Dear Seeker of Success,
I’ve seen Sarges go colder than a winter day in Antarctica the moment a man senses he’s being tested by the salaciously scintillating Sargee in front of him.
Case in point: this note from a student who’s basically doing it right but still hitting a stumbling block…
> After a few month’s worth of working on myself and feeling grounded whenever approaching, talking, interacting with a woman I choose to sarge, I am finding that I am not being successful in recognizing when I’m being tested and for whatever reason the connection is lost. What are some of the indicators that I am being tested?
Some of what you talk about can be accurately viewed as “tests”; meaning that
She Is Seeking A Response That May Not
Be Consciously In Her Awareness
(And Also Is Not Expressed Directly)
That is a HUMAN trait.
We ALL do this.
Men AND women.
What I have learned, when it comes to sex, is that many of what “seem” like tests are about her needs, as you’d say for:
- Trust
- Being well led (but not 100%; it’s fun to give over the lead and many women can handle taking it for a while to some extent)
- And most importantly: women need to be FRACTIONATED.
When it comes to sex/intimacy etc. women need fractionation.
Often, what SEEMS like resistance or pulling away or testing is just her own way of fractionating her
Connecting To You So That
It Is More Appealing When
The Connection Returns.
I really do NOT think this is at all conscious.
It’s just what women, hard-wired in the brain, NEED to feel sufficiently aroused etc.
They aren’t testing for “strength” etc. etc. in these cases.
They just are attempting to “self medicate” in a sense and assist the process of their own desire.
We guys, with our driving need to penetrate, penetrate, PENETRATE NOW NOW NOW have a hard time (pun definitely intended) grasping this concept.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Speed Seduction® Rapid And Total Success With Women shows you how to use the seduction triggers she gives you to get her totally into you within minutes of meeting her. What action will you take to claim your instant access right now?
Your blog couldn’t be any more timely for me, RJ. Very recently while I was taking a leisurely stroll around my neighborhood, I met this young athletic-looking blonde HB walking her dog. (This is a golden way to meet hot women, by the way, so allow me to urge your readers to start taking more walks outside whenever the weather is pleasant!) As I typically do in this situation, I opened by simply complimenting the woman on her cute dog and asking permission to pet it. From there, we enjoyed a scintillating 10-15 minute conversation, in which she gave me lots of great Indicators of Interest (IOIs), and I ended up getting her number. One of the potential challenges I uncovered during our conversation, however, was that she was getting ready to move to the other side of town (approximately 20 minutes away) in two weeks. I reasoned she would soon become very busy and inundated with packing, moving, etc. so I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot or all momentum could quickly become lost.
So after exchanging several flirty texts, we agreed to meet up together several evenings later to take a walk with her dog around the neighborhood (after having been unsuccessful in getting her to join me for a coffee date a couple of days prior). After our walk, she invited me inside her place where we chatted for two hours. Her two sisters/roommates were also home, so I felt somewhat restricted. Nonetheless, the HB was still giving me all kinds of positive signs. I was KINO escalating her quite a bit but when I slowly leaned in to kiss her (she and I were all alone on her living room sofa at this point), she looked away and changed the subject. Then I found myself having to work on trying to rebuild her state all over again.
Unfortunately, I was unable to seal the deal with kissing or sex that evening. In fact, it felt like things had taken a step backwards by night’s end. And in the days since, she’s been hot and cold. For instance, we’ll exchange a few playful text messages but then in mid-conversation she’ll suddenly stop replying. So I’ll then wait a couple days to give her some space before re-engaging her, only to find her repeating this same pattern again.
This brings me to the present where I’d been feeling some growing frustration with the woman’s seemingly high level of interest, yet relatively low level of investment. I had become convinced the woman was “shit testing” or toying with me. But after reading your blog, Ross, it’s given me pause to consider the possibility that she may simply be fractionating.
Anyway, the HB will be moving just a few days from now. Even though her new place will still be a reasonably close distance from me, my past personal experience with this type of situation tells me that as more time passes without consistent interaction, especially on a face-to-face basis, my chances of succeeding with her will rapidly diminish.
So how do you deal with a situation like this, Ross? If a woman is fractionating for a prolonged period of time, is it best to keep giving her space? Or is it ever appropriate to turn up the heat a bit and let her know in some non-antagonistic way that you’re about to walk away if she doesn’t soon find herself starting to realize that being with you is the best possible choice a woman can make?
Thanks.
I’d guess she has a boyfriend. The hot-and-cold, the abrupt drops in conversations – these are clues.
Great thought-provoking article as always RJ. The question that is provoked is, how can you elicit the antidote to reel her back in when she’s unable to provide information for you to calibrate (ie she’s absent)?
Love your work Brother. You’re a true, global legend.
This is why understanding calibration itself, and the larger method of Speed Seduction, comes into play.
Adapting to THAT woman in THAT situation and THAT set of responses (or lack thereof).