Dear Seeker of Success,
One of the things that often gets in the way of keeping up with your Sarging is dwelling on mistakes.
(As one mystic said, “Don’t hate mistakes. They are how the light leaks in”.)
As I have said over and over, the problem with dwelling on mistakes is that you are, without knowing it, rehearsing them.
You are telling your brain, over and over, that in this situation, act and respond like the mistake!
Then you compound the problem by telling yourself that you are a “thing” called a “loser” or someone who is doomed to fail.
Sounds pretty awful, does it not?
So here is a bit of utterly absurd advice.
When you find yourself dwelling on mistakes I want you to…
Stick A Watermelon In It!
No, I didn’t say stick your thing in a watermelon.
What I mean is, if you are going to dwell on mistakes, what I want you to do, is in between each mistake, imagine a big, juicy, ripe watermelon.
Pick it up in your mind, and cut a slice.
Then sink your teeth into it and imagine the juicy sweetness flooding your mouth.
Then go on to the next mistake, or the next repetition of dwelling on the mistake.
Dwell on it, and then once again…
Stick In That Watermelon!
Sooner or later, this disrupts the negative feed forward loop of ruminating on your errors, because it introduces the pattern interrupt of a pleasant set of images, sounds and sensations.
Bottom line: never underestimate the power of the absurd to fuck up your ability to fuck it up. (Got that?)
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Inside Rapid and Total Success With Women, you learn how to destroy your inner negativity and self-sabotage – complete Inner Game Mastery Made Easy, simple and step-by-precise-step.
Learn how to get past years of stuck points, sabotage, and just plain ignorance of what really works by clicking here now.
*like*
very good
mmm watermelon… the way to deliciously fuck up the fuck up..
Thought I’d share my thoughts…
I decided two days ago, that I’m going for it: I’m going to relentlessly and tenaciously improve my skills with girls. I’ve had bursts of motivation before, but such that bore no long lasting (if any) fruit.
This time I’m going for it!
I hit the streets yesterday and tried to push through my anxiety and talk to a girl. But, as a woman came closer and closer to me and the accompanying thoughts of approaching her rose in my mind, I felt butterflies in my chest that prevented a lid from opening up inside my throat.
The more women passed me by the more I became aware of just how much my own tremors hold me back. Also, their faces seemed like they were very annoyed for some reason and very serious too, as if disturbing them would mean to cut their minds off a very important thing they are being occupied with. That last impression really held me back. Nonetheless I kept walking (I think I walked an estimated 5 K’s), feet aching, and I approached a few girls. I noticed how CONTAINED I have become in my own inflexible skin. Nonetheless I felt proud that I did something for a change to make a change!
Earlier today, I decided that I will not, despite whatever shitty mood I might find myself in, despite how confused I felt, I will not cut off the momentum I have created. So again, this time on bicycle, I took it to the streets, and again I came close to a girl but failed to overcome the cloud of butterflies and the choking sensation I felt in my throat.
At last, I was riding towards this girl holding two nylon bags of groceries. I stopped and said “whow you’re cute” (or something like that) and she said thank you in an ignoring manner and continued to walk past me, but I didn’t give up and kept on talking and I noticed she was carrying tiny bottles of water so I said something cute about that. She kept walking. the point is I found myself much more relaxed during the approach, as if I didn’t care much of what was going to happen, or what she might think of me, and this, I believe, gave me a lot more space to look at things and notice things about her and her surroundings.
BTW – I’m from Israel so maybe the state of mind there is different than it is in other places. Maybe the bullshit is not all in my head, but rather, it’s all in the Israeli streets…or maybe it’s all this evaporating heat that keeps women from wanting to stay for too long and talk under the boiling sun.
[…] this isn’t the first time I’ve told you this, […]
Now there’s a useful technique for stopping the negative looping 🤔
Glad to help!