Dear Speed Seduction® Students And Fans,
As a decent, caring person, many smart guys will find themselves wanting to help and support the women they care about.
Yet, there’s that balance, between being strong and supportive, versus becoming her therapist, or worse, her emotional tampon. Let’s say she is going through a really tough time. In empathy, you want her to really open up and share everything in her life with you.
Be careful though. When we care about someone, we can get pulled into their stuff so deep that it colors who we are and our own energy and sense of possibility and approach to life. It will certainly affect the energy she feels coming from YOU.
Let me say this: some issues are best resolved ENERGETICALLY, as opposed to behavior or language. Pay attention to your own behavior and vibe when you are with her. Set the intent to understand where she is at, WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THERE FOR YOURSELF.
Do you notice what I said? I said without HAVING TO. Doesn’t mean you can’t, it means it is a choice.
When we care about someone, the heart opens and EVERYTHING comes out. Joy, lust, caring, sadness, grief, anger. If she’s carrying around a lot of painful baggage, she may want to hold it in and being around you makes that impossible; you open her heart and out it comes.
Women revive the emotions associated with the topics that they are talking about. Therefore, it is crucial to know what topics to introduce to get her emotions moving in the way we want them to move – towards lust, desire, fascination, desire, connection, etc. And away from the pain.
Doesn’t that just make sense? And aren’t you serving HER by helping her make a NEW CHOICE?
Here are a few topics that you should always have a way to bring up with women.
- Fantasy, escape, diversion, adventure
- Indulgence, cravings, spoiling herself
- Connections, with others, nature, beauty, something bigger and more beautiful than she expected
Look: life brings pain. No avoiding that. It’s what we wisely do with it.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. For many many, many more easy ways to direct a woman’s energy and emotions in a way that serves BOTH of you…all the way to your bed (or floor or couch), check out Speed Seduction® 3.0.
AMEN ROSS!!!!! TESTIFY!!!!!
It’s so ironic you should post on this topic at this particular moment because just after hanging up the phone with my sponsee (A.A.) whose positioning himself in the middle of a bunch of peoples problems I used that exact phrase. Emotional tampon.
I told him the story of this fling I just let go of with this good looking woman that we both know who is also going through a divorce. With your material and knowledge of my energy I knew I can only handle so much from her and I framed our relationship as an escape for each other. I would talk about some things and may help with some things but there was a purpose for our getting together. A fantasy break in the turmoil with no commitments. She knew that to maintain what we had there could be a little but not much sharing of turmoil.
The reason I ended it was because of the hot cold. I think things got to the point where she couldn’t express herself sexually when we met because there was too much going on in her life and in her head.
In regards to her situation I was INTERESTED(to a point)but not INVOLVED which seemed to be the right combo for me and the right combo for the relationship.
Seemed to help him and reaffirm to myself how to maintain a healthy boundary for everyone.
Has anyone told you that you’re a freakin’ genius!
Mike
@Entertain
Genius? Me? I’d be the last person to dispute it(thanks, Gary Halbert for that pithy line, RIP, GH!).
Perfect timing Ross! it’s 12:13 am Halloween day! I just came back from a dreadful experience with an emotional vampire & succubus all in one! In all fairness she’s an old girl friend of mine & she called me crying saying she wanted to… well I’ll let imagination fill in the rest, it didn’t rhyme with “paid” or “duck”. I went there to comfort her. and quickly realized she was trying to use me as an emotional tampon! I also knew in my gut that I didn’t want to be there anymore! so I told her that I was all set with this bullshit & didn’t want any more of it! of course more tears came! anyways Happy Halloween!
That was amazing!
It begins really nice and heartfelt… And then you return to your sleazy lusty self 😉
But seriously, this is great advice, which goes deep. Thanks!
Love you RJ!
@Nabub
Thanks for the hearts and flowers, always appreciated.
RJ
Pick-up zen guru and comedic genius Ross Jeffries, why don’t you get more comments on your blog?
Recently, I was talking to a girl friend of mine and she was talking about how she wanted to kill herself. It is all too easy to turn into an emotional tampon in those situations, but I quickly reframed it into something good and adventurous. I told her that her mind is her friend, and that it is telling her that she needs to explore herself more. I then roleplayed this whole adventure she could go on to explore herself more, adding jokes along the way.
I could tell she felt much, much better after – and I didn’t have to be a shoulder to cry on.
Telling words Ross. How many times have i been sucked into the emotional maze of some girls minds and felt my buoyant energy drain away and die as I sympathize. Then you reflect that energy back and she sees you through a different lens that serves neither of you..
As for GH – what a genius and what a waste thats hes gone
Another powerful post Ross!
When asked to choose between (1) listen to a woman pour out negative emotions and get carried away by the negativity and (2) take her by the hand by having the stronger frame and make her feel better (make her feel lust, fantasy, etc. with SS), I would pick the latter. It’s a No Brainer!
I can’t help BUT laugh at the old me who does the former, which doesn’t really help her and doesn’t help me get women. 😀