Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
The other night I was hanging out with the Swedish ex-room mate of my Swedish ex-girlfriend.
Let’s call this gorgeous, 5 foot 10, 25 year old, buxom Swedish lass, “Inge”.
Anyway, Inge and I were sitting over coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on Wilshire and 9th when we struck up a conversation with a Persian woman in her mid-thirties.
This lady was talking about a recent date with a guy who seemed so romantic and wonderful over dinner. But then, as soon as they got back to her place, he aggressively jumped on her.
She asked him to slow down a bit. “This is going too fast,” she said she told him. “Can we slow down and talk a bit? A woman needs a bit of talk first.”
This just pissed him off. “We did our talking at the restaurant,” he said. Then he got more aggressive.
When she insisted he slow down and talk, he got up and left!
This lady shook her head and said, “Doesn’t he understand? Women want to talk a bit first. I was ready for him but I wanted him to talk and make me feel a bit special.”
After we left the Bean, Inge said to me, “That woman was so full of shit, generalizing like that. I’ve got lots of sexual confidence and if I want to fuck a guy enough to invite him back to my place, I’m perfectly fine with getting to the fucking!”
(Hey-do you still wonder why I love the Swedish people?)
Here is the point of the story:
- While it’s often safe to have general rules to follow, every woman is different, and you have to calibrate to the unique woman in front of you. (And if you are anal enough to write to me about generalizing about Swedish women, fuck you very much.)
- Almost never take a woman’s auto-pilot responses at face value. In the case of the Persian, her real emotional need was not to talk or to feel special, but rather, to feel comfortable letting go of control.
The guy took it personally and permanently, rather than saying something like, “Of course. Let’s just do what we only both feel comfortable with. Why don’t you give me a little tour of your place?”
His next move? After about half an hour of chat, to say, “I’ve got to make it an early evening. Can you walk me out?”
As soon as he gets to the door, turn around, pull her in, and kiss her passionately.
(By the way, I’m working on a new course on Effective Sexual Aggression And Creative Closing For The Former Nice Guy. Stay tuned for more, because I’ll be going into great depth about how to master this stuff. It’s still a fundamental sticking point for too many guys).
I’d like to hear your comments on this subject and this post.
Peace, piece and hooray for Inge and her lovely countrywomen!
RJ
P.S. Speaking of all lovely things Scandinavian, two weekends from now (June 10-12) is our next 3-day seminar, located in Copenhagen, Denmark. Claim your ticket to immerse yourself in 3-days of total Seduction mastery teaching by clicking here right now.
“Effective Sexual Aggression And Creative Closing For The Former Nice Guy”
Would you put a module in it about a same day “day” close? I remember once when I was talking with a girl outside a whole foods and she said “do you live around her?” and I stupidly ran a pattern and then her cell phone rang and that was that and she had to leave…sometimes you just need to take the bull by the horn
Hi RJ
If it was not for your lessons, I would be still that guy. That
use to batter his dignity for women’s affection(begging). It’s all the bull shit we been programme into, beleiving that if I buy this, I get that.
One Love
Bullet
Hey Ross,
Good idea for a product about “kino”
Anyway didn’t you say you were making a product with kezia? when are both of these programs u speak of coming out?
Yea, nice “kino” idea. Keep ’em coming!
Ross, I really love the mental aspect of what you teach. I don’t know what it is, but all of the sudden women I’ve been friends with for years are throwing themselves at me. (And women I don’t know are noticing me in ways I’m not used to.) The weird part is it doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything drastically different, I just shifted my mindset. I’ve used some of the more subtle patterns you teach, but this is more of an overall shift in the way I’m thinking and interacting with people. (Your website and videos have really helped me with that.) It’s all about being bold in my actions and saying pretty much whatever is on my mind. I’m sad to think of all the ladies I’ve missed out on simply because I didn’t have the balls to go for it in the past. With these small changes I’m getting way more action (and attention) than I have in years. It feels great, like I have some new found powers. I still have work to do, but it’s going to be a-hell-of-a-lot-of-fun. Just wanted to say thanks.
@Dave
Thanks. Please, join in my Wall Of Proof project and help me wipe out my competition by sending me a testimonial! Email me:
ross@seduction.com
RJ
When do you speak again in L.A.?
Hi Ross
Your Chicago seminar was awesome, and I look forward to you new course in closing.
Best regards
Knight
@Knight how the hell are you progressing? I want to know?
competition Ross? you have no competition. Once I went out with a girl and we had a great night. However I couldn´t get from the just friends zone to the lets fuck like crazy weasels zone. If I had knew SS at that time everething would had been diferent.
Sorry for my english, I´m from Mexico
Well Ross when I landed at home whilst in the airport I chit-chatted(speed seduction style)to a beautiful blonde sexy legged woman. She was hot and, I managed to kiss her before I left. Not bad eh?
Ross,
I think your new theme is great. The FemiNazi’s have brainwashed too many guys into a perverted wuss bag perspective of reality. All this legislated morality that divides us all. These girls want it as bad as any guy-society is so fucked up via PC pinko bull shit.
RJ-do the ATL man. Go to Lake Lanier and smell some peaches-lol! That would be a great conference. Your Nail Your Inner Game is a boon to emotional well being. We all have to learn to meditate-its an essential to better living.
@Joe
Maybe I’ll hold a meditation retreat! Meditation, Magick and Manifestation…..
Love your stuff, RJ: there’s a great, racy vibrncy to the way you write these days’
Effective sexual aggression is exactly what you need to teach: for many of us it goes wrong when we feel the vibes but simply lack the nerve or the sense of timing that would let us follow through….