Dear Seeker of Success,
Some time ago, I covered the importance of creating genuine curiosity within yourself as a key to turbo-charging your success with women. Not just about women, but about EVERYTHING.
Curiosity serves a critical purpose. What are all the different ways to learn more about a woman in such a way to learn how she processes, so I can use these processes to persuade her more effectively?
Here are some thoughts:
A key point about Speed Seduction® is to look for process rather than object or thing. Meaning, look for ongoing activity rather than a “thing” or a “person” called a “girl”.
There is no such “thing’ as love, meaning love is not an object like a car or a truck. Our language tends to take ongoing experience, flow and process and turn it into a frozen, fixed, unchanging and unchangeable “entity” or “condition”.
Thus, “I HAVE depression” or “I AM depressed” as opposed to, “I am depressing” or “I am doing depression”.
Next, get curious about your own processes. When you feel excited, how are you creating that?
Get curious about how and when people discovered their interests and passions.
When a woman tells me she does martial arts, I am not so interested in what kind. I am far MORE interested in how she first discovered she enjoyed it. And what is it that maintains that interest and passion? What is it that she finds most enjoyable and most challenging?
Here’s another hint: listen for when women reveal any kind of process that involves their imagination and fantasies and obsessions. If, for instance, she mentions that sometimes she gets bored at work and drifts off into daydreams, don’t go blasting past that.
She’s just volunteered something about a very useful process that we can take hold of and link to ourselves.
Here’s another one: listen for her person metaphor.
I was working with a student who said, “I feel like I am going off the deep end”.
Now, that’s not anything that is literally happening. He wasn’t actually standing at a swimming pool at the deep end. It was a metaphoric way of envisioning his experience that wasn’t serving him.
And he wasn’t even aware he was using a metaphor.
I untied that by forbidding him to use any metaphors when describing challenging emotional flows. He is allowed to say, “I am feeling a state of frustration” or “I am feeling a state of sadness”. That is more literal and more useful.
These are just some hints.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Learn how to tap the “operating system” of the female psyche to practically force her to become attracted to you when you immerse yourself in the learn-at-home-now Speed Seduction®, starting now.
Thanks, Ross, for the reminder…that the world is fluid, changing, constantly in process, never to be locked into place. I need to be reminded of that, and the application of that insight to dealing with ANY other human being.
I feel with that explanation you just took off another ‘lid’ or ripped away another wall from a blocked-off section of this experience we call “life”.
Thanks. Be fun. Leslie
Wow thank you so much this is awesome
Hi Rj
I’m feeling a state of gratitude, you are ROCKING
Ross
“If, for instance, she mentions that sometimes she gets bored at work and drifts off into daydreams, don’t go blasting past that.
She’s just volunteered something about a very useful process that we can take hold of and link to ourselves.”
How do we take hold of and link the her process to ourselves?
Ross
I wanted to let you know that your stuff works and I have proven it to myself but the last time I did a pattern something went wrong. I used a dream theme to tell about the special person in her life and how they were meant for each other blah blah blah.
Everything worked out well but the babe that I did the pattern on went on to have sex with her ex whom she left 3 years earlier within a month of unleashing the pattern on her. Whenever I mentioned that special person I subtly pointed to my self but maybe it wasn’t strong enough and perhaps somehow it made her think it was her ex instead of me. Where did I go wrong.
Please answer.
@Yung
I wouldn’t know for sure, I wasn’t there. And how do you know he was ever her “ex”? He might have been her “current” all along and she was window-shopping you to audition alternative candidates, but decided in the end to stick with Mr. Borefriend.
If you want to speak with me 1:1 consider the Coaching Program which gives you this opportunity.