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RJ
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Ross Jeffries™ is the founder, creator and Master Teacher of the worldwide seduction community. Featured as the mentor to Neil Strauss in the best-selling book, “The Game”, RJ has taught, coached, and mentored thousands of men around the world, since 1991, guiding them to the success with women they truly desire and deserve.
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Speaking of texting I made that mistake this past weekend in DC. haha I’m used to getting laid before getting the number but this time we both feel asleep after making out and I was like, shit, I have no idea what to do. So I got her number the next morning before I headed home to NY. It’s about a 5hr drive and I was in the back seat….needless to say I was bored….and I may have texted her. haha I got one response so figured she was cool with it and I sent another text later the next day…then the dreaded silence til today. I refuse to look desperate so if she texts me, cool. If not I’m done. haha May not be the best idea but I don’t know what else to do. If you have any other ideas I’d love to hear them. Thanks for listening to my frustrated blue balls message!
Mike
Sounds good to me… these are some good examples of things to be used with the “extractor” exercise. I would add another great advice from you, which is to attach excess meaning for being accepted or rejected by the woman, in the list os things to be left out of sarging. By the way, this is an interesting kind of media you chose…
Number 3, 4 & 5 sound overlapping and contradicting. I think its OK to go sexual unless you’re desperate about it. And in case she get scared or something, you can make it up with humour, demonstrating authority in her world and other stuff.
I didn’t say you shouldn’t go sexual. I said you should act HORNY. Big difference and key distinction.
RJ
Michael, I had a similar problem just recently. I slept with a girl at her place but left at night, she texted me the next morning asking if i got home alright and i replied that i got home fine and asked what she was up too, she said that she is going to work.
Then in two days i called her twice and send an sms telling her to call me back when she is finished with work. I had a feeling it was the wrong thing to do because i hate asking the woman to call me, she sms me when she finished work and i gave her a call but she seemed very stand offish and I haven’t heard from her since. Its been 3 days but im not calling her but I might call her today to see whats going on.
This is for Sooner: I think the response from Ross (entry number 4) meant to say that you should NOT act HORNY. I’m sure you figured that out, but you never know, as I personally don’t think that #5 is directly related to #3 or #4.
These are great tips. I think the over-validation thing applies for after sex too. I lose interested wicked-fast if someone is constantly texting or calling. Over-complimenting can come across as insincere and desperate and is also a HUGE turnoff. But, it can be extremely difficult to strike a balance between too much and too little.
And, I love the being too indirect thing. I’m so guilty of that! It goes along with trying to be ‘too cool’ and too cool = insecure = loser. Any smart girl will spot that a mile away.
Hi Ross, great stuff as usual…I only differ on #2 and #4; I’ve given gifts and still gotten it on (albeit nothing ridiculously expensive; sometimes it’s just a single rose) and I’ve managed to ask girls over the phone “You want to come over and have sex? I’ve got champagne AND chocolate syrup (or whatever)”, and it worked more often than it didn’t, but it could have just been ‘right chick + right time’. Anyway all the others seem valid.
Keep ’em COMING, K.K.
Points 1,2 and 3 are very clear but can you explain point 4 and 5 some more?
I don’t understand the reason behind them.
I thought SS was about being indirect in a way.
I suppose my question would be about direct versus indirect statments. Is this an issue of intention, where you should just be clear that you want to spend time with her? Or am I mixing up just being indirect with what you may imply with said statment?
Thanks for the VERY good advice,I have fucked things up with one those on the list. Can’t learn if I don’t fuck it up sometimes..Thanks Clifford Campos,Carson City,NV
There are several sound gaps
Ahh..Should’ve known better, she seeked me first I went all AFC over this one chick..two weeks later now I can’t even meet with her and I did almost all of the things that I wasn’t supposed to do (didn’t buy any gift)…awesome teachings, it is frustration saving advice of the smart kind
Hi! I agree with all of them, except “giving her gifts prior to sex”…of course, don’t sell you car, but if you can afford it, why not – eg flowers etc? I consider it an act of generosity, of knitghtliness. I am not very sucessfull with women, but this is how I want to be, and not rude (eg, don’t even drive her home, that’s also a gift, isn’t it?). Besides, far from being an extravagant, I consider it normal from time to time to give gifts generally, so…if I give gifts to an orphanage let’s say, why not to a girl that I like?
Thanks, Alex
The method of instruction was hard to follow and didn’t have the power of your live teachings.
Funny thing is I didn’t do any of those mistakes.
It all started with HER texting me like 1000 times a day. I stayed balanced. After 1 or 2 weeks of this I decided to f*ck her – and I know for certain she never enjoyed sex that much – so it can’t be that. Anyway – after the weekend things changed completely – she stopped writing me and in training (we train in the same Capoeira-club) she acts like nothing ever happened between us. So I took the initiative and started to write her – I guess that was a mistake.
However – she started to cancel dates and I told her I’m not going to put up with her BS – she apologized and promised not to do that ever again. Well – already on the next day she canceled again. I told her I have enough of that and hung up the phone. She apologized in a text message but that didn’t change anything.
I see her almost every day and we still act like nothing happened.
My problem is, I really love her character – I’ve never met a person, let alone a woman I have so much in common with like her + she’s a 8 or 9. In the other hand, she’s irresolute and for her age rather immature (she’s 21 – I’m 24).
I want to either start something with her or move on – but I can’t get her out of my head.
What would you guys do?
I see what you mean and know you talked about calibration somewhere else, and what I mean is that it does not help when we talk in general about being to overtly sexual or too indirect. What help is to talk about the sexual tension, how to create it in confidently and maybe make it up if it went not so right.
Ross,
Great reminder advise, thanks for the booster shot. My latest sarge is a smokin HB & the temptation to lavish her with a barrage of compliments can at times be overwhelming. Thanks for validation.
ross jefferies you a gallist. real ladies man. these things are really the things that cause men to not get the pussy. i was dealing with a girl the right way one night and she gave me her number without me asking. i called her and saw she was playing around so i gave her the hard treatment. respect due to you
KK:
There are exceptions to every rule, ok? But at least with substantially younger women-remember I am 51 and my last GF was 20-no gifts is a great rule, at least prior to sex.
RJ
Justin,
By “indirect” I mean making excuses for wanting to see her, like, “Hey, I’ve written something cool. I need your opinion” or “I need a wing girl. Come hang out with me and help me meet chicks” etc.
Tom,
You say you love her “character”. WHAT character? She flakes. Constantly. That’s not very good “character” to me.
RJ
Dr. G,
Yep. It’s biological; looking at the pretty face/hot body gives us a shot of endorphins, dopamine and adrenaline and testosterone. A dangerous mix, to be sure.
Gotta cultivate will and witness consciousness to give us the power over the pussy.
RJ
Orion,
It’s an experiment to share my spontaneous thoughts and notes, but I take your note that it was hard to follow for you. I’m working on other means to refine and present these ideas. This is a more of a “take a peek into the laboratory of the Mad Scientist of Seduction. ”
RJ
Ross,
I know what you mean – I don’t want to spend/waste my time with someone who thinks she’s doing me a favor by meeting me – and that’s what I told her too.
I want to get unstuck and leave that “rag doll” behind me if necessary but it’s kinda hard when I see her every day and when she gives me this certain look that drives me crazy and leaves me in wonder. Sometimes I get the feeling like she’s playing with me. She told me herself that she doesn’t know what she wants (from me) – I just don’t know how to handle this situation with someone I see every day. Damn, it’s not even possible to avoid contact with her.
I guess you’d say she’s a waste of my thoughts and that there are others out there waiting – and I know you’d be right (I love to go out picking up girls) – so what shall I do or how do I get her out of my head?
Great advice. I’ve made some of those mistakes before. If you’re too available, complimenting, and giving her gifts you’re going to screw it up. I’ve found out if you treat her like you don’t care about her, she’s all over you and would not leave you alone.
Great advice. I’ve made some of those mistakes before. I’ve found out if you’re too available, call her too much, over complimenting, and giving her gifts you’re going to screw it up. I’ve found out that if you treat her like you don’t care, she’s all over you and won’t leave you alone.