Dear Seeker of Success,
One of the biggest challenges in mastery of macking is maintaining what I call realistic motivation and informed enthusiasm.
As I’ve taught and best teach in Rapid And Total Success With Women……
In An Area Of Life That Has Been
Challenging And Painful,
Old Stuff Is Going To Come Up!
Painful emotions and ways of seeing, thinking, and feeling will arise when you go to change simply because they have momentum.
I’m sure you are aware of Newton’s Laws of motion, are you?
(Isaac Newton, as well as describing the laws of motion and gravity lived into his 80’s and died a virgin! Poor dude!)
One of these laws simply states that objects in motion tend to remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force, and objects at rest tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.
It’s the same with your old patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.
They Have What I Call
Cognitive Momentum And
Emotional Inertia.
So in this series, over the next few days, I want to talk about that and the solutions I offer.
Let me tell you about one solution that I gave to a coaching client.
After talking to him for a while, it became clear that he was viewing it as too much of a task to go out and meet women.
He was feeling stuck, as if he was pushing through resistance.
My answer was to tell him to, at least for a while, stop making it about getting results with women and
Instead, Aim At The Great Feeling
That Comes With Breaking Through
A Boundary And A Barrier
In his case, I told him to do the following:
- Go to where there are attractive women.
- Take on a totally absurd approach that had nothing to do with being successful with them, but instead about giving him a sense that he has broken through a personal imitation.
I told him to walk up to a woman and say,
Excuse me, but I’m testing my ability to handle feelings of terrible humiliation and horrible embarrassment.
So in 15 seconds from now(I told him at this point to look at his watch) could you please either coldly ignore me or viciously, brutally verbally assault me?
I instructed him to then, no matter what her response, notice whatever flow of feeling arose in his body – and just stand there with it until he noticed it went away.
And at the moment of it going away, to say to himself, “gone”.
I told him that,
No Matter How Nicely Or Nastily
She Responded, HE Wins
because he’ll experience the thrill of breaking through a personal limitation, through, paradoxically, NOT trying to be successful with or caring at all about the woman’s actual response.
(Oh yes; I also told him, no matter what she said, including if she was friendly and open, to say “thanks” and walk away).
Bottom line: when you are feeling stuck:
- Switch to something totally absurd.
- Change the meaning of what you are doing so it’s about you winning no matter what or how she responds.
Let me know what you think.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. You’ll notice I mentioned my Rapid And Total Success With Women Course.
I can honestly tell you with both pride and sadness that, after 30 years of thinking about and teaching this subject, I’ve poured hy heart and soul into polishing this diamond.
So if you want to grab this comprehensive, modular representation of my teaching, check it out here.
