Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
A student reported to me that even though he studies my teachings and practices the skills, at various – sometimes random – instances he’ll choke when he sees a beautiful woman.
The anxiety will kick in so strong, he just won’t approach her. Especially if she’s really hot.
One of the definitions of the word “anxiety” per dictionary.com is “Distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.”
No wonder he’s choking up.
My suggestion to overcome anxiety: begin by thinking about “anxiety” from a different angle.
Anxiety is often just over-excitement at the promise of progress and pleasure.
Three Steps To Overcoming Anxiety By Redefining It
First, learn to breathe and ground in. This video is a bit grainy as it’s been around for about 10 years now, but it excellently demonstrates the process in detail. Watch. Do the practice.
Second, if anxiety wasn’t there at all, what would be there? It isn’t enough to get rid of something; give your mind a vision or goal to aim at. What WOULD you be feeling?
Finally, what meaning do you attach to approaching women? Proof of your value as a human, proof of your attractiveness? What would a more empowering and even more fun meaning be?
Work on this and let me know how it helps.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Among the many seduction technologies we teach at our live 3-day seminars is how to use anything in your environment or situation to always know exactly what to say to a woman. Click here to get this at our next seminar in Montreal (September 9-11).
Very cool energy hacks!
What are some good reads to learn more about this stuff, other than your own materials?
@Leif The Science of Enlightenment by Shinzen Young-a CD/MP3 course on Amazon.
Thanks a lot Ross, will try that now every day till the sarging day
You can also say anxiety is a ramification of the attempt to achieve pleasure 😉
@Larry You might also say that anxiety is just how you experience excitement when you freeze and congeal around it. Or excitement is how you experience anxiety when you loosen up and let it flow. Hmmm….
Hey Ross,
Another angle on anxiety which has helped me apply some of your stuff came from a guy I recently saw giving a talk on confidence building. He talked about the way we’re actually hardwired by evolution to experience anxiety as a normal phenomenon, using this example: Two caveman are strolling through the valley, and they hear a rustle in the bushes. The first one gets anxious, and his body prepares him to either fight the beast or get the frick out of there (“fight or flight”). The second one thinks “Puh! It’s just a sparrow.” Now he’s NOT the one that we evolved from!
This guy then spoke about the anxiety he still feels with public speaking, even though he now does it all the time, but said it no longer bothers him because it just gets him ready for action and he still enjoys it immensely, anxiety or not.
Some time later, I was sitting at a cafe reading this guy’s book when I saw this hot young woman I wanted to talk to. After a few more paragraphs I put the book down, ignored the anxiety and went straight up to her, and ended up having a good chat for about ten minutes.
The way I figure now, if something you want to do makes you feel anxious or scared, it means it’s worth doing, and the anxiety helps to make the experience that much more memorable, and in fact makes it a lot more fun when you realise you can follow through and take action in spite of the fear.
Yeh Ross interesting, seen something like that before, whats your take on affarmations good/bad?
Ross, as usual, you are right on target.
As a coach helping people overcome all kinds of anxiety. The breath is one of the key foundation concepts that empowers change.
Redefining what the feelings in our bodies mean is another.
My heartfelt thanks to you for your leadership, guidance and example.
yours truly,
Mark
@Mark Thanks. Great domain name. Let’s talk about some business, perhaps.
Strange, i did this exercise and this imagery popped into my mind immediately following.
i saw two floating landmasses in the clouds, i was on one of them, looking across at the other(1st person). in between those giant rocks was a small bridge. at first i stood there and thought, should i cross? what if i fall? Do i have the right gear? but after a short while i realized that you cant think yourself across the bridge. So i started walking, preparing for shaky winds and bad footing. Sure enough, they came at the middle point. but all i did was ground myself and it passed and i continued walking further. i noticed no bad wood so i knew that i made a good choice of bridge, it was fun though walking so far seeing the goal right in front of me. i then crossed it reaching the end, feeling safe, powerful, in control, knowing that if i prepare a little for wrongs yet step forward ill meet the end of the bridge.
But then i saw 3 other bridges connecting and wondered which would be good. so i tested the first, i could tell that it had bad ropes, no strong supports, so as i walked i realized if i continue, things may be bad for me, so i left and ironically the land came a bit closer before stopping. The second bridge led to another place, it was foggy, i didnt know what to do so i crossed anyways and halfway through i noticed that the fog got heavier and it was harder and harder to see the progress to see where to go but i knew that if i put one foot in front the other and stick to my beliefs, i would cross. Sure enough i did. I looked back, wondering about the third bridge i missed but i payed it no mind since it was gone anyways. i cant cross every bridge can i?
then the realization came to mind, what if the land represents people and the bridge is how we connect. i dunno ross, this is just some weird shit that popped into my mind.
(to be honest, im not sure it should even be posted in this blog but you know, no point in experiencing something interesting without sharing it.)
@Jo thanks for sharing. The mind runs on metaphor and imagery so good for you. See how it translates to practical, real world results. Does it get your ass moving in a fun and effective way and move you to way more action and far less analysis/paralysis?
RJ
AH.. wait a second, i did something i normally would never do just today. It could be coincidence but its the first thing that came to mind.
For my final exam i came dressed in the silliest of clothes, a Santa hat, a sports long pants and a black goth shirt, just for laughs. It was a bit scary for a second wondering how people would react but i did it anyways and i had so much fun watching how people reacted. I just thought, “hmm let me try something new and different, and since im already doing it why not make it weirder with the Santa hat” :D. At points i felt super silly and wanted to take off the hat but i just stopped and calmed my mind and thought “jo, how often do you see a silly guy in a silly hat? its a story? its just something to laugh at, so wear others happiness with confidence.” Afterwards i just felt confident for the whole day.
man ross i dont know whats up with this stuff you got to offer but. If i can expect more of this, i think im gonna get into this a lot deeper and trust you. my hunch is that its a bit scary for a second but then something much more interesting happens.
ps. i remember hearing something like that but i could never imagine how the deeper pictures and metaphors of the mind translate into concrete action. i kinda thought they were all just fantasies and reality is reality. I mean, i KNOW nlp but even knowing it, fully believing everything you hear is a bit tough unless its proven in my own flesh. Man i dunno, i feel like a kid that discovered the force.