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    David P. Bellamy June 22, 2010, 12:29 pm

    Beautiful, Ross! I have been for a year married to a woman I have known for almost 20 years. Much as I love her, this attitude that she is not the only delightful woman in the world is part of what makes things wonderful between us. If anyone does not understand this, it is sad.

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    Mithra June 22, 2010, 12:32 pm

    Oneitis truly is an evil thing. The problem is that it tends to strike most “nice” guys, the guys who least deserve to be hurt, but it’s just the way of the world. Accept the nature of the scourge and it’ll protect you from its wrath.

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    KK June 22, 2010, 1:10 pm

    Damn straight, Ross. That industry doesn’t do us any favors by reinforcing the archaic notion that “One person” is all you need and they’ll magically complete your life (Note that the old sorceror on Eharmony is always saying “When you’re ready to find that ONE person…” Ahem, where’s yours, Gramps? You’re alone in all the ads).

    The two main problems with Oneitis:
    1. If you think you need another person to ‘complete you’, you’ll never be complete.
    2. Pity the ‘One person’ if you DO find them and get into a relationship with them, because you’re eventually going to drive them nuts (and away) by ‘fixing’ all the things you don’t like about them, which are things they might be fine with. (It’s the old “I love you, you’re perfect, now change” syndrome.)

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    Danny June 22, 2010, 1:25 pm

    At first I hear faintly, but yes, it the sound of a fife and yes the beat of a drum. I run to house and grab a handful of grub and clothes. I leave quickly before she misses me, but I must heed the call. I must, as all good men do; join the cause. I must defend the rights of my countrymen. I run down the path now to join the small band. I know it will grow larger. Now I am with them, marching proud and tall, knowing that, if I give my all, the scourge of “Oneitis” can be swept from this land of dating masturbators. I do now salute you Ross Napoleon Jeffries, oh captain my captain. My future is at you right hand. Where you lead I follow. I do not reason why. Mine is but to cum and die.

    Danny

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    Brazilizan June 22, 2010, 3:28 pm

    Amazing!!
    I got sad recgnizing that I was just in that SUCH POOR situation! but now I’m glad to start another change!
    It’s the first time a left my comment in a long time reading the free lessons cause it really got me!
    thanks a lot ross, I’ll become your customer as soon as I can!!

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    Zarathud June 22, 2010, 9:03 pm

    Amen! Hot chicks don’t go for clingy dudes.

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    PV in the UK June 23, 2010, 3:29 am

    There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with one woman; but there is EVERYTHING wrong with thinking that there is only one woman you can ever be with. Even worse is hanging around for weeks, months or years for this vision of perfection to turn up in your life, ignoring great women because they fail to tick one box on your enormous tick list. I have done this and it means you miss out on a lot of fun with some great women. It also leads to a lot of hurt because when you do find someone you are so bad at interacting with women you mess it up anyway. It is not “fall in love leads to friendship leads to sex” it is the other way around. I only wish I knew all the stuff Ross teaches twenty years ago; everything he says is true.

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    Aaron June 25, 2010, 1:19 am

    thanks for heads up Ross, you are so right. I am fighting one-itis now with this girl who works at the coffee shop near me. It is very insidious how this malady can affect your overall sarging. It has such a subtle negative effect on your overall perspective as you sense you are putting an inordinate amount of energy into 1 girsl who you have not even been with yet. Ouch!

  • Oneitis – Getting Over It July 26, 2012, 12:05 pm

    […] You can check out more of ross jeffries stuff here: oneitis. […]

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