Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Too often, we are taught that to get something we really want or a change we really want in ourselves, we have to constantly think about it, keeping our “goal” in the front of our mind.
In other words, we’re taught to “get psyched“.
This over-motivation is a load of crap that just keeps people stuck.
You have to find the proper level of motivation to create change, and that involves knowing when to just dismiss it from your mind and let it go.
It’s sort of like baking cookies in an oven.
If you put the dough in the oven but keep opening the oven door every 30 seconds to check if the cookies are done, they will never get finished!
In fact, this constant thinking if you are progressing or not or if it is working is just another form of doubt. You see, “hope” and “doubt” are really the same thing. They both involve uncertainty.
For example: once you’ve done your mental rehearsal, you need to let it go. Just release it, relax and know it will be there for you in the real world, whenever you need it.
Remember: wherever you have been with women, up to now, has been based on what you were taught, what you knew how to do, up until now, with the tools you had at your disposal.
Given new tools, new ways of operating, new ways of thinking, you can and WILL do better, much better.
Peace and piece,
PR (aka RJ)
P.S. No matter where you may be with your success with women, you can always break through and make huge leaps and jumps. I’ve seen it with my students, time and again. YOU will see it when you immerse yourself in the teachings of Speed Seduction® 3.0
Thank you for this, I’ve been trying to find the balance of motivation and letting go; your articles have been a great help.
But its that letting go part that just seems so difficult to ACTUALLY DO! And although I’ve come across a couple of rudimentary techniques to do this, what is the best one in your experience for letting go?
Hey Ross,
Once again you so freaking nailed it. I see this negative pattern all the time with anxiety sufferers of all types. This for me is your key point that bears repeating: “…this constant thinking if you are progressing or not or if it is working is just another form of doubt. You see, “hope” and “doubt” are really the same thing. They both involve uncertainty.”
All the “techniques” and “patterns” are merely tricks until you internalize this crucial concept and lock it into your neurology.
thanks again for the edge you bring to this work that the other guys fail to grasp! Peace!
– Mark Shepard
PR,
I thank you for giving me new tools to work with.
I was so shy/terrified of women’s emotional outlashes that I wouldn’t even do openers. Yesterday, I did openers on 7 women-something I would have been terrified to do not so long ago.
I had a real problem with this, and people I know say I look more confident because I don’t have nearly as much of that “nervous nilly” thing going on anymore.
The funny thing is that it seems like the better looking women are often more receptive. They tend to lavish themselves in the praise you give them. It’s a good feeling.
I really hope some guy out here can read this and see that a person who was really AFRAID like iv’e been for far to long just went for it, and I feel alot better about myself for doing so.
Go for it, you have nothing to lose (except the quality of life you can have by letting fear rule your existence rather than moving ahead intelligently to overcome your fear), and PR’s teachings will help you grow as a person as you seek pie to pound.
I always hung my head low. Today I’m smiling.
Thanks PR
PS: I’ll be in LA all this weekend and next week.
I’d love to buy the guru a Starbucks.
Paul,
You have to find the proper level of motivation to create change, and that involves knowing when to just dismiss it from your mind and let it go.
That reminds me of an interview with Anthony Hopkins which I saw on television some years ago. He said, “a Jesuit priest once told me the best short prayer I ever heard. He said ‘fuck it.’ As in ‘you’ve done all you can do; the rest is it’s in God’s Hands now, so fuck it! Just get on with the rest of it!'”
What about the sense of guilt? Bandler in a old seminar Patterns of intimacy and flirtation touches it, you should watch it. A guy I know very well has been messed up and repressed sexually when he was a child, because they defamed him telling the false to his mother that had some knoledge of psycology. I think you should watch it, meditation is powerful but takes long time and need new experiences from a strong intent to overcome installed identities, the provisional step should be change the identity.