Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
The next student who tells me how he at one point was a total Seduction master, but lately feels like he belongs back in Sargy kindergarten, will be far from the first.
Case in point, this one student telling me about his “slump” after earlier World Series results with women:
> However that said, I haven’t been able to end a big slump I’m experiencing currently, and I really need to ask some advice from you guys. About this time last year I had had sex with about 7 very attractive women in a 10 month span, and VERY NEARLY had sex with twice that number. I was really improving in my skills. But something happened and I have been completely unable to figure it out on my own.
A few suggestions:
First: Sarging in the right way requires a good state, which requires good physical energy and health.
When my sarging is slumping, for me, there is only ONE reason: physiology. I’m probably not sleeping or exercising or meditating or breathing or eating right.
How is your physical health? How are you doing with your sleeping etc etc?
Second: are you ignoring basics and getting sloppy? When we get on a big win streak, sometimes we start getting very sloppy and leaving out important skills/steps/practices/realizations etc.
Third: Has your vibe become more, shall we say, predatory? Take a good, objective look at yourself and ask if maybe you might want to add some genuine curiosity and compassion for people in general and women in particular. Inject some curiosity and genuine warmth in there and see what happens.
Fourth: on a social level, did you do some women wrong in a fairly close circle of people/friends? Maybe you’ve got a rep as a usurous asshole among a tight knit group of girls/guys? I don’t know, but it is worth asking.
Fifth: this could be reality’s way of saying: stop. You want something different/other/in addition to just fucking around. Maybe a part of you doesn’t just want to fuck. Not knocking just fucking, just saying maybe you on a deep level don’t want to do it anymore. Or at least not ONLY that.
Sixth: anything going on in other areas of life that might be making you more needy in your vibe? How is your personal life outside of women? Job? Business? Family? Any of these can affect sarging. When my sister died of cancer several years ago, I couldn’t sarge a hooker with a fistful of Benjamins.
Finally, you might just want to drop back and focus on basic meeting/greeting/rapport skills. Take the pressure off. Or go teach someone else as a way of reviewing skills yourself.
Let me know how these suggestions resonate and then go do some.
PR (aka RJ)
P.S. Inside Speed Seduction® 3.0 I unveil how to break through slumps WITHOUT pushing through pain using techniques and tools for seduction “super-learning”. Beat the slump and make the jump >>>
RJ-
What do you think about soul mates? I don’t mean the mushy romance marketter bs but rather, some one a person can truly connect with on a subconscious and meta physical level to keep for the long haul. It seems to me older generations of Americans had long term relational viability where today it’s like a revolving door. I believe in quality over quantity. I’d rather have a deep connection with someone than just a superficial fling.
You keep mentioning hookers. Do you have anything serious to say about that either as a way of dealing with extreme issues or itself being an issue requiring more specialized work than your standard teaching?
I need to put some work into number six…
Hi,
I just want to say that I think that #’s 5 & 6 are probably the biggest things.
I met this one fellow, he told me how he wanted to meet women, and all these things while he was living in his car. Personally I thought maybe he should change his focus and get a life, so he has something to offer women besides that he gets to sleep in their bed, but heck that was just my thoughts.
Back to the tracks though, let’s say you are going around getting all these women to feel this incredible sense of attraction, at some point if you keep dumping women just because you can get more, I think a part of you might realize that’s kinda shitty, and so you find that it’s harder to do things like that.
So the thing is, when you are a sargy master (which I don’t pretend to be since I am happy with my long term relationships, though I have had women 20+ years younger than me asking me to go out with them even within the last year) are you leaving women better off than when you found them, or at least making an effort to do so? I realize some women are stalker like (at least I’ve had that problem where some woman I thought was just casual would pop up at my house unannounced), but at least try to make the world a better place, there is nothing wrong with no strings attached sex, but don’t make some woman feel like this is the love of her life, that you are her soul mate, and then shit all over her. That’s just wrong (and I’ve heard guys brag about how they did that, so I know that there are “sargy masters” who do such things).
But these are just my thoughts.
Ha! Amazing, I was the student who posted this on the SS list, and Ross your advice as usual was very effective. The biggest thing was getting away from what made me good at it in the first place. I had worked very hard at getting the fundamentals down so that I could just flow with the material AND I had let go of my attachment to outcome. Once I started NEEDING results, that’s when I stopped getting them. I approached a lot less and I slacked off in doing the ground work that gave me that kind of momentum.
The things that really had me getting good results was my good state, and I achieved that state from regularly doing the SS drills and meditations, they gave me peace of mind and most of all the acceptance confidence to just go for it and not think of what could go wrong, in addition to staying active physically.
Helping me get back to results from that slump was as follows:
-DO THE DRILLS AND EXERCISES, especially to quiet the mind, visualize positive outcomes and let go of need for results.
-Stay active physically (cannot emphasized this enough).
-Doing it because it’s FUN and you enjoy the interaction and learning about her, not because you need some tail.
-RELAX, it’s not a big deal to approach and meet a cute girl who has never had someone give her the feelings you’re about to.
Thanks Paul!
p.s. since you mentioned the World Series and all: GO GIANTS and DODGER SUCK! :]
This article is BOMB. Everything you say here is killer. I especially like number five. Sometimes I get so caught up in gaming girls that it becomes completely exhausting. Lately I’ve been thinking about getting a girlfriend so that I can focus on other things. But then again… I do love being single =s We’ll see what happens but thanks for the advice Paul!
@Maczilla
That’s why I get paid the big bucks, to clarify the foggy and de-mystify the mystery. (No joke intended).
EXCELLENT ADVICE MR ROSS!