Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
The other day, I did a radio interview that went much better than I would have expected.
You see, I’ve done hundreds of radio interviews in my fifteen plus years of teaching Speed Seduction®, and usually the hosts are dumb as a bag of rocks.
But the hosts of this interview were actually quite bright, and one of them asked me a question that forms of the basis of this report:
“What are the top mistakes men make with women?”
Now, as I answered her, I realized that this crucial information needed to get out to far more people than were listening to that program.
Hence this report, that will reveal ten fatal mistakes that almost every guy is making, in one way or another. Any one of these mistakes is bad news for your success with women, but if you are making three or more of them, you are virtually guaranteeing yourself a life of struggle, settling, and very possible sexual starvation. And I don’t wish that on anyone.
On the other hand, when you correct these mistakes, and you’ll pretty quickly find yourself in a world of power, choice, satisfaction, and fulfillment with the kind of women your friends just dream of and drool over.
So let’s get going with the first fatal mistake. I realize it is a big mouthful, but bear with me and I will explain every word. Here we go:
Fatal Mistake #1:Overfocusing On The Behaviors And Actions You Want From Women Instead Of First Focusing On Creating The Right Emotions To Motivate Those Behaviors And Actions
Ok. Like I just said, I realize I said a big mouthful. But bear with me here, because getting this concept could turn your entire life around when it comes to juicy fulfillment with awesome women.
Listen: for the most part, as males, we are very behavior and action focused. We think of terms of what we want to do, how we want to act, and what we want others to do and how we want others to act.
In the case of women, we are most likely to ask ourselves questions like, “How can I get her to go out with me? How can I get her to sleep with me? What can I do to get Debby to have a threesome?” Etc etc etc.
We don’t ask questions about how we want women to feel. We ask questions about how we can get women to act.
Now it is all very well to be goal-oriented; I support that and approve of it.
However, when it comes to women, the key to getting them act the way you want is to ask:
“What are the emotional states in which it would be most natural for her to do all these great things with me, to me, and for me?”
In other words, if Debby or Sally or Hortensia is going to sleep with you/blow you/have a threesome, what are the emotions/emotional states she needs to be in to most easily and naturally want to be do these things?
Now, I realize this is a pretty foreign and off-center way for us guys to be thinking. But bear in mind this rule of personal change I’ve taught thousands of guys:
“The further a way of thinking or acting stands from what you are used to doing, the greater the potential for results much better than what you are used to enjoying”
Put another way: the further you stretch, the greater you progress.
You see, to have great results with women, you don’t just need to change your actions. You need to change how you are thinking.
Given the truth of this, start learning to ask, “What emotional states would be useful for women to experience when they are around me so they naturally want to do all the things I want them to do with me/for me/to me?”
Now, when I ask this question in my seminars, the answers I typically get from students are:
“Lust”
“Fascination”
“Arousal”
“Attraction”
“Urgency”
All very good, very useful, and very powerful emotional states in which to guide women.
But I would also balance these with the following:
“Safety”
“Trust”
“Comfort”
“Connection”
You see, not only do most guys not even think in terms of emotional states. They don’t think in terms of having the proper balance of emotional states.
We can think of the first set of emotional states I listed as being in a general category I’ll call “heat”. Meaning that when women are in these states, they are feeling strong body sensations of desire, sexual arousal, etc.
We can think of the second set of emotional states as “comfort”. Meaning that there is an overall(but less intense) body sensation of being “ok”.
Sometimes this just amounts to an absence of negative emotions like “fear” “anxiety” or “worry”. In that sense, these states are more about what ISN’T there; it’s not that women are feeling an overall comfort, but that they are not feeling threatened or fearful. For some women, that is all they require when it comes to the “comfort” states.
Sometimes, there is a more active overall body sense of well-being, feeling connected in a good way to the man, safety, comfort, etc. Some women require that.
When you are engaged in the process of very successfully attracting women, the key is to get a good balance of comfort and heat. You need both to shape her feelings in a way where she feels an urgent need to jump your bones(to use scientific terminology).
Getting both in the right proportions and the right time is where most 99 % of guys fall down flat.
The “nice guys” are fantastic at creating the comfort states. So a woman feels perfectly safe. But perfectly safe and only that leads to hearing….
…”Let’s Just Be Friends”
To which I say, “No. If you want a friend, get a dog.”
Guys who can only or mostly generate the heat states are certainly much better off than the “nice guys”. But the problem for these “players” is that often, as turned on as a woman might be, if she doesn’t also feel some kind of comfort state, she’ll put up lots of last minute resistance or just plain talk herself out of the entire thing. Or go ahead with it and deeply regret it the next day and make the player’s life a living hell.
So not only will creating the right mix of emotional states of heat and comfortIt will help make the entire experience much more rewarding and fun for you AND them much more easily get women jumping into your bed. .
And that sure beats a poke in the eye, doesn’t it?
