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  • Avatar
    The Great Roberto September 5, 2010, 6:52 pm

    Hey Ross. I have almost all of your products now. I am currently going through hyper responsive, haven’t yet played frame control,. but will soon. thanks to your advice and teachings, my meditation practice now has discipline and structure. & I’ve been meditating for over 16 years. I’m at the point now where I can feel your genuine intent for thorough teaching! and I support and applaud you. I will attend a live seminar in the near future. your work is noting less than amazing and I know the future holds more genius. coming from a fellow genius. 😉

    • Avatar
      Ross Jeffries September 7, 2010, 12:06 pm

      @The Great Roberto Thanks so much for that; it makes me happy to see that you are using what I am teaching, especially with your meditation practice now having discipline and structure.

      Oftentimes it may seem like your practice isn’t doing anything. You sit for half an hour or more and all you feel is that pain in your foot. But over time that willingness to be present and attentive and allowing with what IS will begin to spread subtly into other areas of your life, without you even trying.

      Finally, I give full and complete credit to my teacher of teacher’s, Shinzen Young. Everything I am teaching about meditation arises from what he has taught. You can find his work here and I can’t recommend him highly enough.

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    seismic September 6, 2010, 1:08 am

    Thanks Ross !

    Today’s post was actually quite eye-opening to me. Trying to avoid or eliminate anxiety ( as some other guru’s are preaching ) is not the most best way to results-bringing solutions. Maybe anxiety works on your side if you know how to deal with it properly. I lately listened to one of your collegues and he suggested that in the past he was trying to be relaxed and healthy in all situations at all costs but soon he realized that it just won’t work.

    greetings,
    Seismic

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    wayahead September 6, 2010, 2:36 am

    When I don’t know what to do, I make the choice and take the action that moves me even closer to the kind of person I am already more and more becoming.

    That’s really kicks a great deal of big asses.

    Keep going Ross.

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    AJ September 6, 2010, 6:55 am

    Hi Ross.

    Dynamite stuff. I found a great belief that helped me with acceptance confidence: ‘I let her have whatever responses to me she’s going to have, without trying to control her.’ I felt old beliefs and their energy just drop away after i installed this. It really helped me get out of the I-know-but-i-don’t-do phase.

    Looking forward to part III

    AJ

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    TEXAN September 6, 2010, 8:36 am

    Meta Meta Meta….pretty cool.

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    Chris September 6, 2010, 2:51 pm

    “I give women what they’ve always wanted.”

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    John September 7, 2010, 7:16 pm

    Ross, Acceptance confidence is a life changer…I’ve really been working on this lately. Two nights ago, I made eye contact with a smoking hot natural blonde…she’s 25 and a 9.0 and I’m 47 overweight and bald. I didn’t want to get up from my seat and approach her because there was no room near her…crowded bar…there was an empty seat near me and so I smiled at her, made eye contact and pointed her to the seat next to me with my head. She almost instantly got up walked over and sat down…she opened with…”any man confident enough to summon me over with only his eyes and a head toss has to be interestsint to talk to”. We talked about an hour that night and then got together last night and she spent the night riding my cape canaveral shuttle. Just wondering what woiuld happen if I tried that and then accepting the discomfort of not knowing and going for it just for fun was a huge attractant to her. Thanks for teaching us how to have acceptance confidence

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    Zarathud September 8, 2010, 5:15 am

    I wonder about thinking it’s necessary to be in some hyper-confident state to make progress. I wanted to talk to a girl yesterday and there was no way I was going to be in what I imagine is a real attractive state, but it was such a good opportunity, I did talk to her for a minute. It’s funny because she looked at me like, “What the F%#@ do YOU want?” and that somehow relaxed me a little. I guess SHE was pacing MY state.

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    tentacle September 8, 2010, 1:02 pm

    Hi Ross!
    How do you decide if it’s anxiety and not any other emotion like fear or excitation?

    Weren’t emotions invented by nature to guide people by providing a clue on what to do? If i go near a cliff, i feel fear for a reason. It wouldn’t make much sense to just accept the fear and continue, would it?

    Anyway, thanks for the article, it was an interesting and challenging read 🙂 even though i cannot agree with you yet.

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    Chunk E Geez September 9, 2010, 5:24 am

    True! And like you say, Ross, the idea of ‘acceptance confidence’ is so useful and applicable to other challenges in life as well. That is part of what makes mastering this so rewarding.

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    Alrick September 9, 2010, 7:34 am

    Ross, just today I was reading an interview in a magazine with Jeff Koons – you might know him, he is the only modern artist I ever went to a museum for. They asked what his biggest wish in life was, and he said:
    “The brual realism of doing what you always wanted to do: the only thing that keep you from doing is anxiety. In my belief the way to remove this anxiety, is to accept it.”

    I thought it was an interesting synchronicity.

    • Avatar
      Ross Jeffries September 9, 2010, 12:41 pm

      @Alrick Never heard of him, but he’s right.

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    dogster September 10, 2010, 1:52 pm

    triple A+ rating for this one. Anxiety (worry) about not being prepared is a killer. People are so much more likeable when their thoughts are transparent.

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    Markus September 10, 2010, 2:35 pm

    Shinzen would be proud of you I assume. If one really sticks to what you are saying one actually is on the path of enlightenment already. And that`s what I like about your approach Ross. It`s more like an all life changing to the better approach than just getting a random bitch into bed thing. And it`s great to see how you get people thinking about it. I guess teaching the wisdom of Zen via connecting it to the aim of having fun with girls is like bitter medicine put on a sugar cube. The medicine lastly will help you but without the sugar it sometimes is really hard to take. The sugar though makes it attractive even for those kind of “kids” that would never ever even have thought of taking the medicine alltogether. Keep it up Ross!

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    najoB September 11, 2010, 4:22 am

    Ross, what you’ve said here reminds me of a quote from Dune: “The mind can go either direction under stress–toward
    positive or toward negative: on or off. Think of it as a spectrum whose extremes
    are unconsciousness at the negative end and hyperconsciousness at the positive
    end. The way the mind will lean under stress is strongly influenced by
    training.”

    I find it exhilarating when a woman throws crap at me, expecting it to increase my anxiety, and I just smile knowingly 🙂 Usually, it confuses the crap out of them 🙂

    Whenever I do feel like anxiety might overwhelm me, I think back to the immortal words “for pure will, unassauged by purpose, and delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect”, and the anxiety turns into a mild amusement 🙂

    For the record, I’m fat, and my grandma fucked me up when I was kid by repeating “You gotta lose weight, no girl is ever gonna like you like this” – a wonderful self-fulfilling prophecy that lasted until I was 25. Until a girl saw through that crap, bedded me, and destroyed my wonderfully crafted illusion 🙂 Thankfully, I was well versed in Jung and magick, that I knew how to exploit that disillusionment. I have never used your stuff, but I do follow your blog, and I think that what you’re doing is effing awesome. I can understand why guys sometimes have a hard time believing what you say – they have no experience on which to base/compare the new information. I was the same way until I was 25 🙂 All I can say to those that doubt is: try it. What’ve you got to lose? 🙂

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    sonny September 11, 2010, 9:25 am

    Somebody would like to add ”Its your planet earth too!” just go and have fun:)

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    Brazilizan September 15, 2010, 2:45 pm

    Ross,
    I honestly have problems with the second believe. how can I decide what will I learn if I don’t know what is going to happen? but in spite of that I’m having progress sarging. I’ve used patterns two weeks ago after years stucked. And I am starting to undertand this stuff of dealing with anxiety. Thanks for your job! thaks for sharing your sistem!

    Brazilian

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    Bjarne September 20, 2010, 12:26 am

    “internal anxiety”. Well I think that you should be prepared that your feelings are not always that internal. It may leak out in a number ways, you heartbeat may become visible, you breathing may change, or you may flush. Also your speak may very easy be affected in some way (fast, slow, silent, shaky, or the words you use or the subject you use choose). The people around you may notice that, and may or may not have a reaction to it. They may mirror it (remember they could be feeling anxiety too), laugh or she may just look a little too long at your hand. – You cannot just ignore her reactions to you. E.g. If she says “OMG your hands are shaking” you will of cause have an answer ready. And it will be an aswer that demontrate your acceptance of this whole situation.
    Also notice: If you have strong desire to suppress you anxiety, she will in fact point out your failure, with any reaction she might have.

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    Bjarne September 20, 2010, 12:27 am

    @tentacle – Yes emotion are usually a very good guide in what to do. Unfortunately our system can be programmed in a way that is not in our advantage. One of the bigger challences in overcomming a social phobia (compared to e.g. a snake phobia) is that you will still have to make good decisions, otherwise you may get into real trouble (like not getting what you want 🙂 Think of it as a noise entering your system: You will have to learn to pickup the right go/nogo signal even in this case.

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    Shmuel November 22, 2010, 6:31 am

    I think that what you say here is true for learning anything new,not just meeting girls.

    If you want to switch carrears, because you hate youre job, anxiety starts because you dont know what to do, youve never done it before.

    If you want to open a bussiness doing something you love, again you face anxiety and most peopole avoid opening a business because of that reason.

    It’s also true of learning any skill, if you divorce and for the first time in youre life you have to learn to cook for yourself, again you feel anxiety doing this new thing youve never done before.
    To finish the argument I will point out that learning to fish, which is a very relaxing activity, you just sit there and cast youre line and wait, can be very stressfull the first time youre doing it.
    “What am I doing?? I’ll make an idiot of myself, ill hurt myself it wont work AAAaaaHHH!!!!”
    And it really comes to youre frame of mind.
    You can have a negative or panicky frame of mind or the one you suggested.
    I think im going to use this in all aspects of my life, Thanks.:)

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