Linguistic Labels: Do They Make Things Worse? (aka “A Really Sucky Thing Happened To Me Friday”)

Dear Seeker of Success,

So as many who follow me on Facebook and Periscope know, CNN cut my interview out of the episode that Lisa Ling is doing on the PUA community.

Rats.

This was a great interview that would have next-leveled my business with perhaps a million hits on my website, lots of new members of the community… not to mention thousands of women contacting me.

Upon hearing the news, I experienced rage, sadness, disbelief…..and…

Now, I Have Decided To Use It As A
Teaching Lesson About Metaphor

You see, I was using language like,

“This is a crushing blow.”

“This is a devastating hit.”

“I feel so low.”

So let’s take this apart and look at the metaphors here.

Have I literally had a hit to my head?

Has my body actually been crushed, as in a car accident?

Did someone really hit me?

“Low”…well what does that mean?

All of these are linguistic labels; metaphors that are an attempt to describe body sensations and flows of thinking.

But in that attempt, they actually disempower us by:

1. Distracting us from actually contacting the processes going on in the flow of feeling in the body.
2. Distracting us from actually contacting the flow of thought and watching it arise and then disappear.
3. Taking away resourceful thinking. As long as we use these metaphors we CANNOT be at cause. We have to be at effect.

So I am determined to tune in to the flow of thought (without disputing it) and the flow of feeling.

Our metaphors and linguistic labels need to be “stripped away” so we can contact what is actually going on with the body, flow of feeling, FLOW of thought.

Only then do we have a chance to connect with what matters – and influence that.

THEN we can choose more empowering metaphors.

Such as:

“I am experiencing the ebb and flow, the arising and vanishing of unpleasant sensations.”

“I am experiencing the arising and vanishing of thoughts that have a sad feel, a hopeless feel, and angry feel, a rage feel, a resentment feel.”

Then and ONLY then could I choose a more empowering metaphor.

I don’t even know what that will be yet.

One thing I can say: friends attempting to be helpful will use metaphors like, “You’ll bounce back” (What am I? A ball? )

Or, “one door closes, another one opens.” (Really? How does this get rapport and express compassion with what I am experiencing? Are their literally doors involved in any of this?)

At this point, I can only say this:

“I use this as an opportunity to teach myself and share with others, and in that I find fufillment and happiness and a sense of purpose and meaning.”

But seeking to minimize or argue with the situation: no, no, NO.

Acting out or suppressing adds more suffering.

So…..what do you think of this lesson?

RJ

P.S. Please, no advise or metaphors. A simple, “Great lesson, sorry for the pain you are experiencing at the moment” works fine and is appreciated.

P.P.S. Using my own practices, I’m actually much better now. Teacher became student. I got an “A”. (mepahor again)

P.P.P.S. How would you like to enjoy the feeling of happiness, regardless of circumstances as well as being able to radically influence circumstances to come out your way, so you win on both ends of the spectrum….

….satisfied when things don’t go your way and fulfilled and happier when they do?

That being the case, click here now.