When She Calls Back, But Doesn’t Say Yes

Dear Seeker of Success,

We already know that the moment a woman gives you a phone number instead of a commitment to a specific action, your chances of getting laid take a huge hit.

This happened to a student of mine.  He met her at an event… they did some slow-dancing but he couldn’t get her beyond the phone number, try as he might.

So, he followed a sequence of leaving messages that did not get returned, leading up to the Answering Machine Intruder, which did get a response as follows:

“Let me start off with apologizing on how rude I’ve been by not returning any of your calls or text. It was lovely meeting you but I’ll be honest I was in the wrong for giving you my number.  I had a little too much to drink and at the time actually had a boyfriend. Him and I recently have gone our separate ways and it sucks…I’m in a very emotional part of my life right now so I just feel that I need to respond out of respect for your feelings because your human and deserve an explanation so thanks for trying to pursue me but think its best if it comes to a stop. Take care.”

How can he respond to this?

It helps to remember a few things:

1. Don’t take a woman’s first response as written in stone. Often they don’t really know how they actually feel or they have contradictory feelings.
2. Sooner or later, SOMEONE is going to f@@k her. Why not you?
3. Generally speaking, we want to avoid making it look like we are “pursuing”. It gives the wrong implication about the power dynamic and it’s anti-challenge… and women LOVE a challenge.

Some principles:

• NEVER ARGUE
• Don’t pursue.
• Express agreement
• Use a metaphor to reframe
• Use vagueness
• Don’t invest

Try this as a response,

“Hey, thanks for being so courteous and kind and direct with me. That’s way more than most women would have the courage to do.  One lesson I’ve learned is that even in the middle of any kind of storm, the winds and the waves can find an instant change – and we find a calm that helps us realize, you want to explore again. Should you find yourself discovering that’s what’s happening, why don’t you give me a call…see what you’ve been missing?”

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By the way, if you can leave this as a voice message with the right tonality, even better!

Peace,

RJ

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