Dear Seeker of Success,
Is there something wrong with having sex with a woman, knowing or believing she just wants and enjoys sex for its own sake?
Some men believe that ultimately he has to “pay for it” one way or another – often in the form of “proving” he’s in it for more than “just sex”.
He tries to believe that it’s ok, that she wants and enjoys sex.
“If I don’t give it to her, someone else will.”
But It Just Doesn’t Work Out
That Way For Him
Could there be some sort of guilt involved?
First, foremost, uppermost, and important-most: in order to have the belief that there’s something wrong with f@@king a woman for nothing, what has to be missing from your sensory experience?
What is your perception and experience of making love with a woman?
Can you sense her pleasure as she is feeling it?
Can you feel her arousal as it ebbs and flows in her?
Can you feel her pussy twitching when you hold her afterwards, even when you are no longer inside her, it is still twitching and pulsing for you?
To Me, This Is NOT About Beliefs.
It’s about your direct experience of the exchange of pleasure, erotic energy and sensuality that is the heart of good sex, as opposed to mechanical pounding away and discharging your sexual energy (and dumping your load).
If you are only humping mechanically or have little or no sensitivity or sensuality then…
That Is The REAL Issue.
The only way you could possibly hold the belief that she isn’t enjoying it is if you are shut down to sensing her energy and yours and what is going on with that dance.
As far as guilt: are you sure? How do you KNOW it is guilt?
Maybe it is just uncertainty mixed with a vague sense that sex can be a lot more for you as well as for her, whomever “her” might be.
Ok, maybe the belief that women don’t enjoy sex has shut you down to opening your senses and sensuality.
So the solution is to
Open The Sensuality And The Senses
Don’t look at it as “guilt complex”.
Look at it as an information-block and a shutting down of senses to experience that now has to be awakened.
If this is the case, the next time you are with a woman, TAKE YOUR TIME.
Do NOT f@@k her no matter what.
See how you can enjoy just the kissing, the touching, with no hurry at all.
Make your aim to create a nice erotic haze that you can blissfully share for a morning, or evening or afternoon.
Do NOT put it in until they say, “I want you inside me” or words to that effect.
This is as much about you discovering your own sensuality and openness to energy than anything else.
Peace,
RJ
P.S. Understanding the real psychology of what gets women hot and bothered and ready to go will give you an advantage over almost every other guy out there.
That’s what I have put together for you inside the Rapid and Total Success With Women system.
Dear Ross,
on exploring my own sensuality I discovered that if I get physical with a woman then I also get emotionally attached to her on some level. And since I travel a lot I seldom meet a woman I really enjoy for more than a few days. Just the last week I was in another city and I met a girl who was travelling too. I approached, sensed good vibes and asked her out to coffee the next day. We had coffee and then went for a walk in the harbour front in the rain and we walked arm in arm all along. When she dropped me off at my hotel, I knew she was ready to be kissed and I held her by the waist, pulled her in and kissed her and she kissed me back. However, I’m just afarid of getting close to someone so soon, and since we both would be leaving the city the next day and going separate ways I didn’t even take her number or email, because I just felt that to create this kind of magic she and I have to be together at the same place at the same time! It really can’t be done over the phone and email. So I knew fully well when I was kissing her that I could advance but I also knew I’d miss her for a long time afterwards and that would affect my functional capability and productivity in other areas. So in my case its not guilt. I think maybe its fear of very quick intimacy.
Do u think I have room to improve here? I’d be happy to hear what you think.
Sounds like some sort of block.
Read this page: Nail Your Inner Game
Does something here resonate for you?
@RJ
I’ve been sending you vibes for a while now that you need to post stuff like this.
Excellent material. Much appreciated.
@Roy
Happy to serve!
Reho
I think sometimes we frogett that vulnerabilty is simply willingness to hurt, i feel that the momemnt you notice a loving motion you fear of it not geting held by someone , fulfilled . so you create this berrier to protect yourself from upcoming pain that can occur, so you keep your distance. its a nice belief you’ve created, although i think somthing a lot more simple can lead your attention here.
love & warmth 🙂
Gal
Read this:
The Difference Between “Hurt” and “Harm”
That was beautiful…
Women are beautiful creatures with wants, needs, and desires. Understand, embrace, and celebrate that.
Thank you for the feedback Ross. I’ve designed a new belief which says, “I’m open to amazing enduring romantic connections with women. Distance and time don’t matter and my inbox is flooded with loving messages from beautiful women who are eager to meet and please me”. I’m still reading the starter kit material and I’m enjoying it very much. Thank you.
That is an excellent belief!
Holding hands or arm in arm and walking in the rain.don’t be stupid about women. I’ve met several men who really don’t worry if the get any sex or not. (I think they are nuts but so what) I believe if a woman loves sex then I should give it to her. I have been very lucky in my life’s because I had two girls who were very good friends and they opened the conversation about sex with just being friends. We discussed the fact that we might not enjoy sex together but decided to try it and see. Both girl and I lasted over five years. No one ever shed a tear except when it was so good we thought we would die!
You, my friend, have found the Kingdom of Sarge!
I’m so glad to read this latest blog from Ross and some of the responses in the comment section because I’m convinced I live in the one of the most insular, small-minded cities in America (though hopefully for not much longer) where the women are like The Walking Dead. Over the past 2 1/2 years since my divorce, I’ve immersed myself in Speed Seduction material, attended SS seminars, and applied what I’ve learned in the field so I can “get back in the game”. After all, when I first discovered SS back before I got married, I experienced incredible and unprecedented personal success with women (which also landed me my smoking hot now-ex-wife). But now nearly 15 years later, I find myself stuck in a seemingly hopeless situation where I come into contact with very few desirable women and they don’t seem even the least bit interested in meeting or connecting with any men outside of their tiny little social bubble (which consists exclusively of guys they’ve either grown up with, or met back in school or at work), let alone even remotely willing to entertain the thought of exploring and enjoying hot sexual adventures with someone new. In my area, “One-itis Disease” plagues pretty much the entire indigenous adult female population. Not coincidentally, nearly all of them appear bored, miserable, and unhappy when they’re out in public with their men. The sexual energy emitted from females in general here is basically zero. Despite this, women seem not at all open or willing to break away from the familiarity and “safety” of their boring and mediocre relationships and will elect to stick with them, come hell or high water. With that said, why should I even want to bother making a play for females who have such low self-regard and personal standards?
Reading Ross’s blog and comments like Bob’s pretty much give me my only remaining glimmer of hope with females anymore… I really do want to believe there are still beautiful, sexy, fun, friendly, and engaging women out there who really do like and enjoy sex for its own sake and are actually *waiting* to meet amazing men (like us!) who are ready and eager to share the gift of Speed Seduction with them! So until the day I’m able to get my ass out of this social graveyard where the pussy is drier than a Sahara Desert summer, I’m wondering if anyone could kindly offer some insight as to what I can do to help myself in the meantime until I’m able to relocate to pinker pastures and finally start enjoying some LONG OVERDUE sexual adventures with all the smoking hot women I so richly deserve? Thanks!
Short answer: drive to the nearest decent-sized town that isn’t the town you live in, and Sarge there. Maybe the oasis you are seeking isn’t as far as you think.
Make a practice of doing this once a week, assuming you have at least one day off from work.