Dear Speed Seduction® Master-In-Training,
A terrible scourge is ravaging the land… a malady so insidious, so pervasive, so malevolent… stifling Sarges before they see the light of day and causing an outbreak of lonely nights for smart guys everywhere.
The “romance” industry is rejoicing in their profits windfall. Rosie and her sisters have never had such a lucky streak as they are on now, because of this nefarious ill wind.
What am I referring to? It’s an epidemic known as Oneitis.
Simply: Oneitis is a state where a man’s entire energy gets placed, or sucked, into ONE woman. Symptoms include anxiety, worry, scarcity, and un-clarity, not to mention picking daisies and pulling the pedals and mumbling, “She likes me, she likes me not.” Oneitis will have a man betting his entire girl-getting game on ONE chick who he’s not even dating yet.
(Remember: dating is what you do with women you’re already sleeping with, not that one you met yesterday who you’re hoping to run into today so you can ask for her phone number so you can call her sometime to see if maybe she’d like to…. excuse me…. I’m gonna be sick just THINKING about it.)
Why am I issuing this public Sarge health warning about Oneitis today?
In response to a recent issue of “Steaming Hot Seduction Secrets,” a student told me about this chick he’s into. He says they are “just friends” and never do anything more than talk on the phone. She moved away recently and they’re 5 states apart, yet these endless phone calls continue. He says it’s the best relationship he’s had with a woman. Because he cares about her so much, he doesn’t even want to look at another woman.
Huh?!?!?!
This statement strikes me sad, and perfectly illustrates the evils perpetrated by this scourge, Oneitis. Oh my stars and garters!
If you’re in a situation like this, you are coming from SUCH poverty. It’s like a man who has lived in dark shanty or hovel his whole life, with no running water. At random intervals, someone comes along and offers him a few fetid drops of mucky water probably scooped out of a drainage ditch. And he steps out of the hovel and mentally carries THAT image as the best he can have.
Look: when you are Sarging on a chick, remain interested in the woman, but not invested in scoring with her as the “end goal.” Your goal is to not only succeed with her, but also hone and sharpen your girl-getting skills that will get you laid ten times over by women you, up until now, never dreamed would actually give YOU the f@@king time of day.
Let’s band together and send this dastardly evil, Oneitis, back to the dark hole it crawled out of!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Sick and tired of letting sexy, beautiful women pass right in front of you while you sit there virtually paralyzed because you’re “stuck” on this one chick who runs hot and cold? You’ve got Oneitis. I have the cure – click here to get your Oneitis-busting prescription!
Beautiful, Ross! I have been for a year married to a woman I have known for almost 20 years. Much as I love her, this attitude that she is not the only delightful woman in the world is part of what makes things wonderful between us. If anyone does not understand this, it is sad.
Oneitis truly is an evil thing. The problem is that it tends to strike most “nice” guys, the guys who least deserve to be hurt, but it’s just the way of the world. Accept the nature of the scourge and it’ll protect you from its wrath.
Damn straight, Ross. That industry doesn’t do us any favors by reinforcing the archaic notion that “One person” is all you need and they’ll magically complete your life (Note that the old sorceror on Eharmony is always saying “When you’re ready to find that ONE person…” Ahem, where’s yours, Gramps? You’re alone in all the ads).
The two main problems with Oneitis:
1. If you think you need another person to ‘complete you’, you’ll never be complete.
2. Pity the ‘One person’ if you DO find them and get into a relationship with them, because you’re eventually going to drive them nuts (and away) by ‘fixing’ all the things you don’t like about them, which are things they might be fine with. (It’s the old “I love you, you’re perfect, now change” syndrome.)
At first I hear faintly, but yes, it the sound of a fife and yes the beat of a drum. I run to house and grab a handful of grub and clothes. I leave quickly before she misses me, but I must heed the call. I must, as all good men do; join the cause. I must defend the rights of my countrymen. I run down the path now to join the small band. I know it will grow larger. Now I am with them, marching proud and tall, knowing that, if I give my all, the scourge of “Oneitis” can be swept from this land of dating masturbators. I do now salute you Ross Napoleon Jeffries, oh captain my captain. My future is at you right hand. Where you lead I follow. I do not reason why. Mine is but to cum and die.
Danny
Amazing!!
I got sad recgnizing that I was just in that SUCH POOR situation! but now I’m glad to start another change!
It’s the first time a left my comment in a long time reading the free lessons cause it really got me!
thanks a lot ross, I’ll become your customer as soon as I can!!
Amen! Hot chicks don’t go for clingy dudes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with one woman; but there is EVERYTHING wrong with thinking that there is only one woman you can ever be with. Even worse is hanging around for weeks, months or years for this vision of perfection to turn up in your life, ignoring great women because they fail to tick one box on your enormous tick list. I have done this and it means you miss out on a lot of fun with some great women. It also leads to a lot of hurt because when you do find someone you are so bad at interacting with women you mess it up anyway. It is not “fall in love leads to friendship leads to sex” it is the other way around. I only wish I knew all the stuff Ross teaches twenty years ago; everything he says is true.
thanks for heads up Ross, you are so right. I am fighting one-itis now with this girl who works at the coffee shop near me. It is very insidious how this malady can affect your overall sarging. It has such a subtle negative effect on your overall perspective as you sense you are putting an inordinate amount of energy into 1 girsl who you have not even been with yet. Ouch!
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