Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Just the other day a student of mine shared an observation with me.
The moment a woman starts with “When are you going to take me out on a date?” or “I want you to wine and dine me” he immediately, instantaneously, inexorably, and irrevocably loses interest in her.
From what he tells me, it’s not because he has taken me up on my 60-day challenge or refuses to be in thrall of the romance racketeers. Even though he does, indeed, embrace the former and reject the latter as smart men do.
As he puts it:
“There are no logistics hero action figures in the toy aisle! Many action hero figures, though.”
A “date” requires logistics. Wining and dining is nothing but logistics: reservations at the restaurant, buying the wine, selecting the best after-dinner spot to enjoy the wine, transportation to/from. And much more.
Another student told me about a street pickup he did last week that went nowhere. She told him she is unsure of her schedule because she looks after kids, doesn’t know when she gets off work, but here’s my number, give me a call, we’ll work something out. He’s losing faith as these phone numbers are not leading to “dates.”
Let’s review the latter case. First I asked him:
How long did you talk with her? What states did you generate/evoke with her? How did you link these to you and to taking further action with you?
Now I’ll say it again: this isn’t about getting the behaviors you want from women: phone numbers and dates. It’s about evoking in them the emotional states and processes (fantasy, fascination, connection) that you want linked to you.
THEN the things like phone numbers and dates become logistical details.
See the difference?
If you aren’t thinking in these terms, you aren’t doing Speed Seduction®. All that wining and dining isn’t leading to a whole lot of 69-ing, is it?
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Speed Seduction® 3.0 is your roadmap that zooms you from “zero to action hero” in your ways with the women. No more will we negotiate with her i(Don’t-Actually-Answer-My)Phone to become lucky enough to buy her dinner. Onward!
I don’t get the metaphor of “logistic action hero toys”.. What does that mean?
But I do very much so understand that dates are fake; however orgies are fOR reaaallll!! =)
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Just looking at 60 day challenge reminded me of my own recent experience in the grocery store.
HB was 2 ahead of me in checkout, discretely checking each other out, while I’m going through, she’s sending fruit back and checking messages, right up until I get ready to leave, then suddenly she stands up and makes brief eye contact before I walk by, pause and can’t quite stop before leaving the store.
At least I did let her catch up and asked if she was from Tennessee, but her demeanor in the dark parking lot was quite different than in the crowded store.
#1 it’s a safety issue. I could tell she was pretty uptight handing out an engraved invitation in front of everyone in the store to begin with. Taking that outside completely changes context.
#2 I think there is something even more fundamental for a woman about making your interest public. We’re not talking about a massive sappy movie declaration of love here, but simply letting her know by your simple and direct action you’re for real and giving her the compliment of letting others know you find her attractive.
That’s an action that will inspire her to work out the logistics for you!
This post brings up an issue that I have to get off my chest with the first scenario from Ross’s student when the HB asks…”When you going to wine and dine me?” Women have been fighting for equal rights among men
starting with the right to vote in the late 1800s. Fast forward to present day and women are fighting in combat with us, they are CEOs of fortune 500 companies, they politicians and they are even MMA fighters.
Women today are doing everything a man does except pee standing up.
Why is it when it comes to dating, romance and a man’s money they suddenly want to be treated like daddy’s little girl?
By the way, don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter, it’s an observation and I want to set the record straight. Thank the almighty guru of seduction, we now have Speed Seduction! 🙂
@zarathud
I did a pick up on Wednesday the 1/18/12 at Walmart in WI – Here’s a little Specific of the situation.
HB was in front of me at the checkout – she is a nine. the minute I started talking to her, all eyes where on me and lots of jaws dropped… I was so fearless that the cashier was blushing.
As she was done paying, i asked her to wait because I thought she was fun to talk to. We met the Next day for cocktail and heavily made out. (very funny tho – she said herself: can you please kiss me)… but we have not slept together yet because she went out of town early Friday morning.
Now the question is: how did i do it??
#1 – I used a combination of teasing about her groceries and right away commented about her energy and pasture (suggestion from the gold walk-up video)
#2- Most importantly, I blocked out the environment that was around me to the point where I did not even looked at the cashier – I simply handed her the money, I never lost eye contact with the girl. Needless to say I did not care about the line i was holding behind me … I was busy.
#3 – I spotted a subway inside the store and I invited her to sit-down which is where i ran my patterns.
… I’m finding out that when you capture the person’s attention, girls don’t care about other people looking at them as long as you are not doing something insulting.
The key i think is to incorporate everything naturally and control the environment and your time because at the checkout line, I said a lot to her in less then 2 minutes.
So my philosophy is: my first initial contact is my first date – so the logistic is where I am. And I push things to the limit as long as she is in front of me and I’m now attempting to bring them back home with me on the spot – but it hasn’t happened yet in that manner. But I did it with classmates multiple time already (the first time I speak to them … I sit in class I just don’t talk to them if the moment is now right but the minute it is, I go for it).
PS: I have a C*CK-tail date a cute odontologist this Saturday – wish me fun cause I’m gonna bring it.
lol I’m having so much fun right now 🙂
@Nico Verily, I tell you: you are not far from the Kingdom of Sargy
Hi ross and fellow ss,
I have a quick question about questions.
What i mean when i say that is that, i have recently started to use the “are u a folder a roller or thrower” pattern after the opener, and they do get engaged, but out of the few sarges i did with this i have had a few woman ask “y so many question”, that doesn’t feel right, is that meant to happen?