Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Another so-called “axiom” that I can’t STAND… yet another example of how smart men nonetheless get socially programmed into Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) is this:
“Nice guys finish last.”
So, if I’m following this, women claim (as reinforced by the romance industry) that women want sweet, sensitive, NICE guys… because they, too, are programmed that they’re “supposed” to… but deep down, they want a “bad boy” or even a “jerk” because supposedly they’re more “exciting.”
People: you can’t have it both ways.
For this one student of mine, being a “bad boy” does not come naturally to him. He’s charming, and he’s got girl-getting game.
But he thinks something’s “missing” – namely, that “bad boy” persona that he is convinced is the cooter-soaking “cinch” that will have him beating off the babes with a stick…as opposed to beating…well…you get the picture.
Here’s where this student thinks he’s stuck…
What happens in my own seduction process is that sooner or later, something happens and women decide I fall in the “nice guy” category. I don’t do the “AFC” thing – I do not attach excess meaning to any one woman I’m sarging. I don’t put up with games or nonsense, and I clearly position myself as “the prize” (limited availability).
Some reason though I end up as the guy they want as the “boyfriend” and not the fling. So bottom line, women tend to take more time before hopping in the sack with me because they see me as “boyfriend material” rather than a “disposable fling.” Maybe if I was more of a “bad boy,” the woman would show me her “bad girl” side.
Wow. So women think you’re a prize catch? What a terrible problem to have!
Seriously though, I think there are ways to approach this without having to reinvent yourself as a character from an early Marlon Brando movie.
Perhaps you simply need to better structure her expectations from the beginning.
As in, not seeing her more than once a week (instead of “always being there”). Not allowing yourself to be available for large chunks of time (so she sees you as a “prize” she needs to work for, rather than the doormat who’s always on her front step).
Or, simply, better screening to find women who really are only looking for flings, if that’s what you want.
Or you may just have to stop being such a champ in the sack that she decides you MUST be a “keeper” and tries to hoard you for herself, ONLY!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Women’s brains are hardwired to respond to certain emotional triggers. Women want to be seduced! Women want to have sex just as much as men do! Most men don’t know this and end up trying to seduce women in the totally wrong way!
Speed Seduction® 3.0 fixes that, as you’ll discover when you click here >>>
the talk should go sexual faster and you should make a move faster also. get her to confess she’s an adventurous person and then kiss her early on.
As you listen to where she is steering just give her something more arousing to be drawn toward. Fascinating the way people use language as I remember encountering woman who use the word “nice” as a trance word, so describing how nice it would be if she were to kneel in front of you like Madonna’s “like a prayer” visually took things over the edge. I had to agree that was nice!
Dead-on analysis. I tried the “nice guy” thing and the chicas get bored with that real quick. It looks to them as if you have no life or other interests. Make them want to come to you. If you do a good amount of sarging, this is not hard.
I had a gf who split up with me a while back. We now have a decent relationship because I gave her room and stopped acting like she mattered more than anyone else when in fact she didn’t. Keep the girls lined up. The ones that are worth your time will stay in touch.
I used to believe that being a nice guy meant I was a doormat and as I always saw the women go for the jerks (bad boys) then I figured that is what women want, a jerk. For most of my 20’s I was a jerk, treated women poorly and was single for the remainder of my 20’s. I understand that women like exciting guys and they believe that a “bad boy gets their motors runnin’ as they never know what hes gonna do next”.
Instead, I quit e-dating, purchased your material and have gotten to a point where I can intrigue any women I talk to within several minutes. I am in a relationship with a gorgeous redhead and never thought that would have been possible for me. Thanks for the great material (especially the freebies).
Just tell the women up front that you’re only interested in a fling. Then make it clear that you mean it. Have a fling with another hottie and tell her about it. Make it a funny, “nice guy” story with lots of humor and nothing too negative about the real fling. If women are looking at you as “boyfriend” material and you don’t like that view of yourself, then continually do little things you know each particular woman wouldn’t approve of in a boyfriend. Whatever that may be.
Good luck.
I guess.
Here’s the thing: In what way can guys like this BECOME ‘bad boys’ without being truly/dangerously ‘bad’? Train for the WWE? Mug people? Deal drugs?
My idea is, you’re either “bad”, or you’re just posing. Neither is all that great. But if it works for you, go for it.
Why not postion yourself ambigously ? Flash different sides of you as a slot machine ‘s wheels turns? I had a girl say she wasn’t sure if I was bad or good…builds intrigue and mystery which creates more attraction. reminds me of the DC 2000 seminar where mark cunnigham talks about being “complex” Be like Mad Max or Clint Eastwood characters..outside kinda bad but inside basically good
leo durocher,
similar to what i was about to say. women are attracted to MYSTERIOUSNESS, that is all theyre attracted to in jerks, that they dont know whats coming next. however, you dont have to be a ‘bad-boy’ all you need to do is stop her from being able to label you as anything, eg ‘n-guy’ ‘funny guy’ ‘smart guy’ etc etc, yeah, theres more than two! haha. how? lets say youre making her laugh, shell start to think of you as the funny guy… so IMMEDIATELY switch to a deeper conversation (relationships work well), then when she thinks youre really deep, move to something else. by the end, she should have no idea which category she could put you in = MYSTERY!!! she wants more… and this is so easy!!! and honestly WORKS!! the natural connection made between you when you do this is really incredible!! trust me. i believe this is what the man himself Ross Jeffries calls FRACTIONATING!… its very powerful, shell do anything you want to find out more… so intrigued and therefore attracted (and aroused ;))
… and that also includes turning sexuality on and off, be sexual, then stop, then repeat… mixed in with the other states… if you can be labelled… even if its a good label…. its BAD!!! haha
I need somewhere to start. I keep getting the shit end of the stick with women and what would a good way to start off well?
Cole,
Here’s someplace to start. Stop saying;
“I keep getting the shit end of the stick with women”
You gotta change your stinkin’ thinkin’!
Even if it is:
“I’m not as dumb as I used to be!”
Learn from your past, do what worked, ditch what didn’t.
Martin’s comments are very insightful too.
Mystery is a good way to describe it.
“Let your personality leak out slowly” is another way to think about it.
And for Sienfeld fans here’s a scene from 1998;
*A Woman is playing the part of Kruger, You are George*
[Kruger’s office. George enters, seeing nobody but Mr. Kruger.]
GEORGE: Hey. Where is everyone?
KRUGER: They’re all off the project. THEY WERE BORING! George, you are my main man.
GEORGE: I am?
KRUGER: I don’t know what it is, I can’t put my finger on it,
but lately you have just seemed ‘on’.
****PAY ATTENTION HERE!!!***KEY WORDS!!!********
—>> “And you always leave me wanting more.”<>see what i did?
“that’s a future story…”
did i leave you wanting more?
;{)
I really like martins comment, thanks bud. I will definately try and work in some fractionation *** into my sarges,
i think you nailed it!
My opinion of a bad boy is someone who goes against the normal flow of generic answers, because he acts differently to the system around girls he challenges there programmed beliefs and appeals to them on a natural instinct level,
A nice AFC adheres to all the rules of the game, thus falling right into place with a girls programmed beliefs ofthe dating the game.
In my opinion (and what i hope to become) a MIT easily switches between both worlds by using techniques like fractionation, powers of persuasion, implied compliments, everything really! we’re so different to what she is expecting we become the bad boy! cause we’re not doing what we’re ment to according to her social programming! !
thats just me though,
love to know what everyone thinks 🙂
thanks ross, thanks pua community.
regards,
hearts.
I can understand not wanting to be placed in a “nice guy” category but… I had an experience where a girl didn’t want to keep sleeping with me because she thought I was too nice a guy for a her, she kept saying, “You’re a really nice guy, you are…” and then I replied “No I’m not. I’m an asshole.” and then she got all excited and had a smile on her face and said “You are?!”….and it creeped me the hell out. I didn’t talk to her again. Sometimes you think you’d like things a certain way and then you actually experience it and realize it really isn’t what you thought it was.
I agree that screening women is VERY important because, believe it or not, inviting a sexy beautiful woman into your life isn’t such a wonderful thing if she’s crazy.
@Robert
I can vouch for that. Man, can I vouch for that.
Sometimes I see douchebags that use routines or approach controlling body language, I think the community is not anymore a community, so my idea about the new code includes a nice challenge.
The nice pleasure isn’t only to get the girl, also feeling the power of outrunning other puas.
This is an awesome bad-boy emotion…
What kind of pattern should be used to open, after a social-pua did it?
I used “I notice everyone tries to hit on you… are you that easy?” but itsn’t very cool, can it be improved allowing me to take ownership of the sexual interaction they started, not only put a poison pill to break the previous one?
@AM
Speaking the truth in a clever way can be a powerful persuader.
“Wow. Looks like lots of guys fell flat with their BS, but I just saw you here and knew if I didn’t say something, I’d never get a chance to meet you. I’m Marcus’.
Fun
Dominant
Understanding
Vulnerable
These are bad ass.
Using language patterns too are pleasing. … not nice. (And/Or)… x
I actually do enjoy talking to women.It’s a real shame people don’t appreciate what they have got.I’m all for casual sex but with that mentality you may as well just hire a hooker.
When i hear nice guys finish last, i hear a complement to my stamina.
@Jo
ha. FUNNY.