Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,
As you may know, I’ve recently launched my Coaching Program, and it is going great guns.
As well as offering twice a month group coaching calls, once a month private office hours, and a members only discussion forum, I also post 4 monthly custom-designed video mini-seminars, complete with powerpoint and downloadable transcripts.
These mini-seminars are my custom-made answers for 4 members of the program whom I choose from among the best questions asked on the teleseminars or in the member’s forum.
As a sneak peak, I thought I’d post the transcript of one of the Nov modules.
This is long, but packed with information, so do take some time when you read it, or print it out and read the hard copy.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. As well as the transcripts of the video modules, we also strip out the sound and post it as an Mp3 file for students to upload to an iPod or just listen to on their computer. You can check it all out here.
This “Answers to Students” module is for Marcel B. This will be
short but sweet. This is a really good one. I can’t think of too
many situations or questions that are as common and pervasive as
this one. I know you’re going to enjoy it, so let’s get right to
it.
Here’s his email. Essentially what he’s saying is that he
doesn’t have approach anxiety except when he gets to women who
are like an HB eight or higher. Then he shuts down. He says,
“What can I do to overcome the shutting down?”
In essence, we have a guy who does well with women until they
get to be like an eight, nine or 10, whatever the hell that
means for him. Then he starts to have a problem. Does this sound
familiar? I’ll bet it does.
As a teacher, I have to listen to how people are languaging
things and say, “Is that really the situation? Is the way he’s
languaging this controlling the way he can see his options,
therefore controlling what he can do and the results?” I’ve said
this time and again: The way in which you think about a subject
determines what you can see as a choice, and therefore what you
can do and what results you get.
Thinking about it as shutting down isn’t accurate. I don’t think
that’s what’s going on. From my experience teaching thousands of
guys since 1993, I can tell you that when it comes to beautiful
women, guys don’t shut down, they amp up. Basically, there’s so
much electricity and energy vibrating through their neurology
because of all the sexual excitement that the higher assemblies
of the brain just get shut down.
As my teacher, Shenzen Young, likes to say, there’s only so much
real estate in consciousness. If all of your focus and attention
is going into the feelings rushing through your body, you don’t
have a lot left over for the cognitive parts of your mind.
The first thing you have to realize is how you are languaging
the problem. How are you talking to yourself about it? What
metaphor are you using? The metaphor of shutting down is not an
accurate metaphor. When you pick a metaphor, a way of describing
and talking about something, you want to make it is accurate,
matches what’s going on and is empowering and useful. It has to
be accurate, empowering and useful.
Let’s start putting this into perspective. Way back when I wrote
my first book in 1988, I said, “One woman, one vote.” On
Election Day, that super-smoking hot, beautiful woman gets the
same number of votes as her disgustingly fat, ugly, hairy
sister.
When it comes to very beautiful women, guys tend to think they
have some kind of universal beautiful-woman-to-beautiful-woman
hotline. Men think that if one woman rejects them, somehow some
instant telepathic message goes out to every beautiful woman,
and from then on, their vaginas, arms and nasty bits are shut
down to you forever. In fact, there is no such thing. There’s no
universal communications system. It’s one woman, one vote.
The next thing I want to tell you is far more pervasive. You
don’t realize how true this is. She may not think that she’s
very hot. Even if she’s drop-dead gorgeous and makes your gonads
go at warp speed, she may think she’s not good looking at all.
I’ve seen this time and again. Drop-dead beautiful women may
have half a molecule of fat on their interior quadriceps, but
they think they’re fat pigs. They may have the tiniest little
blemish behind one ear and think they’re monsters.
She may not think she’s so hot, so before you start putting her
up on that generic pedestal, you may want to realize that’s not
her view of herself. She may think that she rates as a slob or a
horrible, ugly werewolf of a woman.
You have to understand that beautiful women put men into altered
states of consciousness. What is an altered state of
consciousness? It’s a state of consciousness different from the
one you normally go around in.
Doesn’t it make sense to design the altered state that serves us
to get our outcome rather than the altered state that’s our
default altered state? One of the keys to this is to forget that
she has something you want. That’s going to take up no real
estate in your consciousness.
A big part of success in this is paying attention to what the
chump ignores and ignoring what the chump pays attention to. The
fact that she has something you want is not going to enter your
consciousness. That’s something you’ll be putting aside.
Instead, you’ll just focus on how you can create the states in
her that you want to create.
You’ll focus on whatever information you can illicit or evoke
from her that will let you get what you want. Forget about the
fact that you think she’s hot. Put that aside and focus all your
intention and attention on what she has. What is she offering?
What can you evoke and illicit from her that will enable you to
get what you want? Those are the cognitive aspects.
Let me talk about the physiological and energetic aspects. Often
when guys are stuck, there’s a cognitive aspect, which is how
they’re thinking about it, what meaning they’re attaching and
what metaphors they’re using.
Then there’s the physiological aspect. What’s going on?
Remember, I said that a lot of this is about amping yourself up.
You have 100,000 volts going down a 10,000-volt test line. How
do you de-amp yourself?
I’m going to show you something kind of gross, and that’s my
foot. You’re going to de-amp yourself using your feet. What the
hell do I mean by that? When your body is going through an
energetic overcharge, a good way to deal with it is to ground
things down to your feet.
I can give you a lot of reasons for this. I could tell you there
are acupuncture pressure points on the bottom of the feet. I’m
not one to begin to try to explain whether there’s any science
behind this. Frankly, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just
know empirically that if you act as if the model were true and
just do as I tell you, you’ll get the result that I promise and
predict.
What you’re going to do is de-amp yourself using your feet. It’s
very easy. You’re going to very slightly bend your knees and
exhale. It’s a slight bend in your knees, not a deep bend as if
you’re going to bend over. It’s just the very slightest bend in
the knees, maybe about 2 inches.
As you bend your knees, you’re going to exhale. As you’re doing
this, I want you to feel the feeling of your feet pressing
against the ground. If you’re wearing shoes, so much the better.
You’ll feel the feeling of your feet pressing against your
shoes, pressing down against the ground. You’re also going to
feel the feeling of the ground pressing back up against your
shoes and feet. When you straighten up, you’re going to take a
big inhale. If you do that three times, you will de-amp
yourself.
I want you to try it. To review, you’re going to ground through
your feet, bending your knees slightly as you exhale. As you
straighten up, inhale. Throughout all of this, you want to feel
the feeling of your feet pressing down against your shoes,
pressing down against the ground and the ground pressing up
against your shoes, pressing up against your feet. This is key.
We’re talking about dividing the real estate in your
consciousness. When you’re interacting with super-hot women, put
about 20% of your attention on the feeling of your feet against
your shoes and the feeling of your shoes against the ground.
The bottom line is that if you can put 20% of your attention on
the feeling of whatever’s pressing against your feet, and
whatever your feet are pressing against, you will be so focused,
in tune and de-amped that it’ll be like you’re talking to a
huge, fat, disgusting hairy-lipped pig. Then you’ll do really
well. This is very powerful and important. These things are
really counterintuitive.
Notice the one thing I’m not telling you to do. I’m not telling
you to pump yourself up with confidence and say, “Yes, that hot
bitch is mine!” That’s just rehearsal confidence, and that can
work. However, if you have this physiological overcharge, your
physiology will always wipe out, overwrite and overcome anything
you simply rehearse in your head.
Rehearsing in your head is great provided there isn’t some
physiological overcharge going on. When there’s an overcharge
going on, as there is with beautiful women, rehearsing in your
head alone will not be enough. You have to learn to handle the
physiological aspect.
I’m going to show you one more trick. Now we’re going to get
into the cognitive piece. If you really want to get good,
rehearse suck-cess through her eyes. Here’s what I mean. It’s
one thing to see yourself acting the way you want to act, and I
like that.
Here’s a really wicked trick. Imagine that you’re looking at
yourself through her eyes. Imagine you’re standing inside her
body looking out through her eyes at you.
Then, since we’re dealing with physiology, I want you to feel a
little of her rush of excitement. Just a little bit. Not
overwhelming. It’s not like you feel her coochie dripping down
her legs. Instead, just feel a little of her rush of excitement
as she feels a bit of a thrill seeing you.
One of the mistakes guys make with this material is that they
try to completely overload a woman’s physiology, her neurology.
You want to light it up, not short it out. Hear her voice in her
mind saying, “Mmm, that guy is cute!”
Then you’re going to imagine that you’re inside her mind.
Imagine her picturing herself walking over to talk to you.
You’re seeing what she’s visualizing. See her visualize herself
walking over to talk to you. You’re sort of psychically leading
her by getting inside her mind and initiating and engaging her
thought processes for her.
The key to making this part work is very subtle intent. Do not
think of it as a “I am Dracula. Welcome to my castle” sort of
thing. In fact, when it comes to women, subtle is significant.
Here’s the key. This is so vital. I can’t tell you how important
this clue is. The hotter the woman, the more subtle you can be.
The hotter the woman, the more power being subtle has. By
“subtle,” I mean it’s very low amperage, very low wattage. It’s
not like “pant, pant.” Just a little bit of that intent is all
you need.
You’re not going to push your way through the doors to beautiful
women. You’re just going to nudge the door a little bit. If the
hinges are properly oiled, her door will swing right open in a
way that feels great for her.
That’s it for Marcel B. I really like this presentation. I want
you to watch it several times. I packed a lot of powerful,
dense, useful information, knowledge and wisdom into this
module.
Marcel, please let me know what you think about this. All of you
watching this module, write to me to let me know what you think.
Post your comments to me in an email. I really want to know what
you think. Thanks a lot.
