Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
We are bombarded with social programming by the Romance Racketeers through romance movies. The scripts brainwash us into believing the way to a woman’s heart is through dates, flowers, and all sorts of events.
It’s so damn predictable I could write one of these off the top of my head.
Blah, blah, blah, don’t worry, the ratings demand the “hero” ultimately wins. Happily after ever, wedding bells ringing in AFC-Ville, yada yada.
That is, until one of my students approaches her at Whole Foods and introduces her to The Boyfriend Destroyer then tells her about what his buddy saw on the Discovery channel the other night. 🙂
Meanwhile, here I am, urging, warning, teaching you, never engage in dating rituals with a woman you haven’t slept with yet.
A major point of resistance I encounter is this belief that “everybody takes girls out on dates”, and skepticism: will women really leap into your arms for a hot, steamy make-out session within 20 minutes of meeting?
Well, Should You Go Out With Her?
First of all, when I say “don’t take women out on dates” I mean don’t rely on buying her food and entertainment as your primary ways of creating connection, attraction, arousal and fascination.
Sure. I’ve taken girls out for an evening, but I’ve already gotten them attracted to me. Do you understand? It’s not that there’s something inherently wrong with going out, but there can be if it’s too distracting. The challenge is, don’t use that as your primary means of creating attraction.
Now Change The Script
Secondly, the minute you ask a girl out on a date, all the checklists and the social proof and social programming is going to pop up. Never phrase it as a date. Say, “Let‟s hang out,” or “Let‟s go for a walk,” or whatever it is. Can you make that shift in your language with women?
Don’t ask, “Can I take you out?” because again, immediately all the stuff comes up. “He’s not my type. What will my friends think?” Etc. Get that s&#t out of your Sargy path.
Third: When you do meet up with her, remember that mantra of sales: “location, location, location.”
It must be quiet so you’re not interrupted. Don’t go someplace really loud where you can’t get them to focus and it makes it difficult to focus on her, and her on you.
Really smart guys call ahead even if they don’t take reservations and ask for one anyway, to make sure they get seated the way that boosts your chances and opens the door for you.
Does that sound like a better scene?
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. When you show up for the meet, when you hang out, take that walk, go over there and sit for 20 minutes, your chances increase of it leading to a steaming hot make-out session when you show up attractive.
Ha, ha, ha….Ross is right, you shouldn’t be on a date until after you are more than friends….
Of course you have to be comfortable with getting there, and Ross can help with his incredible tools.
I totally agree RJ, once you mention the date girls put up barriers and shift their state of mind!
**My Sarge is in Progress:
I met this amazingly beautiful girl last Friday while she was on her way out the door from a local bar. We chatted for a bit and parted.
She’s 23 hot HB a 9 per say. That same night, I was at another bar somewhere else and there she was. I gestured her to come over, so she did and we struck a conversation.
The bartender approached me to get my drink, I looked at her trying to feel if she’s the kind of girl to use me for a drink. I felt otherwise so i bought her a drink! (I’m not sure if it was a mistake)
I suggested to find a quiet place to seat so we can hear each other but it was impossible at the location. I suggested going to a Martini bar nearby that was quieter prior to meeting her friends which is were I ran my SS patterns … twin, mental trip … she got hooked on the trip. However, her friends arrived and we got interrupted but she still kept talking about her vision on the trip she took me away from her friends listening. We ended the night by exchanging numbers.
Couple days later, on Sunday, i was going for pizza and I invited her along (I paid for the pizza). After fluff talk, I continued with SS but I felt that she was exhausted from a long partying weekend so I only did I.C, Childhood talk, some fascination vs love, falling in love etc., but mostly let her do the talking. I didn’t do any of the sexual stuff because of her energy that was too low.
*Here is why i am responding to this blog:
Three things that she said that left me confuse!
1 – HER: (during pizza) “It feels good to feel that way with someone on a first date”
(I smiled and reached over and rubbed her hand.)
2 – (later via text) HER “I’m sorry the energy with you is intense, I’m not sure if I can handle it”
(Me: what if you could become accustom to the belief that energies that scare you, maybe a direct connection to the feelings that you carry deep inside and have yet to share them w someone!)
3 – HER: “I’m not sure of my feelings”
(ME: You shouldn’t be thinking about how you feel when you’re around me. I mean, you surround yourself in a bubble of this intense energy with someone … mmmm … I can only imagine all the possibilities of reaching your full potential!! but whatever your reasons for not shooting for that. I’m ok. Have a good night.)
I ended the conversation because I started felling that I was debating her confusion too much. So, i stop all contact with her so today, 2 days later, she texted me saying:
Her: “I’m sorry I’m not the person you thought I was”
Me: May I ask what kind of person you think thought you were???
Just now, as I am typing this post:
HER: “More intellectual, more in tune … interesting”
In conclusion guys, I’m not sure if I acted as a AFC by buying her 2 two drinks and a slice of pizza during my sarge – cause, my initial thought was to take advantage of 1 on 1 opportunities that I’m getting so I can use S.S.
Any suggestions??
PS: It’d be nice to hear some comments about her behavior that I’m NOT getting. Usually with me, I get l*id right away.
Any suggestions guys??
I like this !
“Really smart guys call ahead even if they don’t take reservations and ask for one anyway, to make sure they get seated the way that boosts your chances and opens the door for you.”
Smart guys get seated in there home.
I definitely agree with not taking out a girl if she hasn’t given you any, but what is the best way to get them alone. For example if I already have their number, what do I say to get them one on one?
I just give them a choice. Would they like Lomi Lomi, Taoist, or traditional forms of massage. I tell them, “I’ll get you very relaxed, and you can’t really feel fantastic pleasure until you’re totally relaxed.”
This is one way to move beyond the check list program.
Yeah, good point about the location. My last attempted meetup I thought I had phrased it as just meeting for coffee, but the place I picked turned out to be fully occupied and silent as a morgue. That’s not the most conducive atmosphere either.
** A quick note:
I can think of so many things to say but I’m gonna sum it up to – to what extent is it wrong to offer drinks and go to dinner with a girl??
For me, I’m moving through my feelings, my level of comfortableness to do certain things. Thus I am a decision maker and would like to think that I know when to cut through the B.S.
In my case with this HB, my feelings were telling me that it was ok to offer her a drink & we are still talking. The question is, if i did not do so, would i have gotten closer to her knowing that I did not do such a great job up front… What attracted her to me was Body language, charisma, openers and confidence.
I still have a lot to learn about SS and i can tell you that if i wasn’t using it, I would not have gotten close to all of HBs I have met for the past year – I have seen what SS can do (when you believe in it).
I noticed some cocky postings. My position is, 90% of the girls that I have met never felt the way that they do when I talk to them – so i go for the ones that I really like – therefore I cannot just use SS only to get s*x because, I like to feel that connection too and have fun.
this is so true. I never ask a chic out, I will just suggest that maybe we should hang out sometime-usually they will already pulling their phone out to exchange numbers before I even finish the sentence. never dates! never use that word! I dont even like that word. it is useless for our purposes. and when I meet up with the chic somewhere, usually we will either pay for our own-but not uncommon for the girl to offer to pay nowadays….totally cool!