learn to accept is that failure is a part of life. Part of the bullshit this culture ingrains in us is a unhealther fear of failure. As far as I can tell you are looking for what Ross calls performance confidence, which your not going to have. As for being a broke college student I am too. Find a way to buy his stuff it really does work when you put your heart and soul into it. I am going to make a confession, I was a 27 year old virgin before I started using his stuff. It has gotten me the results I have wanted for a long time. Like you for a while I was even turning down women who were litteraly asking me to have sex with them. So don’t feel like your the only one. From your email I am guessing that you fear or are trying to avoid failure. The key here is that to have fail, sometimes a lot, to practice these skills enough to get what you want. At least thats the way it looked for me. And if you fear her response let me just say that only once have I gotten a nasty response from making a move on a women. And frankly I just laughed at her, I wasn’t sure how I would respond to it when it happened but man am I glad I used Ross’ teachings to instill the kind of confidence in myself that I could just laugh it off when a women told me she was not actracted to me. By the way thank you, Ross. I don’t know what I would have done without your stuff.
@Justin Thanks. How about you email me a testimonial with some details about how you found my stuff, what it did for you, etc?
ross@seduction.com is the address. I need your testimonial as so many guys have been ripped off, gypped, burned and conned by all the imitators and impersonators that they might never come to the true teaching of moist pinkness without guys like you stepping up and telling your story.
Pal lemme tell you we are on the same boat here.I’m a somebody from India 27 M and never had my first kiss yet but now have an understanding of Ross’s stuff & I know how you feel right now.I’ve been there.Believe me I KNOW I WILL LOSE MY VIRGINITY ANYTIME NOW!Here is a piece of advice.Whatever has had happened to you is absolutely true and at the same time irrelevant.If you were to imagine…really imagine what it was like when…what are you doing just before *this girl not-so-subtly invited me and at these other two or three times in my life something is just “clicking” in my head*Just imagine you are this person now…and go out & talk to women like this.The other thing I find is you used to be the “NICE GUY” same mistake I had done in the past.Tell the girls you will NOT be their emotional-garbage-can.You wanna have FUN.I’m not sure if Ross would approve of what I’m about to say but I will take the liberty as someone who claims to be Ross’s student.TAKE MY ADVICE AND DO IT & YOU CANNOT NOT GET LAID NOW!Let’s see who gets laid first and believe me I want you to win!
Hi Blake,
First off take comfort that you are experiencing the same frustration as a lot of men out there. Most of us are not as brave to admit it to someone else as you are, so applaud yourself for that.
A lot of times really smart people (like yourself) get really frustrated faster than other guys because they are used to having success in other areas of their life (ie. academics). With that said, you have learn to stop convincing yourself that woman want these “material” type things. This was a struggle for me to stop thinking this way too. Don’t get me wrong your Ivy league education certainly doesn’t hurt your chances.
My gut tells me you are an overly self conscious person. You might also be a slightly judgmental type person since usually people who feel they are defined by external qualities (school, looks, etc.) tend to look at other people through that same lens. You have to shut this mechanism down that is causing yourself to view yourself this way. You are wasting energy sizing yourself up this way and the main drawback to this is that it is horribly unattractive. Becoming comfortable with who you are as a person is literally quieting that voice that is forcing you to constantly evaluate and re-evaluate who you are as a person.
Here’s an exercise I have been doing lately to overcome this problem. Go online, buy a ridiculous pair of large rimmed (yet trendy) glasses (less than $10, fast one meal if you don’t have the money). Wear them when you go out. I had a girl recently look at me and just start laughing (great conversation starter!). The more you are comfortable going out and being “different” the better you will get at silencing that voice trying to keep you constantly evaluating yourself against societal norms. Girls (and guys) want to be around someone who doesn’t always follow the rules and resonates a certain vibe to this effect. When you have mastered this, than you may occassionally have girls approach you, but focus on energy, not so much your looks, etc.
Read your profile. Not bad, but shorten it up to add some intrigue. Laying yourself out there too early essentially means you are looking for validation from other people, which again is unattractive.
The counter intuitive thing about a lot of things in life is the more fun you have working at something the flatter the learning curve gets. So smile, laugh and enjoy this learning process.
Peace,
CP
@CP Lovely..great response. You don’t get the Skype consult but I would like to gift you with something else. So email me: ross@seduction.com and let’s see what we can arrange. Great!
Hello everyone,
Hello Blake,
First of all I would like to say I am not expert yet but I will gradually get that experience of being very capable of seducing women for my own values.
I believe the comments above should be very helpful for you but I would like to comment a sentence of what you said with a simple, straightforward question.
“but NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING seems to work for me….”
Why don’t you STOP thinking about “nothing” and START thinking about SOMETHING that works for you?
SOMETHING that works in your own way, that has some sort of success (ie i made her laugh) and start growing this kind of thinking.
Why don’t you try that to make yourself feel better?
I should apologize though because I ended up with two questions but it’s time someone will feel better 🙂
Thank you all for reading this.
PS. Ross Jeffries I will eventually try out your strategies from your books and they had better make me the person I want to be concerning women 🙂
Hey everyone,
This is Blake writing again (from now on I’ll just go by my first name, to provide some protection for my identity)…
I wanted to start off by thanking everyone for their advice. I can really tell that you guys all thought pretty hard about this post…
I would also like to explain a few things for clarity:
First of all, I have been continuing to try very hard for a very long time now to meet young women. I have been putting myself out there more than what I think is enough- I just haven’t had any true success yet. I do occasionally see what looks like the beginning of a breakthrough- like lately I have had a string of successes in apparently putting whole groups of people into trance states (girls AND guys. The guys are just innocent bystanders, whereas my real focus is always on some girl in the group- but it’s kind of funny/amusing to see their eyes kind of gloss over and watch them go inside just like the girls I’m focusing on!) ; however these “breakthroughs” rarely pan out into anything real, and whatever there was a burst of (such as successfully putting people into trance states) usually either stops happening or becomes commonplace but useless on its own…
Second, I’m not looking for performance confidence. I acknowledge and accept the importance of acceptance/extraction confidence, and this is the type of confidence I strive for and consider most appropriate. But having a strong sense of confidence still doesn’t seem to do much for me on its own… (and I’m having great difficulty putting the language techniques to any successful application- other than the occasional isolated trance state which doesn’t seem to lead anywhere)
Finally, it’s not that I’m *trying* to size myself up romantically on the basis of things like looks or brains. It’s just that it’s hard to break all my AFC-programming, and realize that my power altitudes, confidence, and how skilled I am in my use of language matter a lot more…
Regards,
Blake
P.S. In the next post, I’m going to give an example of a message I very recently sent to a HOT, adventurous, and intelligent young woman here at my university on Facebook. I met her at a social function and she told me that she doesn’t use her phone that often and the best way to reach her is on Facebook, and then proceeded to share her full name with me on request (not sure if that’s true, but what was I supposed to do- tell her I think she might be lying about not using her phone often? If I knew the effective thing to do instead of accepting that, I would have done it…) The message makes reference to an improvised trance state I put her into almost without trying (she dropped into it very readily), but which really didn’t accomplish much IMHO other than making her much more aware of my presence and vibe, and somewhat more suggestible… However she seemed to respond fairly well to me anyways, and even told me what sounded a lot like “I don’t have a boyfriend” (specifically, she told me another guy who said he was dating her was just fibbing)… Not to sound too much like an average frustrated chump here (though I kind of am still one in a lot of ways), but this girl’s got a lot going for her… Trying very hard not too place too much importance in what happens with her though, and realize there are plenty of other great girls around and I should best approach this from a laid-back “let’s have some fun experimenting with different approaches here, and see what happens” altitude.
Hi Blake
I’ll would advice you to take IMHO’s strategy not only as a preparation for sarge but to gain control of your state in every
situation.Blake try not to focus on your end result,truth is with
practice, you can only get better.Women ,call it sixth sense,can literally smell desparation miles away.Focus on the actual process,with out expectations because you will be able to read her response and see what works.
All The Best
Bullet
Hi Blake,
There is a phrase RJ uses “Watch your language”..
..and I find, when you understand it, Really understand it, It’s one of the most helpful things..
Among all of the tremendous free stuff Ross gives away is a “livecoaching.mp3” and it is explained briefly towards the end of that…and it really makes sense.
I become aware of this material in November 2010 and rather like yourself cash was something I wasn’t too familiar with at that time, so I started searching for any free video’s on the websites available, got myself in there, until suddenly Ross started giving away a shit load of stuff…stuff I had already recently paid for….That’s how new some of this stuff is…
My advice, take full advantage of it…
Ross Jeffries gives more away, interacts and actually cares for/with his fans more than anyone in the seduction community.. He makes the rest look like they should go back to selling lemonade on they’re front lawns :o)
Persistence pays off – Believe.
rus x
@Rus Thanks for that. Teaching is my life. I love it. Selling lemonade? Some of these clowns should be making license plates in a big house.
P.S. Blakey, When you’ve finished giving that HB (Hot Babe)a slice of the action…..If you feel so inclined….Using your post only….
Give me a list of all your previous limiting beliefs x
Watch this space….
..and this one
P.P.S. Or even better….Understand our new empowering beliefs….