Dear Seeker of Success,
A student of mine reported in on a recent coaching call with a question about getting laid.
(Yeah… I know… calling Speed Seduction® about getting laid? Who’da thunk??!?)
Anywho…
He’s been seeing her for a couple weeks. He’s 34, she’s 39. She’s never been married. She’s interested in having kids (and knows she better get a move on). Not exactly “older woman” territory but still enough to check in on how to succeed with older women.
He’s decided he’s interested in her romantically, just not for a one-night stand.
There’s a catch though: she wants to be “exclusive” BEFORE she and my student have sex.
That’s an odd request.
It’s especially odd, because
That’s Like Saying, She’ll Only Buy
The Car After She Enjoys Driving
It For A Year!
Now, let’s set aside that you should never start thinking “dating” until you’ve already done the Mattress Mambo.
For now.
In this specific circumstance, my response would be,
I understand exclusivity, but how can we make that pledge to each other if we don’t even know how good the sex is? Sex is important to me. What if we had sex and you don’t like it? Would you still want to be exclusive with me?
I understand what you’re saying. You’re saying you want to feel emotionally safe with the person you’re having sex with. I agree with you. You say you want to be exclusive with me. How do you know the sex will be good? We have to see how it goes.
It’s kind of a weird double bind, but here’s what’s probably going on in her mind: “I don’t have time to waste. I want to find a life partner.”
Remember That Very Few People,
Especially Women, Can’t Often Give
Voice To Their Real Emotional Need
I’d take it a little deeper and say,
What is this really about? You can tell me. Are you asking if I’m open to being exclusive with someone?
Remember: a woman’s first response isn’t her only response.
If you get her sufficiently turned on, she may f*ck anyway.
Back up and try again.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. The Parable of the Beach Ball, which we cover here, places all of your girl-getting skills into a brand-new perspective and bounces you to the land of Moist Pink Abundance!
Click here now and see everything that’s coming your way now >>>
I find this kind of funny though.
The student first asks about “getting laid”, and then ends up in doubt of whether or not to get into an “exclusive” relationship with one girl.. who is 39 years old.. who is obviously looking for a “provider” and a “father” and probably doesn’t want to waste too much time and wants to get it as fast as possible.
I’d just stay away from this woman.
There are SO many women out there.. their numbers are never ending.. I’d just find a polite way to “end” the connection with this woman.. and go find another girl who will be much more suitable for all of this.
Its like your old saying.. “I safeguard my morale at all times, I swiftly size up a woman’s potential and eliminate those who are wasting my time” 😉
@Miki
The student may be looking to settle down; so these things matter to him as he’s looking toward a life mate and not just a one-time Mattress Macarena.
Speed Seduction is also good for cutting through the BS to find a girlfriend or wife, if you’re so inclined.
Hey Ross thats a great post. By the way your method of transforming fear into charisma on youtube is working tremendously.That method where you take out your fear enery and bounce it like a basketball and throw the fear energy on a basketball hop…..I dont know its name but thats a great deal.Thanks man.
Yes we spend time on that concept in The New Code 2.0
Hi Ross. I am new to this, would The New Code 2.0 be the right course to choose or is it too advanced? If not, can you advise on a course to get for the newbie who wants to go all the way, thanks. Steve.
@Steve
Rapid and Total Success With Women is the “starting point”. Go Deluxe and get the extras, you’ll love them.