Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Let’s talk about younger women.
For a lot of guys who want to succeed with younger women, a lot of stuff goes on in their head…
“She’s too young.” “You’re too old.” “How could you have anything in common?” “May-December romances never work.” “Shouldn’t you be focused on ‘age-appropriate’ women?”
Up until the moment, maybe you thought it couldn’t be done, that it’s impossible to enjoy the attention and company of a younger woman. Social programming played a role too (“you dirty old man”).
Some guys take the opposite and equally debilitating approach – the need to succeed with every one of them.
To successfully approach and seduce younger women requires that you do a few things differently.
First of all, don’t compliment her on her looks. In other words, don’t approach a younger woman with, “Oh my God. You’re really beautiful.”
DO be intriguing. The key is to intrigue and fascinate her. With a younger woman, the first step toward getting her body turned on is to get her curious and intrigued. It’s rare that she’ll get her body turned on and be aware of being aroused in her body the first time you talk to her. It’s faster and easier to intrigue her.
Remember: this is SPEED Seduction®. Once you have her intrigued, leaning forward and really curious about the interaction, then start sexualizing.
Keep it outside of the dating framework. Don’t say, “I’d like to take you out.” Instead try, “Let’s hang out. I don’t have a lot of time, but I have a little bit of a window here. Let’s hang out and I’ll show you some cool things about how things work in your mind.” Or something along those lines.
Create a space for yourself where you’re totally, absolutely, fundamentally and deeply okay with the fact it’s just not going to get anywhere with 4 out of 5 younger women. But that’s fine. No older guy would get anywhere with them. It’s not you.
You must understand: your numbers won’t necessarily be as good. I guesstimate about 20% to 25% of young women are seriously open to an older guy. Here’s the thing, though: when she’s open, she’s REALLY open.
You Have To Know Who Your “Market” Is
Your market (so to speak) is a younger woman who’s really adventurous and already into her body. She knows there’s a lot more she’s missing about what she could experience, and a guy her age isn’t going to give it to her.
She’s unconventional in her thinking. She’s willing to think for herself and likes to be challenged. At the same time, she’s not a flake. She’s honorable and shows up.
It’s sort of like mining for gold or diamonds. When you find her, she’s wonderful.
Is it worth the work? Absolutely.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Among the 175+ laser-focused modules inside the Speed Seduction® Secret Training Collection you will find two modules – almost 30 minutes of teaching – on this subject alone.
[…] the rest here: Succeed With Younger Women: Key Understandings No […]
Thanks for the words of wisdom and experience from the Master, RJ.
Never underestimate the negative power of bad social programming and cultural conditioning guys. If you neglect anything RJ listed above she WILL shut right down on you. Not may, not might, she WILL shut right down. Always, and I mean ALWAYS address her “as if” she’s a mature responsible adult. Especially, when she’s not behaving like one. Remember, at that age she’s not accustomed to being addressed like an grown woman. Much less having an “older man” treat her like one. This will frequently be the combination to the proverbial lock. Who else recognizes the mature, intelligent, vibrant woman she is? Her snot nosed, pimple faced “20 something” bore-friend? (Snicker). Pre-set the frame from before you even approach her, that you do recognize and value the fact that she’s a grown woman, and that you’re just two people who enjoy each others company. . . Ready! Aim! Sarge!!!
@Thomas Verily, I tell you: thou art not far from the Kingdom of Sarge.
I have to say that up until last month, this very issue haunted me. I’ve claimed my ability to screen for the sexy, hot, and amazing erotic young coeds that please and satisfy me. Once you begin to understand that these young women will flake in a heart beat, it’s important to remember your core beliefs about women, specifically: “No matter what she says or does, I control my state and where my energy goes.”
It’s is a relief when you are able to “be OK” (or to have equanimity) with whatever one of these young beauties throws your way. Also, it allows me to focus on going for more with SOMEONE ELSE. The learning belief that I install weekly and has led me to STOP ruminating on what I now consider previous failures would be this(short version): “Anything painful is only coming up to be healed, transmuted, and refined for my happiness independent of circumstances, and reflects the image of who I am everyday more and more becoming.”
These two simple steps, installing beliefs for learning, and installing beliefs for success with women were the major catalyst for my advancement. After 3 short weeks of installing and using these beliefs, I’ve seen a drastic change in where and how I focus my intent and energy. Thanks RJ for answering the question. I expect that many other guys are experiencing the exact same thing.
@Clyde
You see, those kinds of practices for transforming beliefs for learning and success with women AND emotional management are CRUCIAL.
Not only do they de-robotize you and give you freedom and choice to design your responses, opening your way to new actions and behaviors in the world with women, they allow you show up more attractive because you are a freer person with more choices than THEY have. That’s ALWAYS attractive, supporting the new behaviors you do.
Now you see why I teach this stuff….
“And how can this be? For he IS the Kwisatz Haderach!”…Alia of the Knife, “Dune”..Frank Herbert
@Clyde Well done, thou good and faithful Sarger! Come and inherit the Kingdom Of Poon, prepared for you from the foundation of the world by the Great Grey Cat. For while we were yet AFC’s, Sargy walked the back fences of the world for us, that we might know Moist Pink Abundance, forever and ever. Amen.
RJ,
Great article and so fresh that you must have just re-experienced these truths.
The problem with “older” women, even the beautiful ones, is the baggage of past relationships they often carry, and the lack of energy some have even in their 30’s.
I still have tons of energy and physical strength. I run into women in their upper 30’s or early 40’s that are still slender and good looking, but complain of tiredness all the time. I’m selective and want playful, adventurous, and energetic if possible, and don’t want spend too much time as a “sexual healer” getting them past old, sour relationships.
When you are a lot older, like me, even when you get them intrigued and there is back and forth touching and caresses, they sometimes stop and hold at that level.
Guys, in general, whats the average age for “older”?
I’m sick of society’s BS rules. Let’s make our own. I’ve known of men not only get younger women who were hot, but TFB’s (Trust Fund Baby’s) who worshiped them.
Being open to new ideas and feelings, along with good state is the fountain of youth psychically. I look for these in the women I sarge. Can she tolerate unstructured or undefined mental environments, and therefore allow the two of you to create your own space separate from conventional reality? Being adventurous has nothing to do with how many countries she’s visited (consumed) on vacations. Openness is the foundation for playfulness, adventurousness, and a youthfulness.
Women or guys who lack energy by their 30’s or early 40’s are usually that way because of the burdens of societies conventions and their responding lack of openness. Health is being able to react to meaningful contact with equal meaning, and not some predetermined response that others expect you to make.
@Roy, thou art not far from the Kingdom of Sarge. You say wisely….
here is good news, the more beautyful those young women in their teen or twen years are the more likely they are to positively respond to the sarging of men more than double their age! Especially when these girls are used to have contacts with older guys, eg. when they work as models or actrices.
Your age does not matter that much when you follow the guidelines Ross gives here, there is not much to add to his wise rules. Keep in mind that most young girls are not used to have good sex with their sameage lovers. Teach them the art of lovemaking and they will fall completely for you.
Just this, whether young women really get hot when you sarge on them also heavily depends on whether YOU look hot, even when much older. You need not look “young” (just think of George Clooney, a guy in his 50s nearly every teen and twen finds sexy) but it does matter how your body, your face and especially your butt is in shape. Furthermore it does matter how you smell cause it tells women whether you have strong and healthy hormonal glands and turns them on on a very atavistic level.
Good luck, guys and thanks to Ross for his excellent teachings!
Is there a pattern with the command/ambiguity wait-wet? Russian girls often say wait(shast) so I sometimes used wet with anchoring
What about this anacoluthon: “could you just be…(fast fractionation) wet” and then fractionate again changing her focus, how can I understand if a pattern is effecive when I insert it in the melody of a SS framework?
yeah but most young girls are little drama queens too. I prefer a woman who knows who she is, knows how to treat a man right and knows her way around the bedroom. Most girls in their 20’s just have no clue unless they’ve been total sluts in their teens. plus, a lot of them are “open” to older men, ’cause they’re looking for a sugardaddy and I sure as hell am not going to fall for THAT again.
I recently ditched a hot little piece of Eastern Euro-trash (22, model, HB9) and now I’m more determined than ever to learn how to build my screening radar for seducing QUALITY women. I never want to go through that kind of shit again. She turned out to be nothing but trash, then again maybe I just got unlucky.
@Sal I know many women in their 30’s and 40’s who are the most hysterical drama queens you could imagine but THEIR clocks are ticking so loud you are luckily rendered too deaf to hear what they are blabbering, most of the time. And their bodies are starting to droop, skin is starting to sag and the vag hangs like “sleeve of old wizard”. No, thanks.
Great post RJ, and I agree with a lot of what you say but you have left out a BIG part of the picture. Part of the attraction is the level of MATURITY that us older men have that younger guys don’t. It is not about sex.
I’m 56, and when I look back to how I used to behave with women in my twenties and thirties I can see how big the difference is.
Thomas:
You are right on the mark with your comment.
We don’t act incongruently like the young lads sometimes do. We know how to keep our calm and not let our moods sway us, and we are not looking for a girl to be mommy. We can treat them like mature adults, because we are mature adults ourselves. Maturity gives us the wisdom to stay clear of the ones with Daddy issues and we dont jump in at the word go just because she has a hot body.
All young women are sexy. When you’re no longer young yourself, there needs to be more than meets the eye.
I never sarge clubs or on the street. Most of my girls I get through referals. My current favorite is a girl my last serious girlfriend introduced to me. She wanted to break it off before she was going away to travel Indonesia for a year with her friends. I was OK with it but she felt so bad about leaving me that she made sure I got a replacement. Such a sweetie … She even writes me some times saying that I had better be as good to G as I was to her.
I think the most challenging part for us older men, is when we have to say goodbye to our sweeties.
Dont shoot the messenger lads, but not a lot of young women will want to stay when their biological clocks start ticking. I would not mind settling down again but I also know that no woman could ever take the place of my beautiful wife. I lost her ten years ago and still miss her dearly. We never had any kids and now that ship has sailed for me.
You will be an experience to her, or a notch in her belt if you like.
Take it or leave it, that’s just the name of the game, my advice is; if you can’t handle seeing them go, it is better not to get involved. It can be tough when they are such lovely creatures.
In RJ’s own words: “always leave them better than you found them”, for me this has paid off generously.
Younger men do not know how to do that. They lack the security within themselves. I’m no George Clooney, but my girls are not into “prettyboys”.
They always tell me, what they like about me the most is that I am a strong MAN, not a “stupid boy”. They like that I am upfront and honest and I dont “mess about”. I tell them how I use SS but they know that I dont play games.
To Roy Engstrom:
Obviously you have never known the intense pleasure of liberating a girl from her past experiences with men. The rewards are profound, not only in terms of sexual pleasure. Imagine having a girl trust you literally with her life in your hands.
My last serious girlfriend had what you call baggage. She was very cautious with me up until I proved to her that I can be trusted. I could never bring myself to do anything to hurt a woman. I know what pain is and I know that the younger the girl, the deeper the scars you can inflict. Any good Jew knows this but you dont have to be a Jew to be a good man.
She has blossomed into a strong, loving and kind woman and it warms my heart to hear her say that I was the one who helped her regain her trust in men. We always joke about that. When she gets married, I will have to be her “best man”.
This is the level of power you can gain from using SS, it is about something deeper than just getting a girl to have sex with you. But you need to take your own Ego out of the puzzle before you get to this level of Mastery. You need to let go of the idea of mastery to be a true Master of Seduction.
Shabbat Shalom
JK
@JK, You are speaking by means of the Sargy Spirit, and have inherited the Kingdom of Sarge! Blessed are those who hear the word of the Great Grey Cat and follow it, for they shall have moist pink abundance forever and ever. Sarge without end, amen!
Hi RJ,
If you could take your precious time to read this.
I managed to pick up a woman more my age using patterns with her, she had prior substance issues, and people who’s opinions I trust told me to walk, I thought I saw potential, and I knew, keeping her at arms length like a firework I had this under control. Somehow I knew.
Plus I hadn’t had sex for 10 years and I was averaging once a day for 4 months with this chick.
Last weekend we went to a friend of hers for a party, my girlfriend was drunk and called her X boyfriend who used to beat her up…Giggling she walks out the room where it’s quieter.
Get this:
Instead of sulking or believing in bullshit about my abilities, I immediately started running patterns on the host of the house (a 23yr old, great bod, great attitude, Neive Campblell looking, (Not Joking) very petete and great boobs that seem to defy gravity).
I kid you not, within 5-10 minuets she was sucking my face off, pulling my hair and mounting me, and everytime my girlfriend walks in the room she jumps off and stops, and as soon as her backs turned she was right back to it….Even more so than before.
I booted my girlfriend and I stayed the night with this chick, and she calls me, and calls me…I read her poems and stuff and wants to see me over easter…(She infact just last night complained how all her boyfriends have been immature and shit)
“Now you see why I teach this stuff….” …?… …no…
This is absolutely true and it happended last weekend, and my now X says she’s sorry and still fancy’s me… I could see her this weekend if I wanted to …But …This weekends free to sarge on.
I hadn’t had sex for atleast 10 years prior to this,
Seriously, when I make my fortune you’ll be receiveing a good half, you changed my life.
Bush
Amen.
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